“Oh Dear, Bubba Dear!”

bubba dear and his flag2

 

As a southerner, I am neither appalled nor am I outraged over what Bubba Dear has done. ‘Homegrown’ terrorists like Bubba Dear are a dime a dozen here in the land of the stupid and the afraid; better known to most of you as AmeriKKKa.

Bubba Dear is giving us Amerikkkans, a bad name and that is a fact. I mean, for goodness sake, we just finished gorging ourselves on dead turkeys and now Bubba Dear comes along and makes a mockery of our ‘thankfulness’ over this Thanksgiving weekend. What a way to finish out this “We are all thankful for your bounty and for your blessings Oh Lord God on high and as we celebrate how thankful we are to be with friends and family, we look forward to the holiness of Christmas and the Christ child’s virgin birth yada yada yada. Damn! I just gagged my own damn self over that pile of horseshit! But thankfully, there’s that word again, ‘thankful’, thankfully we’ve got Bubba Dear to remind us just how thankful we ought be. I mean, here he comes ‘a riding in on his big white steed….uh…I mean, in his pickup truck just a gunning fer those awful sinners down at the Planned Parenthood clinic and snakes alive, Bubba up and kills a pole-eesmun and he don’t even get hisself full of bullet holes; he ain’t shot so many daggone times that he’s a looking like Swiss cheese. And the cops even stopped long enough to give us a word on why Bubba Dear commenced to killing folks at the Planned Parenthood Clinic. He was, according to the cops, upset about fetal parts selling. Even though it weren’t no fetal body part of any of Bubba Dear’s inbred offspring, he was still all het up over it and since he had been reading that magazine called, Southern White Supremacy Terrorism”, well Bubba Dear just got all sorts of crazy ideas and since all of us in the south and evuhwhere else in AmeriKKKa got at least 25 guns, well, it weren’t no problem a’tall fer Bubba Dear to pick amongst his cache and get ta shooting.

We is all surprised like, ’cause this don’t happen in Amerikkka on a regular basis. We is too busy going on and on about dat dar ISIS, which us in the south thought was a goddess, but we is catching up with the rest of the world and even though “The South Will Rise Agin!” we gone see to it that fetal body parts don’t get sold. Bubba Dear was just doing his patriotic duty by protecting ALL Amerikkkans agin the gubmint law that states that wimmins has the rights to kill bābeez! Now, don’t mine Bubba Dear’s lack of an edumacasion and the fact that Bubba Dear considers hisself ta be filled with the supremes ’cause he feels that he is supreme to Black folks. I’m gonna keep this clean and it is real hard ta do so since I just cum from a Klan meeting muself. I dressed in ‘white’ face ’cause I’m doing an article on ‘White Supreme Groups Who’s Who’. I must say that I certainly appreciate Bubba Dear here ‘outing’ hisself in ‘Who’s Who’ so’s I can check him off muh list since he is gonna be incarcerated fer a few days. Just long enough fer his comrade terrorists to ‘Go Fund’ him some bale monies. Don’t mine muh spelling. We ain’t too brite down here. Hell! Y’all see how Bubba Dear was living. He weren’t never one fer food stamps seeing as how dat dar is a gubmint run program and terrorists like Bubba Dear is agin a’seeking help especially since he said that Obama was gone personally brung him his food stamps if’n he applied fer dem. He said, “I ain’t abowt ta haf no nigger cum to my hawse and hand me no goddamn food stamps. I’d just as soon as hunt fer berries and shoot me a possum or two.”

But now that Bubba Dear has committed this heinous crime dat he don’t think is a crime, he’s gonna get fed by the very gubmint he was hell bent on being non-compliant to. Ain’t that something? Now, I gots to tell Bubba Dear’s homeys that he ain’t gonna be home fer supper tuhnight ’cause he’s  a dining in the big hawse. Dey should a told Bubba Dear to hold off of doing dat at least til after the Thanksgiving holeeday.

I want to say in closing that we is all thankful that Bubba Dear was cawt and dat he is where he belongs. However, please to consider that Bubba edumacated hisself and the only book dat he had was ‘See Dick Run’. Now, can you at least sympathize with the fact that his brain potential was nevuh fully realized? Can you come to terms with the fact that Bubba Dear thought that he was supreme? Unfortunately, dare are many mo Bubba Dears out dare and dey is gonna go off on a rampage and keel some folks.  Dey is worse den ISIS! So wave a webel flag for Bubba Dear tuhnight and say it wif me, “The Sawth Weel Rize Agin! Stop the selling of fetul bawdee pawts!” Now, ain’t we all ‘thankful’?

27 thoughts on ““Oh Dear, Bubba Dear!”

    • Thank you Dr. Rex for the reblog! I sincerely appreciate it! Sigh! The beat goes on and on and on and here we are worried about ISIS. We have to look no further than our own backyard to find a ‘terrorist’ lurking. We never learn!

      Thanks again!

      Liked by 1 person

      • I’d say Bubba dear mawt be uh terrrerist if’n his ah-que was ovah 90, but all’n yas has ta do is tak a gewd hawd look at ‘im ta reeeelize his ah-que idn’t anywere neah 90!

        And it certainly was gentlemanly of all those cops not to make him into swiss cheese, but hey, Bubba dear is just a poor, old deranged SONOFABITCH that SHOULD HAVE BEEN MADE INTO SWISS CHEESE!

        Liked by 1 person

      • I’d say dat you is write Wolfess! With a ah-que undur 90, well dat don’t bode well fer the feller dat’s claiming it. I mean, what kin we espek frum sumbodee wif dat low sco. His aptutuud test was a wash and dat ain’t no lie!

        I muself, thinks dat Bubba Dear shood haf bin feeled wif bullit holes, but it weren’t up tuh me. mo’s dee pitee!

        And as deranged as that bastard looks, he certainly should have been shot at least twice! If he’d a been Black, please!!! We know the deal!

        Thank you for your comment Wolfess. It was right on time! LOL! I loved it!

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      • Ah tank ya kawndly, Miz Shelby! 🙂

        It seems like every time I go to my favorite news sites they have more news coming out about Laquan McDonald and that Van Dork that shot him. I mean, for a cop that was wearing a bulletproof vest and was in the company of 5 other terrorists-in-blue there was absolutely NO excuse to shoot this kid even ONCE! Today there’s an article about how there’s a video showing the pigs erasing that 86 minutes off the BK surveillance camera — not only are the pigs terrorists, they’re at least 2 standard deviations below the mean!

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    • Yep! There he is in ‘living color’ Leslie! And he is staring at exactly what he has been staring at his whole life. And I am sure that in prison, he is staring at plenty of tattoos of that very same vile and putrid abomination. Like I said, “Who needs ISIS?” We’ve got plenty AmeriKKKan born ‘terrorists just crawling and slithering around.

      Thank you for your comment Leslie! I like the new look!

      Liked by 1 person

    • Ain’t it though Dr. Bramhall? I mean, they’re busy locking up people who are uncovering the dirty shit that goes on on farms where animals are contained for mass food production. We know for a fact that the USDA ain’t about shit when it comes to protecting what the public eats because look at how many times we hear about food recalls, especially meat. Ain’t no gubmint official minding the goddamn store ’cause like you say, they are too busy turning the screws on ‘vegan and animal rights groups’ AND also locking up nuns that bust wide open the fact that there is no real security measures in place to safeguard all of that nuclear shit that is destroying this planet. Meanwhile, the bastard heads-of-state are postulating over climate change while Fukushima is most likely still a huge ass problem.

      I’ve long since given up on trying to make sense out of anything and I’ve just decided to play the fool!

      I thank you for that spot on comment Dr. Bramhall!

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  1. Shelby, Hell yes, we are certifiable, no question — meticulously filtering out gnats while blithely swallowing GMO camels without a hiccup. Reminds me of my sister-in-law, who eats every form of junk dessert known to Cool Whip, but won’t drink a drop of tapwater. Not that tapwater is all it should be, but what the hell does she think bottled water is, not to mention the damn plastic it comes inn? Never mind, I need to do a serious rant on bottled water someday, but not here, sorry.
    My only excuse is … I am deeply shocked, chagrinned andmortified … maybe I shouldn’t admit this, even to you … I mean, who knew I was so woefully under-gunned, not even close to our proud national average? It’s sad but true — I don’t have anything like 25 weapons here in my all-american tarpaper shack. How can I ever hold my head up at all the tea party/confederate widows/anti-abortion/jesus loves me/anti-immigrant/anti-muslim/anti-intelligence meetings?Oh the shame of it all! My budget’s on the skimpy side with the looming holidays and all, but I just have to see if uncle Vinnie can fix me up with a few assault weapons, a couple rrocket launchers, and the odd drone or two, before the neighbors find out! Probably tubularsock’s emporium could overnight anything I want, but I’m not ordering more till I get my backordered shit. But again, I digress.
    Thanks for your excellent post … and keep your powder dry. – Linda

    Liked by 1 person

    • Your problem, Linda, is that I don’t believe that you are an ‘official’ southerner. Now, we is given guns at birth. The reason for this is because we’ve got to hunt for food ’cause our folks are tending stills back up in the hills somewhere and they ain’t got time to nurse us since moonshine calls day and night.

      I was hunting when I was two years old. I told you before that we is lumberjacks by the time we’ve cut our baby teeth. So-called ‘survivalists’ ain’t got nothing on us.

      And hey! Don’t be too concerned about your lack of firepower. If you’re ever in my neck of the woods, and Lawd knows I’m in the woods, I got yo back! And I can even give you some of my firepower and not even miss it! And if you’re never in my neck of the woods, before the shit in this world drives you crazy, head to a gun shop and buy some heat and pack it! Conceal and carry, Linda, conceal and carry.

      Also, about your dear sister-in-law, she’ll be alright. She just sounds a bit eccentric. There are plenty folks just like her, a wee bit peculiar.

      And of course Tubularsock will have whatever you need. I truly believe that Tubularsock is as old as the hills. He was, at one point in time, a traveling salesman, and most likely, a Tinker. You also know that buying from Tubularsock can drain an account, quick. So, use caution and I am sure that you remember that you had to caution me about handing Tubularsock, a blank check. I am still ‘thanking’ you for the heads-up on that!

      Linda, I seriously thank you for that great comment! It made me laugh. I know that this is serious, but sometimes, I just have to let go and run with it. Thanks again Linda!

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      • Me, not an “official southerner”? Me? Shelby, that hurts me! Because it’s true, technically, I do hail from the cold side of the Ohio River, but not by much. And my paw’s family’s from Kentucky, like every second soul in these parts. My uncle’s first after-school (or instead-of-school) job as a kid wasn’t a paper route, he minded the neighbor’s stills. They moved to Ohio before my dad could inherit the chore … and I think he still resents it. We were uppity hillbillies though, so I didn’t hunt, but I went with my aunt gathering “sang”, and I was raised on pinto beans and cornbread. My best friend in grade school later confided that she could barely understand my accent in first grade. Any reasonable person would demand my full birth certificate before conceding I’m not an official southerner! But alas, I’m more than close enough for comfort — just not sufficiently attuned to the rich southern culture to have my fair share of guns! I’ll work on it though! And maybe someday, I’ll even learn to eat boiled okra without gagging. If that’s absolutely necessary.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Sakes alive! Why I’d a never believed it if my own eyes didn’t see it! Linda’s folks operated a GASP ‘still’. I always knew you was a classy lady Linda, but I had no idea how classy! Why that right there is an impressive pedigree. You ’bout to run circles around me and here I was just a swelling my chest out over MY exemplary relations and yours has got mine beat by a mile and a half!

        I declare Linda! You always got ta out do me! I guess I’m gonna haf ta slap you wif muh glove and cawl you out. Yo chawce of wupons Linda. Will it be pistols or swords? Shall we be the first dueling women in history or has this already been done? And I insist on wearing my 18″ stiletto heels. LMAO

        Linda, I’m just funning wif ya! You know I think the world of you! And THAT is the truth!

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  2. Oh shit! I do not do duels … though I bet they could make a heck of a cable series with dueling females (in fancy anachronistic “period” costumes, no doubt), if folks ever tire of mud wrestling and snooping in strangers’ storage lockers. No, we Fredericks are drinkers and talkers, not what you’d call accomplished fighters! Besides, I do not brawl with comrades — save our strength for our serious struggles!
    As for classy, your champagne pipeline has to trump even the best sour mash. Either way, let’s drink to the better world we are both fighting for!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. A duel, really? Oh shit, this would not be good! I know duels were part of our great southern heritage and all … But the thing is, we Fredericks are drinkers and talkers, not what you would call accomplished fighters. So … I do not do duels, as I feel sure they could be most hazardous to my health. (Although, I could see making a heck of a cable series featuring lady duelists in gaudy pseudo-period costumes, if folks ever tire of mud wrestling and snooping into strangers’ storage lockers.)
    Besides, I do not brawl with comrades, we must save our strength for all the serious battles ahead! How else can we hope to contend with the hatred and ignorance that give rise to such sad, predictable insanity and violennce?
    As for “classy” … we humble moonshiners ain’t never had no sham-pain, far less a pipeline full of it! Let’s forget rash talk of duels — and just drink to confusion and worse for our enemies, to solidarity, and the better world we are both fighting for! – Linda

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