I’ll drink until I’m drunk and then just drink some more.
I’ll cease to be a lady and just become a whore.
I refuse to brush my teeth! No need for dental floss.
Toothlessness won’t worry me. I shall not miss the loss.
I’ll never brush my hair and have bedhead all day long.
Not caring about hygiene is really not so wrong.
I’ll only eat fried foods and buy ice cream by the ton.
Chocolate cake is on the menu. Give me that honey bun!
I’ll never exercise. Who needs a nice, slim waist?
I’d rather have my food and I need more than a taste.
I’ll fart and belch in public and dare anyone to frown.
There’ll be a trail of fumes as I stroll around the town.
I will not clean my house, nor will I wash my car.
I’ll live among the filth and kick bottles from the bar.
These are my resolutions that I so intend to keep.
Who cares where I’m headed? I shan’t look before I leap.
Shelby I. Courtland
©2013 Shelby I. Courtland
Now, these resolutions are real easy to keep! I thought that after all the shit that’s been going down, we could ALL use a little levity!