Calm These Troubled Waters!


Where is Moses when we need him?
If he could but part the sea again
and calm these troubled waters,
thus freeing the tortured soul of man.

Oh, mine eyes have seen the pain
and felt the suffering of the poor.
No Promised Land for them,
just an endless, barren shore.

Oh Lord, look upon your servant
and give sustenance tonight.
Heal the sick and feed the hungry.
Set the many wrongs to right.

Throw the moneychangers out.
And give the widow back her mite.
Judge the wicked and the heathens,
may they never see your light.

Not a religious being am I,
And though I sin and come up short,
The devil owns the rich,
So let Hell be their resort.

Written by,
Shelby I. Courtland
©2014 Shelby I. Courtland

I don’t even want to hear it PEOPLE!! I have tried everything!

So, I call upon the Lord to hear my plea! Intervene and deliver us from the evils of capitalism, greed, vice, corruption, fracking, filthy water, Monsanto, politicians, disease and a world in chaos! Amen!

15 thoughts on “Calm These Troubled Waters!

  1. The congregation shall say…Amen!
    Well said my Sister in the faith. Problem is, ‘God’ is on vacation on the really far side of our Universe and isn’t paying any attention to the human condition. ‘God’ left no schedule as to when ‘God’ might return. Well doesn’t that just suck…


    1. Skulz, it sucks BIG time! But I think its me. I mean, I haven’t gone to church in decades. So, I’ve just sinned too much and haven’t confessed my sins to the Reverend and been given absolution. That’s just got to be it. It could not be what you suggest. We ALL know that God is omnipotent and is everywhere at once. He would not forsake us, surely? We just need to be patient. You’ve heard that patience is a virtue. Well..we’ll just ALL have to become ‘virtuously’ patient.

      *tick* *tock* *tick* *tock* …and we wait! Meanwhile, I need a drink.


      1. My Dearest Shelby:
        I grant unto thee absolution. Go and sin no more. “IF” God is omnipotent and omnipresent, well, God must be rather heartless. Which brings up that ‘other’ existential powerpoint question, “why is man born to suffer then die?” An answer of ‘why not’ is unacceptable. I am fully up to speed on the New Testament parameters of end times shit-to-ding and the fullness of all things. However given the suffering that our shared humanity is subjected to on a daily basis, God is either out to lunch or about as unmerciful as any ‘God’ could be.


      2. Once upon a time, in a kinder, gentler country I was a born-again Christian; I gave up religion for Lent one year and never went back!
        Actually, what really happened was that the born-again church I attended started a choir for very young children (6 and under) and my retarded son just happened to be 6 so I enrolled him. Everything went fine until the first time they sang in front of the congregation, and then I got a visit from all 3 ministers!!!! They said that Jon could continue to go to the practices but until he got better at singing he couldn’t sing in front of the congregation. Well, being a good born-again Christian mother I obeyed them and decided to pray about it. I prayed for weeks and then one day I got a wild hair … I wrote a letter and included Bible verses that fit; then I showed it to my husband and he said to put “cc:atty” at the bottom. As you can imagine, that really pissed off those great high muckety-mucks, but they let Jon sing in front of the congregation one more time, and then in their outstanding wisdom and unselfishness they disbanded the choir! What I learned from that is that someone who says they’re full of the love of Christ is probably just full of SHIT and I don’t need to listen to anyone that’s full of shit! 🙂 Now I’m a card-carrying, spell-casting, poppet using WITCH and I’m much happier than I was all those years as a Christian!


    1. I am afraid that I have to agree with you Dr. Bramhall. We are most definitely IN prison. We are fettered prisoners and the length of the fetters is based upon how much net worth we have. The fetters of some are so long that they’ve been given the illusion that they are free whereas others know that they are indeed, in prison as they can actually see the bars of their cages and are therefore, in no doubt as to where they are. Of course, some of us are pretenders, pretending that we’re holy and sanctified and upon finishing this little stint here, will move on to greener pastures when those pearly gates shall open. If it helps, let them delude themselves with that hope that they so desperately cling to. It makes being here easier for them to bear.

      However, I am at a loss as to explain why I am here because since I am so GOOD, what could I possibly have done to deserve this shit? My halo has never even slipped enough to require an adjustment. Oh, the unfairness of it all! I protest!! Where is the court of appeals, so that I may ‘appeal’ my sentence?

      Thanks Dr. Bramhall! I may even grace the doors of a church come Sunday. I shall make sure to stay well away from the Holy Water, just in case, ya know. *wink* *wink*


  2. Skulz, I cannot thank you enough for granting me ‘absolution’. The great weight of sin has been lifted off my shoulders and my step is ever so much lighter than before. I actually skipped right over a 6 foot snow drift, my sin load was SO like, gone! LMAO!!! The deer stopped in their tracks with such a look of wonder on their pointy little faces, that I could not help but burst into unrestrained laughter, whereupon, I sent the beauties off in every direction.

    “why is man born to suffer then die?”

    Since I am the former Reverend ‘Give Me All You Got’ Courtland of the Church of the Holy Rollers and I don’t remember seeing a skulz in the congregation, you are obviously not privy to my many uplifting, spiritual and inspiring sermonizings. Somebody should smack your hand. Bad, bad Skulz! AMEN!!

    Anyway, we are born to suffer and die because if we did not suffer, then how would we really appreciate heaven? I mean, if we had it so great here, we’d want to remain. There would be no need to depart Paradise in order to head to Paradise. What would be the point? So, we must suffer here so that we can know that though we suffer greatly, writhing in endless agonies of pain, toes and fingers falling off, arms and legs blown off by war machines, bloated bellies from lack of sustenance, getting run over by a sexting driver, head bashed all in, after we suffer these agonies, when we awaken, we will awaken to the delights of heaven.

    Eventually, you WILL get to heaven. The Lord will finally turn ‘his’ attention to your plight and you will receive relief and a pardon and the next thing ya know, into the Pearly Gates, ya go!! Just continue to be ‘virtuously’ patient, Skulz!

    But seriously, ‘why is man born to suffer then die’,? This happens because we must give ALL of our worldly goods to the so-called ‘religious’ orders so that they may pave our way to the delights of heaven and we suffer because we are such sinful creatures and must be taught a lesson. Though we are supposedly born of sin, we sinned not but yet we must suffer. The innocence of the lamb must be tested by fire and purified before receiving the blessings of heaven. And that concludes the sermon for the day! I hope this has ‘calmed any troubled waters’.


  3. Glory be. Shelby, you are always full of surprises. If god knows what’s good for her, she’d better pay attention now! Non-corporeal or whatever, those 18-inch stiletto heels of yours could really pack a wallop!

    And as Woody Guthrie would say,

    I hear that prayer and praying will change this world around …

    Will prayer change shacks to decent homes?
    Will prayer change sickness into health?
    Will prayer change hate to works of love?
    Will prayer give me my right to vote?

    Will prayer give jobs at honest pay?
    Will prayer bring stomachs full of food?
    Will prayer make the rich treat poor folks right?
    Will prayer take out the Ku Klux Klan?

    … If all these things my prayers can do,
    I’ll pray until I’m black and blue!

    Hell yes! Ouch. You folks do remind me why I was a bible-college dropout. What the hell was I ever doing there anyway? Shove me in the shallow water …

    At least, pass along some of that firewater, er, holy water. Maybe we can all reach absolution. – Linda


    1. Linda, alas, these are the left-over remnants of a former Sunday School teacher. I was brainwashed and it’s all coming back to me. Apparently, something has triggered the ‘holiness’ in me and it would escape and of course, I have ALL the answers, brainwashed Christian that I was/am/is/whatthehell/whoknows/huh? Anyways, I figured since the christians have ALL the answers, why not give it a go. As of today, still waiting as you can see from the news on ALL fronts. We have been abandoned and still we hold onto hope, for what else is there? Auk! I know!

      My newly completed pipeline from the U.S./Canadian border straight over to Champagne, France has been completed and it is environmentally, friendly. I mean, who could have a problem with nature’s fermented grapes? I certainly don’t. So, feel free to accept an open invite to the border and view the world’s first ALL natural pipeline. I call it “Chamcanerica!” The only thing in abundance here other than snow and ‘religion’ is the fermented grape!

      Long live the grape!!


      1. Bon Dieu! Now that’s one pipeline project we could really use. Maybe there is a god (Dionysus?) who loves us after all … Vive la belle France, vive la belle Shelby! Merci beaucoup for your generous offer! – Linda


  4. Avec le Champagne qui coule
    votre tube en bas…

    Qui soucie de ce que Moïse
    peut et ne peut pas faire ?

    Les bureaux de change ont besoin du travail
    Qui d’autre qu’eux peuvent faire les livres ?

    Le Seigneur, elle est ailleurs avec ballon en main
    Boire des toasts à tous damnés.

    Ce qui laisse Tubularsock gauche pour raconter l’histoire
    « poètes combat boire le champagne dans toute leur splendeur.


    With champaign flowing
    down your tube ….

    Who cares what Moses
    can and can not do?

    The moneychangers need the work
    Who else but them can do the books?

    The lord, she is elsewhere with flask in hand
    Drinking toasts to all the damned.

    Which leaves Tubularsock left to tell the story
    ‘bout poets drinking champaign in all their glory.


  5. Quel magnifique! Damn, I’m impressed. Shelby, you’re clearly doing something right here … Maybe the prayer thing works for you? … Or maybe it’s that fine pipeline … I promise you, nobody leaves poetic comments en français on my blog! Je bois à votre santé! – Linda


    1. Buvons à votre richesse et votre santé!

      LOL!! Linda, it’s the grapeline! The fermented grape even has me speaking in tongues, French, German, Bulgarian(is that a language?)and so many others especially after I’ve downed a few 1.5ltr flutes.

      Vive les trois mousquetaires!


  6. Wolfess, I wish that I could say how shocked I am. I am So very sorry that that happened to your son. Nothing the so-called religious hypocrites do, shock me. I have witnessed too much of their shit to believe any of the nonsense they spew. Their hypocrisy knows no bounds and to think that they have the nerve to look at others and point their holier-than-thou fingers and say who is going to hell or who even deserves to go to hell, is just beyond the wrong end of enough!! I call them out on their bullshit every single chance I get. They are so much worse than the people who just say that they believe in nothing. Even those who claim to be atheists treat people better than the so-called ‘christians’. Just saying the word ‘christian’ makes me want to take a long hot shower to get rid of the filth of that word.

    Unfortunately, I grew up in church because as you know, children have no say in what they can or can not do. I witnessed so much hate and intolerance, backstabbing, backbiting, favoritism and so forth and so on that when I finally came of an age where I could tell my mother that never again would I step foot inside another church, I did. And I have never regretted it.

    But to have them disband the choir to keep your little boy from singing with the choir was just SO ‘christian like’ that I am sure those who are responsible just know that their seat in heaven awaits them. That is how sick and twisted those heathens are.

    And once again, I am so very sorry that they did that to your little son. Just know, they’ll get theirs, never fear.


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