“Oh Dear, Bubba Dear!”

 

As a southerner, I am neither appalled nor am I outraged over what Bubba Dear has done. ‘Homegrown’ terrorists like Bubba Dear are a dime a dozen here in the land of the stupid and the afraid; better known to most of you as AmeriKKKa.

Bubba Dear is giving us Amerikkkans, a bad name and that is a fact. I mean, for goodness sake, we just finished gorging ourselves on dead turkeys and now Bubba Dear comes along and makes a mockery of our ‘thankfulness’ over this Thanksgiving weekend. What a way to finish out this “We are all thankful for your bounty and for your blessings Oh Lord God on high and as we celebrate how thankful we are to be with friends and family, we look forward to the holiness of Christmas and the Christ child’s virgin birth yada yada yada. Damn! I just gagged my own damn self over that pile of horseshit! But thankfully, there’s that word again, ‘thankful’, thankfully we’ve got Bubba Dear to remind us just how thankful we ought be. I mean, here he comes ‘a riding in on his big white steed….uh…I mean, in his pickup truck just a gunning fer those awful sinners down at the Planned Parenthood clinic and snakes alive, Bubba up and kills a pole-eesmun and he don’t even get hisself full of bullet holes; he ain’t shot so many daggone times that he’s a looking like Swiss cheese. And the cops even stopped long enough to give us a word on why Bubba Dear commenced to killing folks at the Planned Parenthood Clinic. He was, according to the cops, upset about fetal parts selling. Even though it weren’t no fetal body part of any of Bubba Dear’s inbred offspring, he was still all het up over it and since he had been reading that magazine called, Southern White Supremacy Terrorism”, well Bubba Dear just got all sorts of crazy ideas and since all of us in the south and evuhwhere else in AmeriKKKa got at least 25 guns, well, it weren’t no problem a’tall fer Bubba Dear to pick amongst his cache and get ta shooting.

We is all surprised like, ’cause this don’t happen in Amerikkka on a regular basis. We is too busy going on and on about dat dar ISIS, which us in the south thought was a goddess, but we is catching up with the rest of the world and even though “The South Will Rise Agin!” we gone see to it that fetal body parts don’t get sold. Bubba Dear was just doing his patriotic duty by protecting ALL Amerikkkans agin the gubmint law that states that wimmins has the rights to kill bābeez! Now, don’t mine Bubba Dear’s lack of an edumacasion and the fact that Bubba Dear considers hisself ta be filled with the supremes ’cause he feels that he is supreme to Black folks. I’m gonna keep this clean and it is real hard ta do so since I just cum from a Klan meeting muself. I dressed in ‘white’ face ’cause I’m doing an article on ‘White Supreme Groups Who’s Who’. I must say that I certainly appreciate Bubba Dear here ‘outing’ hisself in ‘Who’s Who’ so’s I can check him off muh list since he is gonna be incarcerated fer a few days. Just long enough fer his comrade terrorists to ‘Go Fund’ him some bale monies. Don’t mine muh spelling. We ain’t too brite down here. Hell! Y’all see how Bubba Dear was living. He weren’t never one fer food stamps seeing as how dat dar is a gubmint run program and terrorists like Bubba Dear is agin a’seeking help especially since he said that Obama was gone personally brung him his food stamps if’n he applied fer dem. He said, “I ain’t abowt ta haf no nigger cum to my hawse and hand me no goddamn food stamps. I’d just as soon as hunt fer berries and shoot me a possum or two.”

But now that Bubba Dear has committed this heinous crime dat he don’t think is a crime, he’s gonna get fed by the very gubmint he was hell bent on being non-compliant to. Ain’t that something? Now, I gots to tell Bubba Dear’s homeys that he ain’t gonna be home fer supper tuhnight ’cause he’s  a dining in the big hawse. Dey should a told Bubba Dear to hold off of doing dat at least til after the Thanksgiving holeeday.

I want to say in closing that we is all thankful that Bubba Dear was cawt and dat he is where he belongs. However, please to consider that Bubba edumacated hisself and the only book dat he had was ‘See Dick Run’. Now, can you at least sympathize with the fact that his brain potential was nevuh fully realized? Can you come to terms with the fact that Bubba Dear thought that he was supreme? Unfortunately, dare are many mo Bubba Dears out dare and dey is gonna go off on a rampage and keel some folks.  Dey is worse den ISIS! So wave a webel flag for Bubba Dear tuhnight and say it wif me, “The Sawth Weel Rize Agin! Stop the selling of fetul bawdee pawts!” Now, ain’t we all ‘thankful’?