Dude! With that much ass, if you're gonna fight over something, shouldn't it be over a bargain basement deal treadmill? Actually, he's really praying and showing how thankful he is to have been able to cushion someone's fall.

Let me at it! I gotta have it! I gotta have it! Uh…what is it? Damn! Get off me!!

If they couldn't even wait for the gate to completely open, I'm pretty sure it would be a good guess that they didn't even stop to share Thanksgiving with family, much less belch out a prayer. Can you pick out will get stomped?

If they couldn’t even wait for the gate to completely open, I’m pretty sure it would be a good guess that they didn’t even stop to share Thanksgiving with family, much less belch out a prayer. Can you pick out who will get stomped?

When you celebrate Thanksgiving, don’t forget your prayers and thanks.
The Indians shared their bounty with all the christian skanks.

Should the Indians celebrate it too? ‘T was the beginning of their end.
They thought the pale skinned pilgrims would be their true blue friend.

Those Christians stole their land, breaking treaties left and right.
They then turned on the Indians, killed most of them on sight.

Fast forward to the present day and on those whose land we stand,
we trample and we fight, scratch and claw to buy a brand.

A society sustained by spending will shortly crash and burn,
as our wages sit and stagnate, when will we ever learn?

Thanksgiving empties purses and encourages corporate greed,
there really is no thought for the workers and their need.

No holiday for the Indians who are on the reservation,
as they bemoan the fate of mother earth; they see the devastation.

The crowds will be in long lines that snake around a store.
Johnny’s toys are not enough, he’s crying out for more.

He threw a temper tantrum, broke his smartphone on my head.
And now he wants another one before he’ll go to bed.

I’ll trample over anyone who dares get in my way.
To hell with giving thanks, there is no time to pray.

I’m just like all the rest, out to get my shopping fix.
I’ll punish other shoppers with some well-aimed high heel kicks.

Written by,
Shelby I. Courtland
© 2013 Shelby I. Courtland

Get ready to hit the stores, trample each other and shop until your credit card drops! But by all means, give no thought to the truth of this ‘holiday’, nor to the fact that this ‘holiday’ has turned into a free-for-all brawl between shoppers and retailers. Who will spend the most and who will lure in the most shoppers with ‘beat-you-up’ over bargains?

Christians, don’t even try to fake the fact that you won’t be out there in the fray along with the rest of the fighting, kicking, screaming mob hell bent on amassing and hoarding more materialistic bullshit! Some of you ‘christians’ might just stop for a couple of seconds to issue a prayer that you get everything on Little Johnny’s wish list and YOURS, but you’ll elbow and kick your way through the store, nevertheless. So, hop to it! You’re used to taking! Carry on!

12 thoughts on “Thanksgiving?

  1. Now this poem made Tubularsock happy for a change! Remember the real turkeys are the ones that are eating them!

    I love your reference to throwing the smartphone ……… he’d be dead before he went to bed if he was my kid!

    Nice going once again Shelby. You made my day!


    • Thank you Tube! What I posted is the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth and I have NO problem putting it out there as you can see!

      Hell! This one even made my day! Good on me! LMAO!!!

      Thanks again!


    • LMAO! Don’t I just have a ‘way’ with words? ROFL!! Yep, another helliday that will bring out the bestworst in the lunatic shopping fanatics as they stomp on each other for a goddamn bargain. This is the time when I wish that I had opened a PayDay Loan store or a Title Loan Company because they are getting rich off of the fools who so easily part with their vehicles and paychecks to purchase a huge HDTV and then in January, the electric company will turn the lights out. Oh, well…they’ll still have the TV. Maybe if they have a long enough extension cord, a neighbor will take pity on ’em and plug it in.(I’ve actually seen this). I gotta tell ya, some people really, really need their head examined as they have no concept of what their ‘priorities’ should be.

      Thanks No Black Pete! Glad you got a laugh over this one! I’m still laughing because they won’t be trampling and kicking me in an effort to get little bad ass Johnny ANOTHER smartphone so that he can bust ’em up side the head with it AGAIN!! LOL!!!


      • I am tempted to say that I could not care less about the one-brain-cell zombies doing as their program dictates. But, I am sure that if I really try, I could. Let me see if I can put that on the agenda for Thursday.


  2. people are marching on the streets again,
    they’re answering the call.
    people marching through the streets again –
    down into the city, and into the shopping mall.

    Shelby, thanks for the great poem! We may not all have trillions to throw around, but consumerism means we can all act like little corporate assholes consummating a hostile takeover — at least on the day after Thanksgiving. Guess we need more than one day of greed and gluttony now, so we extend it to our frenzied shopping orgy too. How have we transmuted what are nominally celebrations of gratitude and generosity into this ugly binge of
    self-indulgence and immediate gratification?What a country.

    And the Indians? They have no good reason to celebrate. But they may not want to forget what’s happened. Because our attitudes sure as hell haven’t evolved much, as far as I’ve noticed. Turkeys indeed. – Linda


    • Linda, haven’t you heard? Many stores will be open on Thanksgiving Day. Macy’s is open as is Wal-Mart, Kmart and I believe Kohl’s if I’m not mistaken and other stores, I’m sure. So, there will be no time to give thanks as the shopping season cannot wait until ‘Smack’Friday’! No mistype there as somebody, somewhere is gonna get the shit smacked out of them for getting in the way of some rabid shopper. I pity the employees.

      “And the Indians? They have no good reason to celebrate. But they may not want to forget what’s happened.”

      Oh, the Indians cannot forget, but of course they also cannot participate either since poverty, alcoholism and suicide is their present, past and future ‘thanks’ in part to those damn thankful ass christian pilgrims. They certainly spread the love to the Indians, didn’t they? Not really, they spread something alright, but it wasn’t ‘L-O-V-E’!


      • I know, I know – at this rate, the xmas shopping push will be starting in July before long. But you know, Thanksgiving day shopping may be a good thing, so folks don’t all zombie-out in front of football. They may even expend 3 or 4 calories as they waddle through the malls and wrestle each other for all that bright shiny schlock. For the families they love so much — no matter that they can’t stand to spend the day with them.

        One more thing, if I can’t run a damn smartphone, why should those squally rug-rats have them anyway? Kids these days are almost as lame and clueless as the parents who enable their precious little solipsists. – Linda


  3. Wow. Tubularsock thought xmas did start on the 4th of July. You mean it doesn’t Linda? Maybe that is why my red-white-and-blue tree is so dry. As for Thanksgiving like Tubularsock always says: Kill a Pilgrim for Christ!”


    • Tube, the merchants can fix your ‘dry tree’ problem REAL fast! Just run out on ‘Day before Ka-ching!’Day and get you a bright, shiny gold, pre-lit and decorated 30 ft. tree and you’re almost all set. After you get that baby situated, run back out and get stomped and trampled a few more times, get up, wipe the shoe prints off and get back into the fray! This is all for a good cause, the corporate bottom line is depending on you. Remember the donation box at Wal-Mart? This is YOUR chance to make a difference in how many millions a corporate CEO will write in on his Thanksgiving and Christmas bonus check. Remember how you figured out that $17 billion just does not go far these days? Oh wait! My bad! The donations box was so that the EMPLOYEES could donate to the company whore, I mean…store! Never mind, but still, do YOUR part in keeping America running! Consume! Consume and consume some more, consumer!!!!

      And since the Indians are all but wiped out, there’s only pilgrims left! Have at it!!


  4. No Black Pete, please try and care! Remember that some real nice mother lives in terror of her nice, sweet little Johnny who pulls wings off turkeys, but he’s so sweet when he’s asleep after having given everyone in the house, a concussion. You see, he has his good moments and they’re usually drawn out when he gets just what the hell he screams for! Little Johnny is only 6 but he is demanding a truck, no…not a Tonka toy truck and he won’t settle for a Ford F150, he wants a Cadillac Escalade EXT. It’s so pretty for him to look at! He found it on his smartphone before he broke it!

    So, remember to care on Thursday! Some people got it rough!!!


  5. Linda, I hear that they ‘waddle’ through Wal-Mart in their pajamas. I hope not ’cause I don’t want to see pictures of big butts turned up in big flannel PJs. I’m signing off on Thursday and Friday. Some things are just too much even for me!!!

    And Linda, don’t worry if you can’t use a smartphone. I’ll send Little Johnny over to your place to get ya up to speed! But I hope you’re a fast learner because Little Johnny has the attention span of well…Little Johnny, if ya know what I mean!! Just be prepared to duck! In fact, I would get ta practicin’! LMAO!!!


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