When I Was A Stripper!

silhouette of a stripper

I am a wanton sort of hussy.
And I’m not particularly fussy.
There ain’t a man I wouldn’t date.
I’ve slept with a man from every state.

The Christians say I’m bad!
They say my life is kind of sad.
But what the hell do they know?
All their prayers are just for show.

I’m not the one who’s the hypocrite.
I don’t fake it, not one bit.
I love sex and that’s a fact
And when I cum, it’s not an act.

Do not judge me for the life I lead.
I much prefer porn over a bible to read.
Your shocked face is ludicrous.
You say I am shameless and unscrupulous.

I am that and so much more
But I could never be a bore.
It ain’t in me to be prim and proper.
I aim to shock and I’m a showstopper.

I’m no granny with a toothless smile.
Watch me dance; I’ll make it worth your while.
I make the most of my seductive beauty.
While I still can, I’m gonna shake my booty.

All the men love to see me nude.
In the club, they can be so crude.
But I’m making money and I can’t complain.
Some nights I bathe in pink champagne.

I am naked and uninhibited.
And my dancing is quite undisciplined.
There ain’t a dance that I won’t do.
If the money’s right then I’m with you!

If a lap dance is what you want,
show me your wallet and I’ll show you my cunt.
Go ahead and brand me as a Jezebel.
But I’ll still be dancing when I’m in hell!

Written by,

Shelby I. Courtland

©2016 Shelby I. Courtland

I know! I know! This is a far cry from my usual. But for some strange reason, my sensual, provocative and coquettish side came out in this one. Is this about me or what? LOL! I’ll leave it for you to be the ‘judge’! *wink*

20 thoughts on “When I Was A Stripper!

  1. Shelby, Go, girl! Got to admit a little jealousy for this one, as I never had a bod folks would pay to see – nothing grotesque, but nothing special either
    You know what I always say … . if there’s no music in heaven, I won’t go; and if there’s no GOOD music there, I won’t stay. The band’s bound to be better in hell, goes without saying! Thanks for this one, you jezebel you. – Linda


    1. Linda, bless your heart! I wish I had been, dare I say, brave enough to try stripping for at least one night. Hell! When I was married, I slept in a granny gown.

      Actually, I can’t lay claim to the dubious fame of being a stripper. I just got the urge to be naughty and voila! This is the extent of my ‘naughtiness’. I’m just an average kinda girl who could never grab a pole and twirl! LOL! I would love to have played the ‘Jezebel’ type. As someone else once pointed out, I simply live life, vicariously.

      Linda thank you for that spot on comment! I do wish it were me, sometimes!


    1. Why, thank you Peter! Now, THAT is the reaction I was aiming for! From the man’s point of view, your comment and Skulz’s are neck n neck. Linda is out in front with the ladies point of view. Not that this is a contest, it’s just all in fun! Again, thank you!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I was thinking of trying one of those poles in the bedroom. I would probably land on my head but then we’d all have a good laugh. I like Linda’s thoughts on the matter – “if there’s no music in heaven, I won’t go and if it isn’t good music, I won’t stay.” Have a good one Shelby.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Damn! I missed your comment Leslie! You are now neck n neck with Linda! “Land on your head,” now THAT is funny! LMAO!!! As you say, it would elicit quite a few loud laughs even if your landing wouldn’t exactly be ‘sexy’. LOL!!

      Thank you for that fun comment Leslie! I laughed uproariously! And Linda, is of course, ever the wise one! I beg her to give me lessons, especially on how to be witty!


    1. LMAO!!! HLJ, you are something else, love!!!

      I can see that I shall have to issue a disclaimer.

      Disclaimer:This poem is absolutely NOT about me! Although I do have a naughty side, it is not naughty enough for me to grab a pole and give stripping a go! I am a Victorian lily and I wilt at even the idea of torrid and lewd sex acts. It is not even in my nature to engage in such amorous activities. I would much rather write about such goings on then participate in them. I confess, I am boring. Tubularsock was right. I am only interesting, never exciting, titillating or intoxicating. End of disclaimer!

      But seriously HLJ, thank you for that comment that is just too hilarious!

      Love ya,


  3. Shelby, Now how can I put this in a lady-like turn of phrase … cut the crap already! Me, teach YOU to be witty? Only when I break down and get my legendary 100th-birthday tattoo!
    Which now I think of it might also be the time to try stripping myself — could be lucrative then, with guys begging, and paying, for me to put it all back on!
    As for you being merely “interesting” you know better … Tubularsock may know everything, even before or whether or not it happens, but sometimes, just now and then, I suspect he’s not always entirely serious! Oops, don’t tell him I said that … though it’s no doubt too late … – Linda

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Tubularsock not serious? The only reason Tubularsock called it “interesting” was to cover the fact that by the time Tubularsock was down to the third stanza Tubularsock had finished ripping off his last garment!

      If you’ve got it flaunt it …………. nudity avoids dry cleaning!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. LMSAO=laughing my stupid ass off! How in the world could I not know that you’d come back with a comment like this? You being Tubularsock and all? What the fuck was I thinking? LMAO!! Your comment is one in a gazillion!!!!!!

        We ALL know what expensive attire you require and so I should have known you would not fuck up the style and profile that IS Tubularsock! I hang my head in shame! Can you ever find it in your heart to forgive me, Mr. President Tubularsock???!! I don’t deserve it!

        Sakes alive! I done burst a blood vessel over this one! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!

        Tubularsock, you are precious! Thank you man!


    2. LMAO!!! Linda, you’re a true lady! I just pretend to be one. So, even when you reach your 100th birthday, the elegant, sophisticated and witty lady that I know you to be, would be the toast of any strip club! Men would consider it an honor if you would so deign to honor them with your effervescent presence and we ALL know this!

      And Tubularsock always has something to say, so trust that he will think of something and guess what? He did! You guys are too much fun and I just love it!

      Thanks for getting in the fun and spirit of this! It’s been extremely enjoyable and so needed!


      1. Thanks for providing the opportunity! We’re always with you, if we can keep up.(Meaning me – of course Tubularsock can keep up if not ahead!)
        “nudity saves dry cleaning”
        Now why didn’t I think of that? As always, wisdom is simple and obvious … once the great one enlightens me. We may not deserve him, but we absolutely do need such a president! Now more than ever!


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