Come Back To Chipotle!

lonely burrito

The lonely burrito
 is missing you so!
Come back to Chipotle.
Please stay, don’t you go!

We’ve cleaned up our act.
No more E.coli for you!
We’ve washed all the lettuce
 so you won’t feel blue.

Our shareholders worry
 over their dividend checks.
As the stock values fall,
 money’s better than sex.

On our knees, we beg you,
 give us just one more try.
We won’t make you sick,
 or cause you to die!

There are no more lines.
Lunchtime will be fun.
We’ll sell you some meat
 that won’t make you run.

We’re north of the border,
 so our food you can trust.
Come back to us, please
 before we go bust!

Written by,
Shelby I. Courtland
©2016 Shelby I. Courtland

Chipotle’s sales have dropped by 10.3 million burritos

These days, a weekday lunch at a Manhattan Chipotle is a lovely, languorous affair. There’s hardly ever a line. Empty seats abound. Even the once elusive pork carnitas are plentiful. It’s a meal devoid of the frenzy and strategy a noontime Chipotle run used to demand.

Of course, for the company and it’s shareholders this is a terrible thing.

Yes, what a terrible thing for the shareholders, not so much for the people who sickened thanks to this E. coli outbreak that even the CDC can’t figure out what caused it. So, they expect you to just head right on back inside a Chipotle, sit down and gorge on E.Coli because profits over people always trumps the day! Getting the ‘runs’ is good for folks. Just look at it as a colonoscopy prep. Don’t you just luuuuuuv them? HA!

The last time I was downtown, there were no lines out the door of the Chipotle Mexican Grill! Go figure! I have walked past the restaurant many times and rain, snow, sleet, hail; it made no difference, the line was out the door. Not any more. So, now is the perfect time to try Chipotle Mexican Grill! No waiting!

The two most recent outbreaks linked to Chipotle Mexican Grill restaurants appear to be over, according to federal officials who say the root cause of the E. coli infections has not been determined.Testing of fresh produce, meat and other foods from Chipotle restaurants has not provided investigators with much insight, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

4 thoughts on “Come Back To Chipotle!

  1. Since the first outbreak, I’ve been thinking that they were targeted for being one of those “fast food” restaurants trying to do business with some integrity and transparency. I mean don’t these foods have to be checked and monitored through every step? I just don’t see how it can happen more than once to one restaurant in such a short amount of time.


    1. Hence, the CDC could find NO fault with any of the items tested. Something just doesn’t add up. You would think that with the shit McDonalds feeds it customers, it would have been McDonalds in the news with some serious mess going on. Frankly, I am shocked because Chipotle has always had a loyal customer base and this is seriously going to hurt their sales. Again, something just isn’t adding up.

      Thank you for your insightful comment Kelley!

      Liked by 1 person

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