What The Hell??!!!!

woman was executed by boyfriend


Black folks, I am going to have to get ugly all up in here! What the hell??!!!

“Pregnant woman executed by her gangland boyfriend for refusing to get an abortion!”

According to the article, Candace Pickens loved being a mother to her three-year old son Zachaeus and she was looking forward to becoming a mother for the second time. Unfortunately, her choice of a partner was her undoing. For the father of her child, she chose a ‘man’ who had a criminal record for domestic violence against another woman who also had a baby by him, not only that but he also had an attempted robbery conviction and in addition to that, it has also been suggested that he was affiliated with a gang.

Now, I could shake my head over Ms. Pickens choice over who she chose to date and have a baby with, but seeing as how the father of her unborn and now dead child, has been charged with their murder, that would be extremely insensitive of me and so I shall just concentrate on the choices we women make when attempting to enter into relationships with men who are absolutely wrong for us in every possible way. It is not only the fact that we know these men are wrong, it would seem that many of us are still into the “I want the bad boy type and yes I know what he did to his other baby mama but he would not do that to me because I am different. I am special.”

Uh, no you’re not! You are just a piece of ass to this type and they will use you and go on to the next, depositing who knows what inside you while impregnating you. And these days, with the explosion of all sorts of STDs that you cannot get rid of, not to mention that Black women in Ms. Pickens age group, statistically speaking, are the new face of AIDS, why are they not better protecting themselves? With information right at our fingertips stating the obvious, we still don’t pay attention and decide that “it’s never going to happen to me. I am the exception and not the rule.”

Newsflash, no matter how special you think you are, to these men, you are not the exception because unfortunately, many Black women have decided that they value themselves so little that they will lie down with a detestable piece of garbage who would shoot his own mama if she crossed him. This misogynistic piece of shit deserves no mercy. Even I would throw the book at his Black ass and never  would he see the light of day!

Somewhere along the way, we have failed our daughters and we have failed in producing sons who respect and revere the Black woman. We have failed our daughters in the sense that they don’t even care what they lie down with. They care so little for the health and safety of their bodies that they become a trash receptacle. And Black men, and I use the term loosely, because a ‘MAN’ would never do this to a woman, have veered so far out into left field that many are just too far gone to reach. I look at many Black men today and I just shake my head, AGAIN because I say to myself, “No way! No goddamn way!” If I was that oversexed, I’d head to Dildo Land before I’d take that mess ‘head’ on.The snake that executed this woman also shot her son in the head and left them both for dead. I just cannot imagine that kind of evil. I just cannot.

We are truly lost!

I go on and on about how Black people are the target for racist KKKops, have been disenfranchised, are victims of gentrification, a school-to-prison pipeline, mass incarceration, mass unemployment, homelessness and a litany of other ails and then this comes along and speaks a different language to me. It speaks to me of a weakness that is a growing disease among Black people that cannot be cut out. This is not the first time that this has happened and it will not be the last, unfortunately.

But I am not going to let the shit that Black folks do to each other, slide. When I see shit, I am calling it that and this shit makes no goddamn sense at all. A child who just celebrated his third birthday is in the hospital with his eye shot out by a piece of filth that also killed his mother and what would have been his sibling just because he wanted her to abort his baby.

Excuse me, but he didn’t know how to use a condom? He’d never heard of them? And apparently, dead Ms. Pickens had never heard of them either even though, the article goes on to state that she was attending community college and ultimately wanted to be a nurse.

Now, I could go on and on about how Ms. Pickens failed to get her education first before deciding to have children. I could go on and on about her choices over who she decided to have children with. I could go on and on about saving herself for marriage with the ‘right’ man; a man who will love and cherish her and provide for her, not by engaging in criminal acts but by the sweat of his brow. But what would be the point in that? It obviously falls on deaf ears and blind eyes.

And I know this to be true because Friday, my cousin treated me to lunch at Fogo de Chao and since it was prom night, no parking was available downtown and I had to park the car and take the bus downtown. Lawd have mercy, please! Some Black girl was at the back of the bus, on the phone, just a carrying on. I had to listen to,

“I told that nigga that his bitch called me and I don’t know how she got my number and she contacted me on Facebook and his other baby mama started up some drama with me on Facebook and I told her, bitch, you ain’t getting fucked by him, I am. That nigga know who he come home to at night and why you got a picture of my dog on your Facebook page?”

On and on, it went. I was SO goddamn embarrassed to be Black, it was unreal. From now on, if I must head downtown, I am going to first check and make sure that there is plenty of parking available and no Twins games, etc., because I refuse to subject myself to that shitload of ignorance. I wanted to go to the back of the bus and shoot her in her mouth. The least thing I should have done was pepper sprayed her ass and then stunned her. I probably would have received a standing ovation.

Now I see why what happened to Ms. Pickens is going to continue. Young Black girls of today have no respect for themselves or for the children they have with these punks who lie down with them, deposit their seed and then it is on to the next. And we wonder why the younger generation is so fucked up. I don’t. Twenty-five minutes on a bus told the story.

And now, a young woman who had her life ahead of her, lies dead and her young son is in a hospital, fighting for his life. Her unborn child is dead and the father of her unborn child is charged with their murder. Who do we blame for this?

19 thoughts on “What The Hell??!!!!

  1. In my experience, this particular problem isn’t limited to black women – pink, brown, red and yellow women seem to struggle with the same confusion over their relationships with men.


    1. Dr. Bramhall, I understand this, but I am focusing on what is happening within the Black community. I am not inferring that this only happens with Black people, but if there is to be an awakening in the Black community, situations such as this need to be talked about. This was not prevalent in my ‘salad days’ and it should not be prevalent now, but it is.

      Those of my generation had much more respect for themselves than what we are seeing now. And I am focusing on Black people because the face of AIDS is not pink, red and yellow, it is Black. Every piece of statistical data points to the rise in AIDS cases affecting young Black women the most with the exception of possibly Black homosexual men and a few Hispanics. This is going to kill us if we don’t speak out against these young Black girls allowing themselves to become a receptacle for every thing on the streets, getting deposited into their bodies. For some strange reason they think that youth insulates them from contracting this deadly disease and other STDs that are without a cure. Not to mention, the children of these women will more than likely end up in foster care if no family members rise to the occasion.

      There are many articles to be found regarding the fact that Black women have a 20% higher HIV infection rate than white women and the reason suggested has been because of the incarceration rates of Black men. Now, this fits into this story because the boyfriend of Candace Pickens had been incarcerated and we all know what goes on inside prisons and jails. It has also been stated that the reason for the sagging pants look is because it is the ‘inmate’ style. Now, I don’t know how true that is, but this has been told to me on several occasions.

      Black men are heading to jails and prisons on gang-related charges, drug charges and anything else that can be thrown at them, they get raped and then come out and no one has checked them for HIV or any other STD. They then go from girl to girl, either infecting them or impregnating them or both. Now, I am not saying that this is the case with Ms. Pickens, but, sadly, this is the case with many.

      Black people are the face of AIDS and this was done by design. And our people need to be made aware of just what it is they are up against and to take precautions and not just continue to think that youth will protect them from these diseases and from pregnancies.

      However, I do thank you for your comment.


  2. Damn this is so sad! And what makes it worse is that her story is not unique. In these relationships, I almost always see it as cyclical-people not loving themselves enough to show their offspring how it’s done. Mom fucked up and hit her son one too many times for being like his dad that he grew up to always be on macho man mode, always ready to attack … Or maybe it was dad who was resentful-never wanted a kid so he reminded him every day with his fists.
    Dad wasn’t present so she fills that void with whomever gives her some attention, ignoring those lightbulbs that go off because she just wants a baby-someone that will love her and need her and never leave her. And maybe she is watching reality tv to see how she’s supposed to be treated.

    It’s really saddening because it could all have been avoided if she were a little more selective. Or if he were raised surrounded by love instead of constant ridicule and abuse. Now what’s to become of that little boy who is disfigured at the hands of his father? Will he perpetuate the cycle or break it?


    1. I hope you don’t mind that I highlighted your comment because it is right as rain! You have said a mouthful! It never dawned on me that those factors play into what we are seeing today and as you say, it really is sad! We have got to do better than this! We have got to because if we don’t we are even more doomed as a race of people than we are already are and that is a fact.

      We are taking blows from all sides and within our own communities from each other. We are not preparing our children for the future. Many of them are neglected and seek love and decide that the only way they’ll ever have someone to care for them is by having a baby with a man who treats them like shit and unfortunately, in Ms. Pickens case, hers ended even more badly than the other cases.

      Somehow, the cycle must be broken or we will not survive this. We have too many enemies as it is.

      Kelley, I thank so very much for that most insightful comment! You hit the nail squarely on its head! Again, thank you!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. No problem, thank YOU for shining some light on this story.
        I completely agree that we are failing our children. There are too many of us showing them the worst role models, acting out of desperation, confusion and self-hate. And we all know kids often do as we do and not as we say.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Whoever killed her. I am not too far from her age, and I can’t tell black women whom to be with or other black men what to do professionally(both are very complicated subjects I would prefer not to deal with in any comment section), but killing one’s partner is 100% wrong. No matter if the man is “completely together” or making one bad choice after another, that is wrong.

    I have heard phone conversations like that. It is not good to hear. We are lost as a group.

    If he did it, I still don’t understand why. He would only have had three kids. I hadn’t heard of a case like this involving black people before.


    1. Some of us- those who will listen- should use wisdom before going with someone of the opposite sex.

      RIP Ms. Pickens.


    2. N.S., it is not that I am sitting somewhere high on a pedestal and looking down on other Black women for their choice of mate, but it just makes no sense to me that in the day and age of so-called ‘enlightenment’, that we are still seeing so many young girls getting caught up in toxic relationships. Not to mention that they also have so little thought for themselves that they allow themselves to be called “bitches” by these so-called ‘men’ and not only that, but they refer to themselves as “bitches.”

      As I stated above, this was not prevalent in my mother’s day, her mother’s day and my day. This is some recent generational mess; from the last two generations and so that means that the cycle is not being broken, but is on repeat. And this is not something that should be on ‘repeat’. I am not suggesting that we call out the ‘date police’, but a the same time, I cannot understand what occurred to cause such a drastic change in the behavior of the last two generations. I don’t know if the explosion of technology has something to do with it or what. But we are headed in the wrong direction and that should be quite obvious.

      I am also not suggesting that Ms. Pickens should have given her boyfriend some sort of ultimatum and that it would be to get out of a gang and attempt to find a job on Wall Street or there’d be hell to pay, but babies need formula, diapers, clothing, a roof over their head and the expenses are just tremendous and gangbanging should not be an option when you decide not to use condoms, but decide instead, to engage in sex and expect no baby to come from copulation. Does anyone not think of the consequences anymore? Or even attempt to determine what is practical?

      I am only suggesting that even young people have the ability to ‘think’ and it seems as though not much of that is taking place. I don’t know. Maybe, I am projecting my ways onto people because I was very strictly raised and the thought of sex outside of wedlock was never a thought in my head. Of course, not everyone had the strict upbringing that I did and I should respect that fact. And I guess that I am a bit hard on the younger generation because I am looking at them through the eyes of my generation and I suppose that is unfair. But really, some things just make no sense to me, but then I lived a pretty sheltered life when growing up. So maybe, I have no right to speak on these things.

      Thank you for your comment N.S.


  4. If you really thought your concerns fell on “deaf ears” and “blind eyes”, why would you bother presenting the issues in this format. There is hope, and it comes in the form of; knowledge and love:
    Love drives out hate and fear.
    Knowledge drives out ignorance.
    Just as light drives out darkness.


    1. Welcome Ronbrownx and thank you for your comment. Why, indeed? I was speaking out of frustration. Because I wish that there was more that I could do than simply be outraged over the horrific senseless death of a young lady and her unborn child and the shooting of her young son by her boyfriend.

      I was also speaking of the probable fact that if I had attempted to engage the obnoxious young woman on the bus in a conversation about her demeanor, it would more than likely have ended badly as she would not have wanted to hear what I had to say. And these young girls do seem to be blind to the fact that they are instrumental in the disrespect to which they are treated; not only that, but they disrespect themselves, as well.

      As obnoxious as some of these young ladies seem to be, I highly doubt that they would listen to words of wisdom nor take the time to observe how a lady should conduct herself and act accordingly.

      “Love may drive out hate and fear” but it seems to me that these girls are looking for ‘love’ in all the wrong places and are finding everything but love.

      I thank you for the ‘follow’ and again for your comment!


      1. I only wish they would listen and not take offense, which is what I suspect would happen because some are just too full of themselves and are of the opinion that they ‘know everything’. So, I wouldn’t even know where to start.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I agree once again. There would have to be SOME willingness to listen. Maybe some would, maybe some wouldn’t but if just one got it, it would be worth the effort. I like to start with definitions, in this case; what is Love?

        Love never gives up
        Love is patient
        Love is kind
        Love is not boastful
        Love cares for others more than self
        Love loves the truth
        Love is slow to anger
        Love is tolerant
        Love looks for the best in others
        Love is persevering

        Some learn different from others. Some have to see examples; see love at work. We have to meet them where they are in order to lift them up. We can’t talk over their heads. It’s not too late…yet!
        Love environment would have to be one which provides a willingly captive audience (i. e. classr


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