“Hark The Hypocrites Do Sing!”

hark the hypocrites


– sing to the tune of “Hark the Herald Angels Sing.”

Hark the hypocrites do sing!
Glory to the news they bring
Bombs on earth and missiles too
Aimed at me and aimed at you
Peace on earth is but a dream
Can’t you hear the people scream?
Watch the bombs light up the skies
Listen to the children’s cries
And the Christians doth proclaim
Christ was born and that’s so lame
There they sit with pants unzipped
I don’t want to see them stripped
Lambs aren’t in the manger fold
They are waiting to be sold
Lamb chops on the menu here
Wash them down with ice cold beer
Kiss your mother who is drunk
Daddy dear is in a funk
He didn’t get a penis pump
Where’s a cliff for him to jump?
Uncle Jack is in rehab
His herpes has formed a scab

Hark the hypocrites do sing
Glory to the new crack wing!
You will overdose again
When you do, just say, “Amen!”
We so love the holidays,
refugees are in a daze
Drones have struck the innocent
Brag about the cash you’ve spent
Christmas comes but once a year
Hark the hypocrites, you hear!
Glory to the bottom line.
Now throw out this dead ole pine
Bring me whiskey on the rocks
Time to ride some big ole cocks
Hark the hypocrites do sing!
Glory to your fake ass king!

Written by,

Shelby I. Courtland

©2015 Shelby I. Courtland

And if you didn’t know, I’ll be more than happy to clue you in. Your fake ass king is M-O-N-E-Y!

I am SO in the Christmas spirit this year, I just cannot help myself. Bombs are being dropped in distant lands. Drones are killing innocent people. But for one day, we will put all of that aside. We will, for one day, express our love for our family and friends and associates. We will gift them all that credit cards can buy. This is how we show our devotion and love; with gifts. We don’t show our love by worrying about the conditions of third-world sweatshops and the people who ‘slave’ in them. We don’t care that people are suffering so bad, that they would rather commit suicide than continue on. We carelessly head to the mall and shop until we drop; shoving that piece of plastic across the counter and out the door, we go. But we are so thoughtful and kind and decent. We then head to the supermarket and thoughtlessly pick the choicest piece of butchered cow or pig or lamb and we get someone to cook that up for us; rare, medium rare or well done. Stock the liquor cabinet. Are all the mixers shelved and ready? Oh look at the beautiful tree. It was beautiful when it was in its natural state, but now, it has been chopped and kept ‘green’ by some polluted ass faucet water; that is until this is all over and then, “Throw it away!”

In all actuality, this planet should “Throw us away!” I wish to hell it would. With our fake ass moaning over climate change; we cut down more trees to have signs printed calling for climate change reform when we are instrumental in the death of this planet by the cutting down of more and more trees for those very signs. Sigh! The ‘human’ race is a disgrace to this planet and to the innocent animals that occupy it and who are at the mercy of the merciless. How can we claim to be merciful when we are shedding tears because our father or brother or sister is overseas, suited up in military gear ready to kill someone they don’t even know and for what? Room and board? Some food stamps? Glory? Honor? One thing I can say is that we cannot lose honor because we never had any to begin with. Now, we’re all just meaningless filth; pretending to be do-gooders and concerned creatures. Shove it! Your so-called ‘loved one’ would not be in Iraq or Afghanistan or Syria if we did not have that killer instinct that drives us. Love does not drive us for if it did, we would not condone the killing of others and claim that it is honorable. What the fuck are YOU celebrating this Christmas? Especially those of you who go on and on about ‘climate change’. Those of you who go on and on about the untold miseries that other people are dealing with while you go on and on about how wonderful and kind you are that you hashtagged some solidarity with the ‘unfortunates’. You did your part when you displayed some colors in a flag over your Facebook photo. Oh wow! Now shit yourself because you did GOOD!

Maybe I am Miss goddamn humbug! But at least, I am honest about the fact that I am just another worthless so-called ‘human’. But one thing about me, I’m NO hypocrite! So, enjoy your ‘holiday’. And I sincerely hope that that pig you’ll eat, deposits itself on your ass!

23 thoughts on ““Hark The Hypocrites Do Sing!”

    1. ROTFLMAO! Peter, that was hilarious! I am seriously going to get my greeting cards and some more shit up and running ASAP! Hell! I could even put together greeting cards and whatnot for ALL occasions.

      I got a chuckle and then some! Thanks, I needed that!

      Peter, I have been so busy lately that I’ve hardly had time to breathe and I am not even celebrating the helidaze. Family issues and legal issues are taking up my time, but when some of this shit storm of shit blows away, I’m going to get busy. On my way home, I just had to shake my head over the lavish Christmas decoration displays. Whoever is on the Space Station could see that mess, it’s SO lit up. But we are SO goddamn concerned about the health of the planet and we show it by demanding that electric companies get all pistons firing to make sure our Christmas light displays don’t go dark. Sigh! I just shake my head over all of this shit!

      Peter, again, thank you for the link and for your comment. I sincerely appreciate it!

      Liked by 2 people

  1. hahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha Shelby y’ah kill me hahahahahahahaha I had a blast singing this


    1. LMAO!! Bless your heart nidotopianwarrior! When I read this one back, I had to laugh also. But I still didn’t top the previous one. I am roaring with laughter over that one; although it’s true as hell and really foul as fuck!

      Just consider this my celebration of the helidaze. I am just doing my part to get you in the ‘Christless’ holiday spirit!

      Thanks nidotopianwarrior! I appreciate your comment!


    1. Well, aren’t you the lucky one. That was not a question. You’re the lucky one. We are bombarded over here as I am sure you know. I don’t even own a TV, but when I turn my computer on, the first thing I see is some goddamn shit about buying a ring or a car or a big ole TV or several for that special someone. I am that special someone and I’m not buying me a goddamn thing for Christmas! Fuck Christmas! I’ll buy me something when I want to and not when I’m TOLD to!

      Dr. Bramhall, I didn’t mean to go off on a tangent, but you know how I get around the hellidaze!

      Thank you for your comment!


  2. Wow!! This was good! You’re two for two now Shelby.lol You need to have this copywritten. I can definitely see someone stealing this. This was pure genius…and so true. Two thumbs UP!!!


    1. Thanks Prince! You’re right. I should. They’re damn good, even if I do say so myself. I think I’ll quit while I’m a head! I’d rather go out in a blaze of glory and not have to get pushed out the door! LOL!

      Again, I thank you for the compliment on this one. It is much appreciated!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Shelby, You’re on a roll here! I’m almost looking forward to the rest of the, um, midwinter festivities season just for your posts
    The only down side is now you have the damn tunes running in my head, and I do try NOT to hear or keep looping carols like that. Oh well, thanks for providing such great alternative lyrics! – Linda.


    1. Ahhh…Linda, I apologize. I’ve gone and done it to myself also. I was out today and I broke out with MY version of the Twelve Days Of Christmas and seeing as how I was in ‘mixed’ company, there was much laughter and then, there were the looks. Oh and the FBI called me today. It was nothing. They had just heard that I was telling the truth about the history of this fucked up nation and wondered if I cared to retract anything. I said, “No!” And hung up. So, if I’m not posting for a few months, it’s ’cause I’m being ‘rectally hydrated’. LMAO! I am SO bad!

      Linda, I promise to stop with this one. So, I won’t mess with your head anymore this Christmas. LOL!

      Thank you so much for your comment.


  4. Shelby…You might mess up someone’s holiday spirit.
    Actually I found out the real origin of Christmas. It is good to have time off and to be at the end of the year but I am not really celebrating it. A lot of people are really stressed out, however.


    1. I am real worried about messing up someone’s holiday spirit. I really am. How dare I! I don’t have a problem with people having time off. Hell! They should take time off. I hate the absolute commercialization of Christmas. I hate the fact that we go on and on about ‘climate change’ and then turn right around and light up the house and the yard with Christmas lights and cut down living trees, but we want to go green! We need to shut the fuck up already! We are either concerned about our world or we are hypocrites and we ARE hypocrites. We go on and on about debt, but go right back into debt; those that somehow got out of it after LAST Christmas.

      Yeah, I guess a lot of people are stressed out. I’d be stressed out too if I had to buy, buy and buy because people expect it of me. I’d tell ’em to piss off! But that’s me. If they’ve got the time off, they shouldn’t be stressed. They should be kicking back and enjoying being off but no, they’ve got to run to the mall 16 times and max out credit cards. They bring the stress on themselves and they’ll get no sympathy from me.

      Thank you for your comment N.S.


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