– sing to the tune of “Hark the Herald Angels Sing.”
Hark the hypocrites do sing!
Glory to the news they bring
Bombs on earth and missiles too
Aimed at me and aimed at you
Peace on earth is but a dream
Can’t you hear the people scream?
Watch the bombs light up the skies
Listen to the children’s cries
And the Christians doth proclaim
Christ was born and that’s so lame
There they sit with pants unzipped
I don’t want to see them stripped
Lambs aren’t in the manger fold
They are waiting to be sold
Lamb chops on the menu here
Wash them down with ice cold beer
Kiss your mother who is drunk
Daddy dear is in a funk
He didn’t get a penis pump
Where’s a cliff for him to jump?
Uncle Jack is in rehab
His herpes has formed a scab
Hark the hypocrites do sing
Glory to the new crack wing!
You will overdose again
When you do, just say, “Amen!”
We so love the holidays,
refugees are in a daze
Drones have struck the innocent
Brag about the cash you’ve spent
Christmas comes but once a year
Hark the hypocrites, you hear!
Glory to the bottom line.
Now throw out this dead ole pine
Bring me whiskey on the rocks
Time to ride some big ole cocks
Hark the hypocrites do sing!
Glory to your fake ass king!
Shelby I. Courtland
©2015 Shelby I. Courtland
And if you didn’t know, I’ll be more than happy to clue you in. Your fake ass king is M-O-N-E-Y!
I am SO in the Christmas spirit this year, I just cannot help myself. Bombs are being dropped in distant lands. Drones are killing innocent people. But for one day, we will put all of that aside. We will, for one day, express our love for our family and friends and associates. We will gift them all that credit cards can buy. This is how we show our devotion and love; with gifts. We don’t show our love by worrying about the conditions of third-world sweatshops and the people who ‘slave’ in them. We don’t care that people are suffering so bad, that they would rather commit suicide than continue on. We carelessly head to the mall and shop until we drop; shoving that piece of plastic across the counter and out the door, we go. But we are so thoughtful and kind and decent. We then head to the supermarket and thoughtlessly pick the choicest piece of butchered cow or pig or lamb and we get someone to cook that up for us; rare, medium rare or well done. Stock the liquor cabinet. Are all the mixers shelved and ready? Oh look at the beautiful tree. It was beautiful when it was in its natural state, but now, it has been chopped and kept ‘green’ by some polluted ass faucet water; that is until this is all over and then, “Throw it away!”
In all actuality, this planet should “Throw us away!” I wish to hell it would. With our fake ass moaning over climate change; we cut down more trees to have signs printed calling for climate change reform when we are instrumental in the death of this planet by the cutting down of more and more trees for those very signs. Sigh! The ‘human’ race is a disgrace to this planet and to the innocent animals that occupy it and who are at the mercy of the merciless. How can we claim to be merciful when we are shedding tears because our father or brother or sister is overseas, suited up in military gear ready to kill someone they don’t even know and for what? Room and board? Some food stamps? Glory? Honor? One thing I can say is that we cannot lose honor because we never had any to begin with. Now, we’re all just meaningless filth; pretending to be do-gooders and concerned creatures. Shove it! Your so-called ‘loved one’ would not be in Iraq or Afghanistan or Syria if we did not have that killer instinct that drives us. Love does not drive us for if it did, we would not condone the killing of others and claim that it is honorable. What the fuck are YOU celebrating this Christmas? Especially those of you who go on and on about ‘climate change’. Those of you who go on and on about the untold miseries that other people are dealing with while you go on and on about how wonderful and kind you are that you hashtagged some solidarity with the ‘unfortunates’. You did your part when you displayed some colors in a flag over your Facebook photo. Oh wow! Now shit yourself because you did GOOD!
Maybe I am Miss goddamn humbug! But at least, I am honest about the fact that I am just another worthless so-called ‘human’. But one thing about me, I’m NO hypocrite! So, enjoy your ‘holiday’. And I sincerely hope that that pig you’ll eat, deposits itself on your ass!