First Edition: The Unedited True Edition of Black History

 

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Introduction: First of all, forget everything that you have never read in the non-existent history books about Black History as this book will replace no books on Black History.

 

One day, while sailing the oceans blue, pale skinned creatures happened upon the shores of a most beautiful land, filled with the beautiful dark ones. The beautiful dark ones were prized for their obvious beauty, gracefulness and strength since the pale skinned creatures hid behind giant lions while watching the beautiful dark ones as they ran and jumped and danced and stomped. Once the lions moved gracefully aside and the pale skinned creatures were no longer hidden from the view of the beautiful dark ones, the beautiful dark ones were very much afraid as they had never seen such pale skins before. They were overcome with awe and wonder and so they immediately ceased their dances and jumps and timidly walked over to touch the golden locks of the pale skins.

 

And as the two began to get to know one another over the tea and crumpets that the pale skinned creatures provided, it was like they had been waiting on meeting one another for ages. The tribal dialects of the beautiful dark ones were much like the forked tongued speech of the pale creatures and so communication between the two was possible. The pale skins communicated to the beautiful dark ones their need to acquaint them with their god and for the desire of the pale skins to see that the beautiful dark ones were accepted into heaven as perceived by the pale ones. This was met with approval from the beautiful dark ones and a church was soon erected and a sermon was preached whereupon, the beautiful dark ones immediately began to light a bonfire, gather around it and chant in some mysterious and strange tongue. The pale skins quickly made it known to the beautiful dark ones that this was not acceptable behavior as their god did not approve of such conduct. The beautiful dark ones felt that they were being admonished and graciously asked the pale skins to leave their land whereupon the pale skins threw themselves at the feet of the beautiful dark ones and begged them to come with them to a place of even greater beauty where the sun shines both day and night upon fields of amber grain waving in the breeze as far as the eye can see and where mountains of majestic proportions beckon and summon one to scale lofty heights and to then descend down to fruited plains; this land was called, America!

 

The pale skins told the beautiful dark ones that they would live in the finest homes, eat and drink from containers made of delicate bone china and crystal and then they would gaze upon the savior that came to earth to save all souls from eternal damnation and forever live in mansions in the sky and that there would be no need for witch doctors as medicine was free for all in this land of opportunity and that there were other dark skinned people there that would welcome them with open arms just as they too had welcomed the pale ones. “Why not come to this new and wonderful and different paradise?” the pale ones asked. “Why not board our ships that are equipped with every luxury imaginable for your pleasure? Tables adorned with fine cloth await you, heaped with the choicest meats and fruits and other delicacies too deliciously tempting to be denied.”

 

This was met with much enthusiasm by the beautiful dark ones as they talked amongst themselves and thought to only go for a visit as they knew that they would one day miss their home and wish to return and so they boarded the beautiful vessels and they sat at the fine tables covered in rich cloth and ate the freshest meats and swam in pools shaped like sea shells. The pale ones waited on the beautiful dark ones, hand and foot; seeing to their every need and making sure that they lacked for nothing. Many months passed and finally, the lookout called, “Land ho!” There was much rejoicing for the long voyage was over and the beautiful dark ones were glad to finally find solid ground beneath their feet once again and to see this glorious new land that the pale ones had spoken so glowingly of.

 

As the ship docked, the pale ones escorted the beautiful dark ones to shore and then a strange thing occurred, the pale ones disrobed and begged the beautiful dark ones to inspect them for blemishes and flaws, bad teeth and bunions. The beautiful dark ones were bewildered. They had no clue as to what to look for as they did not know what would be expected of the pale ones. The pale ones then explained to the beautiful dark ones that they needed them to help, temporarily, with their plantations which they described as virtual cities that sustained themselves by making and planting everything that was needed for the people to live on. The pale ones beseeched the beautiful dark ones to inspect them so that those of the pale skin that were more highly valued because of their flawlessness could toil alongside the beautiful dark ones for they were truly wondrous and flawless in beauty; a joy to behold.

 

And so it goes, the pale ones labored alongside the beautiful dark ones in perfect harmony with one another. At the end of each day’s nine to five shift, both the pales ones and the beautiful dark ones would sit on the porch and laugh and share punch and joke about the heat and the flies and watch the crops that they had planted together, grow. They all got along beautifully with nary a harsh word uttered between the two, nor was there ever a fight amongst them. And when the beautiful dark ones decided that it was time to go back from whence they came, ocean liners were put at their disposal to return them to their native land and as they disembarked, they were welcomed back into the bosom of their loving family and everyone lived happily ever after.

 

The End.

 

I am so glad that I stumbled across this edition of Black History because now I realize that things were not as bad as what I had not read in earlier history books that did not include Black History in them. I was under the mistaken impression that African chiefs had sold other tribes’ slaves into bondage to the whites. I was not told how the whites came to be in Africa in the first place, I just took history’s non-word for it that the whites had a legitimate and humanitarian reason for being in Africa. So, it does my heart good to get the real reality and truth as to how Black people came to be in America, but when I look around today, I am unable to see how if we once got along so well, we can’t seem to get back to that. Hmmm…. Something else to ponder, I guess. Oh well, history is not supposed to be perfect, just true!

 

And as you can see, I so love the truth!!!

 

37 thoughts on “First Edition: The Unedited True Edition of Black History

  1. Reblogged this on Deconstructing Myths and commented:
    Move over Howard Zinn…there’s a new historian in town and her name is Shelby Courtland. The only thing missing is a big feast filled with all of the native crops the beautiful dark ones taught the pale skins to grow. Bravo, Shelby!

    Like

    • ROTFL!! Jeff, thank you SO much for your comment and most definitely for the reblog. Your blog is sending so many people this way, I am quite wide-eyed with wonder! And the hits just keep on coming. Apparently, quite a few people were not aware of the ‘TRUE’ edition of Black History and how Black people first came to be in America!

      I found this ‘edition’ in an extremely dusty corner of a garage sale and I just had to post it here. The author, of course, is unknown. *wink* *wink* LOL!

      But Jeff, about those crops, the beautiful dark ones were to sit back and enjoy themselves and get stuffed…I mean get fed on tea and crumpets, remember? hee hee

      Jeff, again, thank you SO very much!

      Like

    • Dr. Bramhall, if I ever recover from the accident, I will try to make it up on a stage, but right now, I can’t even hold a microphone for very long! I’m working on it! Bless your heart! You’ve told me before that I need to take to the stage and I procrastinated and now I’m on the injured list. This just goes to show that if you’re called upon to do something, better hop to it ’cause we never know what’s coming.

      Thank you for your very kind comment Dr. Bramhall! I was only seeking the TRUTH! LOL! And I think I found it!

      Like

    • LOL! Susan, don’t feel bad. I still can’t stop laughing over this one even though I wrote it. I’m a mess, I am, I say! Your comment along with all the others have made my entire day AND night! I am getting a really, really big head here!

      Thank you so much for taking the time to stop by and to comment. It is much appreciated, believe me!

      Like

  2. Not only is the content up to your usual entertaining standard. I am impressed by the way you have written this… It’s very very well done. Personally, I can’t wait to see more of this type of writing… I don’t know if you’ve read Ben Okri’s Starbook – it’s definitely not for everyone, but you were able to evoke a similar sense within me as that book. The truth within the myths.

    Like

    • Robyn, this one has actually been stored on my computer for awhile. I was hesitant about posting this one and then I thought, “what the hell!” And I hit that publish button. Remember on your blog how we kind of touched on this subject of whether we felt comfortable about, ‘to publish or not to publish’ and here I go.

      I am absolutely floored by the support, the attention and the comments that this one has garnered.

      And thank you so much for your critique of this one. Again, I am over the moon and doing cartwheels, thanks to you and everyone else. When we write, this is exactly what we hope for! Thank you, again! I must check into this Ben Okri’s Starbook. Sounds interesting, to be sure!

      Liked by 1 person

      • When I wrote that post it was a wish and a call to myself, my brothers and sisters to step it up a notch… What you were sitting on here. You have done the same thing, in a more eloquent and thoroughly entertaining way. Starbook broke my heart so deeply, and at the same time, it gave me sincere pride in my african genes, and an understanding that we will come through this time of darkness and bringing that future to our now is worth every ounce of our perseverance. Stay strong, enjoy the support, you are a standard bearer and a gift… and you always make me laugh my head off!

        Like

    • So Tube, do you think I should run it by Sony Entertainment first? I mean, since they hyped up the “Interview,” it became a Christmas holiday season hit, so they could probably do the same for this one. And you remember that other script I wrote and so if I come with 2 scripts in hand, one of them should make the cut! LOL

      Tube, thank you so much! I appreciate your comment!

      Like

  3. Shelby, So THAT’S how all this really happened! Who knew? Well, duh, obviously YOU knew. Thanks for letting us in on the real story.

    And thanks for providing such a fine post in the process, as ever. I hesitate to ask, but … will you have a cameo role in the movie? Or what the heck, you could easily be the star! Don’t forget all us little people once you go big-time! – Linda

    Like

    • Linda, don’t you know by now that I know everything! LOL!! But really, I just happen to stumble across this in a garage sale. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it. I seem to always find extremely old and historic books and letters detailing great historic events. And since I’m such a gossip, I can’t keep anything to myself. It must see the light of day and here it is!

      If I am asked to participate in the movie, as you all know, I am an extremely ‘modest’ person and so of course I will insist that I have a mere cameo appearance. I’m never one for ‘hogging the spotlight’. I am more of a ‘behind the scenes’ kinda girl. But of course, if they were to ask me to star in the show, I would be obliged to go for it, especially if I was perfect for the role. And since you know how ‘even tempered’ I am, there would be no storming off the set and tiffs with other actors and impossible demands; that sort of thing. I would be good as gold and highly likeable. I do not expect any ‘threats to strangle me until I turn blue’. I have such a lovely temperament. I’ve got to stop because I am nauseating myself over these blatant and outrageous lies! LMAO!

      Linda, I’d need to stay off the set! We all know that but never fear, I would never forget my most faithful followers. You’d all get the best seats in the house for the premier screening and for the after party.

      Bless your heart Linda and thank you so much for that wonderful comment! I am deeply touched and no, not in the head. LMAO!! I am SO bad!

      Liked by 1 person

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