A Birthday Poem For Me!

happy birthday

My birthday’s the third of this month,
and twenty years old, I will be.
Don’t question this lie I just told,
’cause my age is a secret to me.

How soon a year does pass.
I just wanted to curl up and cry.
Sixteen has been gone so long,
and I hated to wave it goodbye.

I can’t even write a good rhyme,
for my eyes are misty and blue.
Now look, they’re quite puffy and red,
from the fact that my waistline just grew.

Oh no, I am losing my hair,
and I’m so much younger than you.
I’ve got almost all of my teeth,
but I can still bite an apple and chew.

Take me away for the day,
no Big Macs or Whoppers for me.
Pour me some bubbly delight,
I’ll be drunk when I turn forty-three.

Another year down the drain.
One minute you’re young,
and the next you are old,
and they tell me the fat lady’s sung.

I tell you, I’m not all that old,
though I feel some aches and pains.
It’s only because I’m not limber,
and I use not one but two canes.

So my birthday is October 3rd,
a day that I’ll never forget.
I was given my own credit card,
and I’ll never get out of this debt.

Oh to hell with the number of years,
that have come and gone so fast.
If life is a big ole test,
then this birthday will be unsurpassed!

Written by,
Shelby I. Courtland

As the years pass, I gotta make fun of the passage of time and getting another year older. I look at it this way, tis better to be able to look at daisies as opposed to being in the position of pushing them up for us to look at them! I write this today for tomorrow, I shall be deep in my birthday flute!! Cheers to everyone that shares a birthday on October 3rd and hey! It beats sharing one on Halloween! LMAO!!! And may the Oktoberfest begin!!

28 thoughts on “A Birthday Poem For Me!

  1. Years fly by so gaddang quick it leaves one’s head spinning. Hmmm, maybe that spinning is the result of birthday tequila. Whatever.
    Happy Birthday M’Lady and many many more be unto you. Time does fly when you’re having fun…


    1. Thank you Skulz! It seems only yesterday that I was celebrating my last birthday and with what’s going down all over the world, it’s best to get as much enjoyment out of each and everyone of them and that is why I decided this year to have fun with it because too much shit is just hitting the fan and for one day at least, I want to forget it and just enjoy myself.

      Again thank you for the birthday wishes! Bless your beautiful heart!
      Hugs, Shelby


      1. Well thank you! My Avatar is the new logo for One People’s Project, the anti-racist group we work with 🙂

        Have a wonderful day! I always loved it when birthdays fall on a Friday. Take a half day and treat yourself.


  2. @ The Lamp, well thank you for all that you and group do to shed light on the problem of racists in America. Unfortunately, you’ve got your work cut out for you, but at least you’re not undaunted by the sheer ignorance, hate and intolerance that abounds. I appreciate all that all of you do!

    …and though I am hindered in how much I can celebrate by my recent accident, I shall still endeavor to make this birthday, one for the history books and the photo albums. *wink*

    Thanks again!


  3. Richard, I am indeed honored! I am reading a book by an English author and I just absolutely adore the English. I’m hoping to visit there some day and Scotland too. And again, thank you so much. Cheerio! Oh, and I’m a cheeky bugger! LOL!! …and I’m gonna be a bleed’n drunk today!! Blimey!


  4. Another birthday poem from me to you:

    Know that…

    If I lose myself in the mists of nothingness,
    if I tremble with the longing of invisible horizons,
    if I imagine them and fill them with everything and nothing at all
    in order to feel their reality, their function,
    know that I do it not out of whim nor luxury nor reverie;
    I’m just trying to guess with the eyes of the flesh,
    in the immensity the ones of the soul contemplate,
    the purpose my heart presumes…

    And if I lose myself in the darkness of night,
    if stumbling I grope formless illusions,
    if I take them with insecure hands and hold them tight against my chest
    in order to shorten remoteness and vastness,
    know that I do it not out of blindness nor folly nor madness;
    I’m just trying to see them with the truth of the soul
    and find in them the lie imprisoning my life
    within the walls of this infinite solitude…

    And if I seem distant, absent,
    if I prefer silence and mute thoughts,
    if I harbour and nurture them in my unique and absurd way
    in order to face them, find what they are,
    know that I do it not out of pride nor vanity nor silliness;
    I’m just trying to know their meaning, and in them I seek the cause
    for unrest and emptiness and fear;
    the ultimate reason for life, after all…

    Many happy returns, dear Shelby, from your portuguese friend



    1. Dear, Dear Isabel(and what a pretty name that is), I don’t know what to say! This southern ‘mouth from the south’ has been struck speechless by your poem. You put my little 5th grade scribbles to shame. How can I ever hold my head up again? Your poem is breathtaking! And I have tears in my eyes!

      There are so many views of this post of mine and I was quite excited about how much attention, “A Birthday Poem For Me!” had garnered when after having read your poem, I now realize that the viewers were most likely drawn to your poem and word spread.

      I went onto your blog and again, I was disappointed in myself because I cannot understand your blog since I don’t speak the language. Alas, we Americans are so lazy. The majority of us refuse to even learn different languages and then when we come upon an individual here in America that speaks 9 different languages, we gape at them in utter astonishment. Even when we travel, we prefer to hope that there are some who speak English. And now I must count myself as one of the lazy Americans that does not take the time to learn the language of others, nor to study other cultures.

      Oh Isabel, I thank you once again and beg you to forgive me for being so lazy for not even attempting to again, learn the language of others. Here you understand and write English so well and your birthday poem for me is so hauntingly beautiful and here I sit feeling like a stooge and again, there is no comparison of my childlike kindergarten poetry to what you have written. However, to be fair to myself, on another post, I did in fact state that I was a ‘kindergarten reject’ so that could explain much.

      Again, words fail me in attempting to describe the feelings your poem evoked in me. I have never felt so honored and so ashamed at the same time.

      Bless your beautiful soul, Dear Isabel and thank you so very, very much!


    1. Thank you Rajiv! And I am so glad that WP got its act together as I’ve been seeing a lot of ‘bee bop’ stuff lately. It has been most disconcerting. But thank you so much for taking the time to send me a birthday wish. It is much appreciated, believe me!


  5. Shelby, Well obviously, you’re a Libra — balanced and tranquil and all that. (Who says astrology is bunk?)

    Happy birthday, little sister! Enjoy your day, and pace yourself — we need to stick around for the long haul, since getting this world straightened out just might take a while, even for you and me. – Linda


    1. LMHOAO = Laughing My Hung Over Ass Off! ‘Balanced and tranquil’ eh? BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I have smacked the shit out of astrology and kicked its ass past the stars in our galaxy. I am as unbalanced as anyone can be(I’m NOT braggin’, just sayun) and as for ‘tranquil’? Fucking fuggit about it! Even in traction, I managed to show that I still got what it takes to be the center of attention and how! Someone managed to get me dressed to the nines in my black bolero with my black lace bra and black mini skirt and black seamed hose and even managed to put my 18″ stiletto heels on me and did the champagne flow oh yes the champagne flowed.

      Oh Linda, you are terrific and you know ya are! I thank you so much for the birthday wish and I am roaring with laughter! OUCH! My poor, poor hung over heard! Oh darn, Linda, I didn’t do as you suggested and ‘pace’ myself. Unfortunately, my 1.5 liter champagne flute does nothing but encourage overindulgence. Sigh and now back to “getting this world straightened out,” oh geesh! That, I think is an overwhelming task in and of itself but I have an idea. I think I need to return to my former occupation as the good Reverend ‘Give Me All You Got’ Courtland especially since we have so many ‘christian’ heathens running around loose and endangering everyone else. So, I feel that I must get back into the religious wars because before I can combat evil, I must embrace the very evil that I shall endeavor to conquer. So, look for the GOOD Reverend to be BAUK! LOL!!

      Again, thank you so much for the birthday wishes Sister Linda! And don’t worry, nothing worse will happen to Sister Linda than could possibly happen when you attended my wedding! LMAO!!! I sincerely hope that you are quite recovered by now!!

      Take care Linda and love from,
      Reverend Shelby ‘Give Me All You Got’ Courtland, “Amen and Hallelujah!, pass the collection plate!” hee hee!

      I am SO bad!


  6. Have a really Happy Birthday Shelby any time we can put another year in our books is good enough for me. By the way I can sympathize with the aches and pains, I turned 50 this year and I notice them a bit more each day. Oh well like you said, it beats pushing up daisies. Enjoy yourself my friend. 🙂


    1. Ahhh, bless your 50 years young heart Dom! Aches and pains, don’t mention ’em. I got ’em a plenty, believe me! Yes, it does indeed beats the pushing up of daisies. I’ll take this above ground gig any day over the other.

      …and Dom, notice the play on words for the title, “A Birthday Poem FOR Me” LOL! This was sort of like my poem, “Resolutions I Resolve To Keep.” I am only 16. In fact, I have a fake ID that lets me purchase my preferred specific liquid substance that I use for medicinal purposes only. We’ve got quite an extensive forgery network here and, keep this on the down low, but they do a wonderful job of fake passports and fake driver’s licenses. Can you imagine this? Chipotle has 1,200 employees here and over 700 of them are undocumented workers or in other words, here illegally and would ya know it, Chipotle NEVER knew it! I tellya, those fake IDs, they look more real than the real ones. LMAO!! Oh damn, I think the Feds are knocking at my door. I know THAT knock well. I am finally going to get my wish and be deported. Guadalajara!, here I come! YAAAAAAAAY!!!

      Oops! Gotta run Dom!! LOL! Thank you so much for that wonderful birthday wish!


    1. Thank you Dr. Bramhall and it does indeed! When I think about so many people in Syria and Iraq and Gaza and Yemen and Pakistan and Afghanistan having lost their lives, I feel grateful and thankful that I am here to bounce foolishness around another year and hopefully many, many, many more. The silly poems I write are nothing in comparison to what the majority of the world’s population is going through. Would that I could do something about it, but if I concentrate solely on the issues of today, I’d need a straightjacket, quick!

      So, again, thank you Dr. Bramhall for the birthday wishes!


    1. Everybody! Read Jeff’s comment! This is what I’m talking about! Jeff, has almost posted my REAL age. He is just off by 4 years, but I can forgive him for that! But he was SO close that this next ‘hair of the dog’ sip is in honor of Jeff almost getting it right! You go with your bad self! LOL!!

      Jeff, thank YOU so much for taking the time to send me birthday wishes. Muchas gracias! Did I get that right? ‘Cause I have a feeling that I’m heading to Guadalajara real soon. Apparently, my travel plans are going to be out of my control. Hope the weather’s good!

      Thanks again Jeff! And I hope all is well with you!


  7. Oh shit …….. Tubularsock missed the party. So if Jeff is off by 4 years? Sweet 16, Shelby? Better not be ……. or you are drinking the bubble illegally! And it doesn’t matter anymore anyway because you are “one day older and deeper in debt” as the song goes.
    Hope you had a good day of birth ……..


    1. Thank you darling Tube and remember, I have a fake ID! It cost a mint, but it was worth it. I am forever Sweet 16, according to my ID that I got forged in order to flash at men that attempt to try something and I’m not interested. I simply show them my fake ass ID that shows that I am 16 and they haul ass when I start screaming for the cops claiming that they are attempting to molest a minor. It works every time!


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