This Is Not The Life I Choose!


….and so love is not a warm bed,
nor is it socks and shoes
and I must dig in dumpsters.
But this is not the life I choose.

They shun me and they look away,
and I just shuffle by.
And when I settle in at night,
I shrug and start to cry.

No one could possibly know,
how much pain I shield from them
by simply looking at the ground,
while I hum a little hymn.

I hold a paper cup.
And I hope for just some change.
There’s a sharp, cold wind tonight,
and my rags, I rearrange.

Will I get noticed on the morrow,
with a welcome from humanity?
And when the shelter closes,
I’m just another absentee.

I’m a leper and a loser,
a reminder that life’s a bitch.
Who out here would notice me?
Most assuredly not the rich.

Written by,
Shelby I Courtland
© 2013 Shelby I. Courtland

6 thoughts on “This Is Not The Life I Choose!

  1. This reminds me of a story I just read. There was this bishop at some Mormon church who dressed up as a homeless man with the Hollywood makeup and all. He stood outside of his very own church just to see how his flock would treat a homeless person. He shocked when most of the congregation either ignored him or asked him to leave the property. Only few even bothered to listen and fewer actually gave him anything. So after this little he went into the church and asked for himself, of course he’s not there because I’m him, he later said.

    So made his way to the pulpit and revealed himself to be their bishop. There were gasps and one woman was sobbing uncontrollably. He then went on to preach a sermon on the giving to the less fortunate and helping all of Gods children. It would take them being shown how very christian they are not before the realize that most christian are full shit.

    I’m not homeless and I never have been, but I treat people like people. It’s not like it can’t happen to and I’m out there begging for change to eat.

    Thank you for the piece sis and please keep up the good work.


  2. I just had to post this as it so fits in with regards to making ONE of my points!

    A Mormon bishop who wanted to teach his flock a lesson about charity went to the extreme and enlisted a Hollywood-style makeup artist to transform him into a scruffy vagrant who then panhandled outside his church.
    “The majority of the people just ignored me and went to great lengths not to make eye contact,”
    Those who had shunned Musselman came up and confessed their shame. One woman said she was going to tell her grown children to donate anything they bought her for the holidays to a homeless shelter.

    This bishop underwent a transformation, was made up to resemble a ‘homeless’ person and of course, was shunned by the majority of his own congregation. Am I surprised? Hell no! If I have said it once, I have said it a million times that if their oh so beloved Jesus Christ was to show up, looking just as this bishop looked when he got himself made up to resemble a homeless person, that Jesus would. himself be shunned, and told to “get away from the front of their church,” exactly how the bishop of his own church was treated. That bishop knew what he would encounter from his congregation, he could NOT have been too surprised. And yet, those ‘christians’ sit up and listen to the ‘good’ word every Sunday, nod their head, say “Amen!” a few times and head right out the door and shun the first person resembling a vagrant that they come upon. So what ‘good’ does it do them to even head to church, much less sit there and quite obviously never hear a damn word that is preached? I rest my fucking case!

    As you can see HLJ, I was ALL over this like flies on shit!! I copied this from my poem, “A Child Was Born In Bethlehem,” as it fits in with that message as well.

    Thank you for pointing it out though as you see through that ‘christian’ bullshit, same as I do!


  3. Tubularsock asks: where is the moral high ground for a bishop to deceive those who trust him to prove a point. Making others feel ashamed is not a way to build actions toward good deeds. “Guilt” is the tool that religion uses to control the weak of mind.

    To do anything from guilt is not a reason to be helping others. You either understand that or you don’t.

    After reading this bishop’s trick, Tubularsock has stopped giving to the homeless because maybe all homeless are just bishops in homeless garb! How can I be sure?

    Consequently Tubularsock has also stopped giving to religious orders because maybe all religious orders are just dressed in religious orders garb! How can I be sure?

    Now, what is Tubularsock going to do with this stack of money?


  4. Tube, AGAIN! Touché! Man are you on the fucking ball today or what?! You must not have had much tryptophan! Exactly! This bishop was so in the wrong, it is ridiculous! Because as I’ve already stated, he knew what he would find and yet spent tons of money on getting a gasp!, Hollywood makeup artist to make him up to look like a vagrant. Why didn’t he just pay a ‘vagrant’ to do what he just did? Why not? Or is it that he wanted to capture the limelight all for himself by making his congregants feel small that they shunned their oh so beloved bishop.

    You are entirely correct when you state that ‘guilt is the tool that religion uses to control the weak of mind’. Not only the weak of mind are sitting up in church, but the hypocrites as well who really don’t even have a conscience for ‘guilt’ to even get stuck on. I have the most problem with the hypocrites who know damn well that there is no paradise that their stuck up ass is going to be sitting all up in, that is why they worship the materialistic shit that they amass here.

    Well, I am not going to stop giving to the homeless just because one of them might turn out to be piece of shit bishop and you’re not that mean either. That’s just your humor talking. As far as giving to religious orders, ha! You don’t think I’d have a problem with ANYONE NOT giving to ‘re(spit)gious’ orders do ya?

    What to do with all that money? Actually, since my ‘Church of the Holy Rollers’ is non-denominational and we actually abhor hypocrisy, we would be more than happy to use all that money of yours to buy Reverend ‘Give Me All You Got’ Courtland another island paradise since the good Reverend is well aware that there is NO heavenly paradise awaiting us on the other side of this here earthly realm that we all have to depart at some time. AMEN!! Now, make your check out to: Reverend ‘Give Me All You Got’ Courtland
    1620 Rodeo Drive
    Beverly Hills, CA 90210

    “…and the good Reverend will see to it that YOU enter into the Pearly Gates! ‘Bul-lee dat’! Hallelujah! ….and congregation! Pass the damn collection plate, 20 more times!!!! Damn it, I got to proceed with some more ass-kicking up in here. I get all decked out in homeless gear, panhandle and I get twenty dollars from you yahoos who tell me ‘ta get ta steppin’??!!! I’ll show you some high-steppin’!! Let me take off these 18″ stiletto heels and high step up somebody’s ass up in here!! I’ll show you what for, for treating me like dirt, uh..I mean, for treating the homeless like dirt!! It’s hammer time!!!!”


    • Thank you so much Reverend Courtland. Checks in the mail. Don’t spend too much time watching the mail box for delivery …….. why? I know you’d ask. Because idle hands are the devil’s play tools. Amen.


      • Excellent advice Tube, most excellent advice! And that is why I ‘play’ my flock like a fiddle. Oh, and I am still kicking ass all up in this here ‘palace of worship’ since they’ve obviously NOT been listening to the ‘good’ word as preached by me if they can still run out and ‘shun’ a homeless vagrant. This ‘good’ Reverend’s work is NEVER done!


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