My Father Is Dead And Long Gone!

fathers dayone

My father is dead and long gone
and I was never daddy’s little girl.
He just tossed his children away,
leaving us fatherless in a cold and cruel world.

Oh, he was dead long before he died.
And his death was never even felt.
You cannot miss what you did not have,
and we just played the hand we were dealt.

Now, this may sound like I am jaded and angry,
but it happened so many years ago.
And time has a way of dulling the pain.
Through the years, even little children grow.

And so, without further ado,
I’d like to take this opportunity
to thank my dear old departed dad
for refusing to do his fatherly duty.

Despite the fact that he was not a father,
 as far as I am concerned, I turned out okay.
 But still, every child needs a father,
 and not just for today, but every day!

Written by,
Shelby I. Courtland
©2016 Shelby I. Courtland

I hope everyone enjoyed their Father’s Day celebrations. I thought I would post this late seeing as how it is not exactly a ‘feel good’ Father’s Day post. However, some of us did not have REAL fathers or men who actually took being a father, seriously. My dad loved women and drink more than anything in this world and since he did, we were sorely neglected. Every gift he ever bought me was thanks to my mother having had to threaten him over it and every gift he bought me is still somewhere in my old room in the family home. As far as I am concerned, he could have taken them with him to hell.

But be that as it may, have a Happy Father’s Day and to the dads who still have an opportunity to change the way you are parenting if your particular brand of ‘parenting’ is anything like what I have expressed here, I would get on with it if I were you. Time’s a wasting and your children will not thank you for it, as you can see.

10 thoughts on “My Father Is Dead And Long Gone!

    • I am sorry to know that nidotopianwarrior. I don’t even grieve for mine especially when I recall the words he said that will never be unheard by young ears that grew up. And to think that I even went back to take care of him when was eaten up with cancer and did I throw any of that in his face? No. I simply rolled up my sleeves and did what needed to be done even when my own mother, his wife refused to do it. And people have the nerve to ask me “Why are you SO far away from your family?” I simply say, “If you knew them or even knew of them, you would not even ask!”

      Nidotopianwarrior, from what little I know of you, you turned out just fine! Stay strong man!

      And thank you for your comment!

      Like

  1. my old man had a headache which was of course my fault and ate a 12ga aspirin. you see i got my mom pregnant just to piss off the old man and screw up his life. yeah, i am that selfish.

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    • Oh Skulz! Maybe, I should not have posted this! I am SO very sorry! I know it’s more than likely been decades, but I don’t care what anyone says, what children are subjected to, it never leaves them and I just thought that by posting this, I could hopefully get through to one person who is ignoring or being otherwise, ‘unavailable’ for their children because children grow up so fast and time is a’wasting.

      I had no idea that when I posted this that I would be reading, already, 2 comments and 2 suicides. Although, truth be told, my daddy drank so much, I would have been surprised if he did not get cancer and some people claim that he drank himself to cancer and refused to get any medical treatment for it before it was too late simply because he did not want to put up with my mother any longer. Everyone seems hell bent on blaming the fuck ups in their life on others, but fathers and mothers have no right to put the burden on their children for what they bring about. I am appalled and here I was thinking that my situation was beyond the end of enough. I need to just sit the fuck down and shut the fuck up!

      Again, I am SO, SO very sorry Skulz! I wish I could give both you and nidotopianwarrior, a hug!! Bless your beautiful hearts!

      Liked by 1 person

      • Shelby, i’ve never cared for “Father’s Day” i find the celebration to be hypocrisy. but, hypocrisy is as ameriKKKan as is mass murder and the NRA. we live in one fucked up nation.

        Liked by 1 person

      • “we live in one fucked up nation”

        I second that! I’ve certainly never cared for Father’s Day seeing as how it was a slap in the face, in my opinion. And it was never over fast enough to suit me. Thank you Skulz!

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  2. I’ve just started following your powerful posts Shelby – here’s a poem to add to the conversation’

    The Last Time Father Came to Visit

    He makes no sign, looks nowhere,
    but he is there,
    features pencilled in on a face
    for me to recognize
    but not for me to see.

    When sunlight comes, I will tremble
    with anger, I will say:
    How dare you impose a claim –
    how dare you invade my house and infect
    my brain with memories
    that never were.

    But in the night of the child, I
    tremble like a child, shrinking
    from a modest goblin of the night,

    who does nothing,
    who says nothing.
    Just like the old days.

    (Published by Mushroom Dreams, 2001 and Laboring Poets, 2008)

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you tosca1953! That poem does indeed, fit in with this post! I had no idea that when I posted this that I would get this reaction, but I should have. There are hardly any ‘picture perfect’ families. They are all too likely to be dysfunctional and fucked up in some way. And then we wonder why our children are not able to resist peer pressure and so they succumb to the lure of drugs and misogyny and everything in between. I sincerely thank you for posting that poem, once again!

      Like

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