I Used Ashley Madison!

ashley madison

I got caught as a cheater,
 but I’m not a wife beater.
I used Ashley Madison.
And I had sex with Allison.

What’s so wrong with that?
The wife is always tired.
My kids get on my nerves.
So, a woman, yes, I hired.

Am I getting a divorce?
I don’t think I will.
The wife doesn’t work.
When has she paid a bill?

Marriage ain’t about sex.
It’s a mere formality.
We just need it legal
 to have a family.

I don’t make the rules.
I just play the game.
I paid to keep it secret.
And now, I face the shame.

Sift through the dirt
 and you will find me.
I’m a randy, horny bastard,
and that’s what I’ll always be!

I sit here surfing the net
looking for a new site.
The Lord knows what I need.
I need a woman for tonight!

Written by,
Shelby I. Courtland
©2015 Shelby I. Courtland

Now you can search the Ashley Madison cheaters list

The stolen database of 32 million people who used cheating website Ashley Madison has made its way to the Web. And it’s easily searchable on several websites.

Just plug in a name or email address, and you’ll find out if someone who signed up for the service.

LMAO! This is SO damn funny, I just had to have a go at it. I wrote this from the man’s perspective, but ladies, we all know that you’re on the list too. Bad girl, baaaaad girl! Fellas, we know you baaaad! ROTFLMAO! Anybody actually headed for divorce court yet? Remember, it’s cheaper to keep ‘er! LMAO!!

9 thoughts on “I Used Ashley Madison!

  1. 32 million and those are just the ones that got caught. Don’t anybody work anymore? Tubularsock is tired just thinking about it if you add up the overtime ……. wow.


    1. Tubularsock, but, but, but, they ARE working! They are working on cheating! Doesn’t that count as work? LMAO!

      My profile on Ashley Madison has been revealed. It reads:

      “Sexy nymphomaniac looking for a well-hung, or in other words, Black monster dick to pleasure me. Must be prepared to be my two-hour lunch feast. Must be absolutely discreet, clean, disease-free, drug free and deep voiced. I want a manly man that knows how to please a ‘freak in bed’. My stage name, uh…I mean, my name is Sex Kitten and I can purr like you’ve never heard the sound of purring before. “Purrrrrrrrr!” Also, I scratch and claw, so be prepared to explain to your significant other just where the marks on your throat, back, arms and legs came from. I also growl and roar! If you think that you can handle me, hit me up, lover, I’m waiting! “GRRRRRRRRR!”


      Hey Tubularsock, there’s a line out the door!

      Thank you for your comment!


    1. Tony Blair? Did you say, Tony Blair? Get outta here! It’s just got to be a mistake, it’s just got to be. Prime Ministers, ex or otherwise would never so demean themselves. I mean, ALL politicians have such pristine, untainted backgrounds. They stand solidly on moral high ground, able to preach to us lesser mortals on the evils of the flesh. Surely, there must be some mistake. LMAO!!

      War criminal is right! Blair and Cheney should be each others sex partner. They have SO much in common. Throw Bush, Obama, Rumsfeld, Rice, Power together and talk about an orgy, geesh, they’d peel the paint right off the wall with their goings on. But, STILL, I wouldn’t pay to see THAT show!

      Thanks for the heads-up Skulz! My readers love to stay informed and dare I say, “on top of things?” LOL!


  2. The whole thing sounds like a powerful argument against marriage as an institution. As far as I’m concerned, neither the church nor the state has any business in my bedroom. Looks like 32 million people agree, though they don’t want to admit it publicly.


    1. Well, Dr. Bramhall, I admit it publicly, I am totally AGAINST marriage of ANY kind. It doesn’t work. It is purely a formality, a contract. What’s ‘love’ got to do with it?, as Tina Turner so crooned. Nothing, that’s what. The majority of married people absolutely hate and despise each other. Oh my bad! That was MY marriage, but somehow, over this, I don’t think that I was in the, dare I say, ‘minority’?

      32 million cheaters caught with their pants and panties down, so to speak, and that’s not even the tip of the iceberg, so again, what is this thing called, ‘marriage’ all about? Once again, I say, “a formal way to legalize the kiddies that result from copulation and a mere contract for services rendered. I cook, clean, raise the kids and sometimes, give him sex and his job is to bring home the money so that I can get it done. What’s love, but a four letter word. I know, I am such a pessimist!

      Thank you once again, for another spot on comment!


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