“Damn, Ted Cruz! You Ain’t Even From Here!!”

candidates for president

Bernie, I wanna vote for you,
but I just don’t feel the BERN!
You said if you don’t get the nomination
then it’s got to be Hillary’s turn!

Hillary, I can’t help but despise.
Your war crimes have me stunned.
You are one foul ass stinking warwhore
and if I slept with you, I’d want a refund.

Dude with the bad comb-over,
to you, I don’t know what to say.
You’re one egotistical piece of shit.
But you as president? That’ll be the day!

Damn Ted Cruz! You ain’t even from here!
How the hell you get away with that?
Canada, come get your native son,
or do you want us to exterminate this rat?

Now, who the hell else is there to vote for?
Give me a name and I will write it in.
And for the love of all that’s unholy,
I hope these assholes don’t have a twin!

Written by,
Shelby I. Courtland
©2016 Shelby I. Courtland

As far as I am concerned, all of the above named should be disqualified and therefore, unable to become president for one reason or another. We ALL know why that warwhore Hillary Clinton should be disqualified. Hell! That warwhore never saw a warmonger she wouldn’t crawl into bed with. Bernie Sanders is just playing a game since he’s already let it be known that “He got Hillary’s back!” if he don’t get the nomination. Comb-over is in it for ego purposes and for entertainment for this Roman circus of presidential ‘gladiators’. Cruz is most definitely NOT qualified at all. For fuck’s sake, he is NOT even a natural born citizen. His ass was born in Canada! So, what I would like to know is this. Where are the ‘Obama Birthers’? Why isn’t Ted Cruz’s birth certificate getting the same microscopic examination that Barack Obama’s birth certificate received? All I hear from the ‘Birther Movement’ is the sound of crickets chirping. “CHIRRRRUP! CHIRRRUP!” What the hell is up with that shit???!! Chirrup up a plausible goddamn response to the question, BIRTHERS!

So, who is left? Why, there is the Green Party candidate, but we didn’t hear a peep out of lamestream media about the other parties  and their candidates. Once again, as usual, the corporations pick and choose the president of the United States and we stand in long lines, hoping that our IDs will gain us access to the voting booth so that we can ‘vote’ for the next president. Get real! You ain’t never elected one single goddamn president and if you think you have, all you ‘Dorothys’ out there,  close your eyes, tap your heels together three times and then wake the fuck up!

23 thoughts on ““Damn, Ted Cruz! You Ain’t Even From Here!!”

  1. Shelby, There’s no place like home, eh? Oops, it didn’t work … maybe you have to hold that obnoxious little mutt … but I doubt the yappy thing’s housebroken. Guess I’ll have to deal with what we’ve got. Damn.
    And these jokers don’t need twins, they’ll just clone them.
    Exterminate them all would be the prudent thing — even the animal rights folks would favor it, I’m sure! [You literally made me laugh out loud, in front of my right-wing mother. I didn’t tell her why.] Another great post, thanks! – Linda

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    • Linda, PETA has promised not to be all up in our grill for exterminating that particular vermin. Even the SPCA has given us their blessing if we can get rid of these snakelike creatures. Nor has those creeps been designated as an endangered species. Hell! Because of their ‘species’, we are on the brink of extinction. However, I don’t think Orkin and Terminix can do a damn thing about bedbugs of this magnitude. I’ll give ’em a call, but I don’t hold out much hope that they can help. We is on our own! Try not to get close to one, you’ll never stop itching and scratching! LOL!

      Thanks Linda! I loved that comment! Oh, and tell mom, I said, “Hi!” I don’t even want to hazard a guess as to who your mom is voting for. *wink*

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    • And there you have it folks, the candidate to ‘write in’! I understand that it does not seem as though Tubularsock has a first and last name, but I am sure that if you write in first name “Tubular” and last name “Sock,” that should cover it! And may Tubularsock win the popular vote as well as the electoral vote and Tubularsock, don’t cave man! Make sure that you contest the outcome and have some entity overrule the Supreme Court’s decision to (s)elect Hillary ‘snake eyes’ Clinton!

      Vote for Tubularsock for President 2016! The time is now, motherfuckers!!!! YAAAAAAAAAY!!!

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      • Of course I am! And you is too! We want Tubularsock! We want Tubularsock! If we don’t get Tubularsock, then we are done for!! I wish to pieces he was actually in the running Sojourner and I suspect, so do you! We can but dream, I suppose!

        Liked by 1 person

  2. If we have an election, this must be the strangest one ever. Senator Cruz just gave up his Canadian citizenship a couple of years ago, though this is not the main legal issue. There are several lawsuits against the senator on the basis of him NOT being a natural born citizen, but all these cases will likely not be resolved until after November. I don’t think Sen. Cruz will be in charge, but from what I have heard from his debate, America will be very much different (though things will change drastically no matter who is running the country, of course).

    Cruz has been anointed, according to Pastor Kenneth Copeland, to be America’s next leader(the most important part is the first 20 seconds if you don’t want to sit through the 4 minutes) :

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    • Cruz can give up his Canadian citizenship all he wants, but that don’t cut no ice with me and it shouldn’t cut any with the law of the land because it clearly states that the ‘president MUST be a natural born citizen’ and the last I heard, Canada was not a part of the U.S. Now, how they get Cruz around that is beyond me because at least Obama’s birth certificate stated that he was born in Hawaii. Ted Cruz, not so much!

      It is amazing how there is one set of rules for some and another for others and it all depends on what the agenda is. We’ve heard not a goddamn peep from the lamestream media about the different lawsuits over Ted Cruz’s citizenship. But over Obama’s, the lamestream media was relentless.

      So that right wing Christian bullshit wants an anointing, eh? I’m not surprised! I am sure they are looking anywhere except at the ‘elephant in the room’ that IS Ted Cruz’s birth certificate. Oh what’s a little illegal presidency when he stands for what those slimy bastards stand for?

      Thank you for your comment N.S. and for posting the link. I’ll try and stomach the whole thing. YUK!

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  3. Ha, agree with you about Cruz and Trump for sure. I like Hillary, but not crazy about Bernie, and if it ends up being Bern vs. Trump in the general election, I have no idea who I will vote for. Kasich?

    Liked by 1 person

    • I don’t know how you could possibly like Hillary! That warmonger is a war criminal and should be cooling her heels inside Guantanamo for her role in terrorizing the Middle East, especially Libya. You don’t remember her, “We came, we saw, he died!,” when speaking of the assassination of Libya’s leader, Muammar el-Qaddafi. Libya is now in flames and yet, the lamestream media is strangely quiet over the pandemonium, bedlam and chaos that IS Libya, today. You’ve forgotten the Whitewater scandal? Or how about the way the Clintons and their ‘foundation’ fucked over the Haitian people? How about the fact that Hillary Clinton referred to Black people as ‘super predators’ that needed to be brought to heel? I could go on and on, but if you can still ‘like’ Hillary Clinton, then there is just nothing else to be said!

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Shelby, to show you how uninvolved I am in this RAT race, I didn’t even know Cruz was a Canadian.

    I hate this four year farce so much that the only things I have published about the assholes running, leaving out our Tube of course, are the articles that expose them for the scum they are.

    But I get your point. As much as I despise Barack, there was all the birther shit dealing with him, so where is that outrage now.

    Just more racist, hypocritical bullshit from this racist, hypocritical bullshit system!

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    • I don’t blame you Sojourner for not publishing much about this fucked up bullshit that we have to put up with every four years. I don’t even know why we have to go through this song and dance and clown circus act when they already know who is going to slither and crawl inside the White House. And here we stand somewhere in long lines, thinking that we are actually voting for that scum when we ain’t doing a goddamn thing but wasting our time.

      The only reason I post anything about this shit is because I have always attempted to counter the hypocrisy and outright lies with the truth and since many of my readers are from other countries, I want them to know that at least 10 of us are not on some stupid time!

      I just keep hearing about the fact that Cruz was Canadian born and I was waiting to hear that he had been told that he was not qualified because of it, but nothing doing. It is full speed ahead and if by some chance, he is (s)elected as our next president, I have no idea in hell how it could be a legitimate presidency because it absolutely goes against the law of the land but since those who make the laws, interpret them any way they want, well, there ya go! And yes, it is absolute stinking racism because not a peep have we heard from the ‘Birther Movement’ that was all over Barack Obama’s birth certificate like flies on shit! But we are ‘post-racial’, doncha know! Yeah, right!

      Thank you for your comment Sojourner!

      Liked by 1 person

      • Shelby, you wrote,

        “The only reason I post anything about this shit is because I have always attempted to counter the hypocrisy and outright lies with the truth and since many of my readers are from other countries, I want them to know that at least 10 of us are not on some stupid time!”

        Good point! I never considered this. I’m sure, as it gets closer, I will end up posting more.

        Liked by 1 person

  5. “Of course I am! And you is too! We want Tubularsock! We want Tubularsock! If we don’t get Tubularsock, then we are done for!! I wish to pieces he was actually in the running Sojourner and I suspect, so do you! We can but dream, I suppose!”

    Yes siree, Shelby, Tube is the man. But my response was to Tube’s comment, not yours. I was trying to get the old goat’s goat, if you will!

    Yep, Tube could take us all away, just like Calgon used to;-)

    Have you checked out the Tube’s latest poetry, and mine as well, on his latest posts? Methinks you will enjoy!

    Liked by 1 person

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