I Am Joining The Army!

Multiple anonymous sources have reportedly come forward to claim that the female candidates for Ranger School, including 1st Lt Griest (pictured) were given extra training and lower standards
Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3249690/First-women-pass-Ranger-School-given-extra-training-lowered-benchmarks-general-vowed-one-pass-sources-claim

 

 

No need to draft me, I enlist! As a female, I am going to have my head shaved and head to basic training because I am just as strong as a man. I can hoist a man over my shoulder and carry him off the battlefield with no problem at all. I want so many goddamn back surgeries later in life, it don’t even make any sense. I want to become addicted to oxycontin. What’s a little drug addiction since I want it to be known that I am equal to the task that is required of any man who joins the Army? I am the Feminist Movement goddamn it and before they revoke my membership, I will prove once and for all that women can do the same job as men and even though my body will be forever broken because of it, it’s all for a good cause ; the cause of showing those he-man types that women are equal to the task; that their strength is our strength and vice versa.

So, hand me a supply of tampons and sanitary pads because I don’t want to bleed all over the place and be mistaken for having been shot and the medics are checking me out when my comrades who really do need medical attention are bleeding from the ass because I mistakenly shot ’em in it while fumbling for my tampons while hoisting yet another of my comrades on my shoulders and these goddamn boots are just killing my feet. If only they came in high heels, I would not have a problem. I fucking miss my little black dress, but hey! This is all for a good cause. I am woman, hear me roar!

Also, do you mind if I bring my perfume along with me? I’ll only dab a little behind my ears and on my wrists. Everyone should smell good after a nice, hot clean shower! What? I can’t take a shower today? Are you kidding me? Why, that’s just unsanitary! And what is this muck on a tray? Food? I’m not eating that! There is going to have to be some changes in this here Army if you expect me to ‘tough’ it out. I have some demands. First up, I insist on private showers. Secondly, I am really tired of toting around that really, really heavy weapon. I’ve got bruises, simply everywhere! Third, I refuse to eat this garbage. I am a vegetarian and I insist on fresh fruits and vegetables as that is what I am used to. Fourth, my nails are fucked up and can you imagine how much a manicure is going to cost me? And just when the hell am I ever going to get leave so that I can get my nails done? Fifth, the heat and the flies are just terrible! I cannot believe that I left my nice, cool, comfortable office job for this! I’m patriotic and everything, but goddamn! This is the absolute end of enough! What is expected of us is just too damn much, that’s what it is!

I don’t use this kind of soap! Where is the luxurious bath foaming gel? I use a special moisturizer for my face and I can’t even squeeze it into my backpack which is already too heavy, by the way! And I am still seething that all my lovely hair is lying on some nasty floor somewhere. Why must we all be shaven? Of course, some don’t seem to mind, but I do! I guess I am supposed to look as much like a man as possible so you men don’t look at me with lust and the next thing I know, you’re crawling all over me and I’m running to my commanding officer screaming that I have been raped. I heard that Susie was raped last night and I just figured she was trying to get out of the Army, but she may have been. I see the way you guys look at us even with our shaved heads because you know what’s underneath this bulky ass uniform. And then, I am supposed to tote your ass out of harms way when the enemy attacks us? HA! That’ll be the day! I’ll leave your ass lying there for the buzzards to pick, bone clean!

But seriously, women in combat roles in the Army? Do we really need to prove something? Women are the givers of life. We are not the takers of life. If we turn ourselves into killing machines, what does that say for the ‘human’ race as a species? We are already handing our precious sons over to rich shits that wouldn’t spit on them if they were on fire to put it out. We gladly send our loved ones off to fight rich shits wars and now, we want to go and shoot up people who have done us no harm? I understand that there is a gender problem in this country and all around the world, but signing on the dotted line for combat duty is not the answer. Having someone turn you into a killing machine is not the way to go about proving a damn thing. And I do know that women receive less pay than men for doing the same job, but we have got to draw the line somewhere. Yes, we have battles that we need to fight, but must they be with a gun, a missile and a drone? How can we give birth and then get up and kill another mother’s child and then claim that we are doing this to prove that we are equal to any man?

We are women for a reason. We can do so many things that men cannot do and we must understand and realize that there are things that men can do that we cannot and or should not do and turning ourselves into killing machines is something that we should not do! Life should be precious to us because we are the givers of life. Our bodies were made to nurture life. That is a wonder in itself! No man can lay claim to having the ability to do that. We all know that men want to control every aspect of our lives but ultimately, it is up to us as to whether or not we allow them to take that control away from us and by signing up to kill, you allow them to control you. Your zeal for a perception of ‘equality’ is overshadowing your humanity and you should take a step back and think about just what it is you are doing. Do you really have to kill to prove that you are equal to a man?