Missouri man who identified as an “imperial wizard” of a Ku Klux Klan group was found dead on a river bank Saturday, according to authorities.
An autopsy found that Frank Ancona, 51, died from a gunshot wound to his head.
This just in from my cousin Bubba down south who is three times eight removed! Bubba sent me this in an email to ask me to please post it on my blog about the fact that he is offering a serious REEEEward for any information that leads to the capture and arrest of person or persons yet unknown who may have committed this act against a….uhm….uh…against a….snake masquerading as a ‘human’!
Bubba’s email reads:
“Cousin Shelby, ifn yer wood, cood u pleaz hep me awt heuh and post dis on yer blawg so’s we kin git to de bottom of wut happin to muh gooood buddee heuh? I noses we ain’t reul close an all but u eez famelee even doh u was bone awn de rong side of de blanket, I nose u gwanna due de rite ting an post dis fer me. I am oferrin 2 six paks of Milwaukeee’s Best beer an a pawtial plate from muh own mawth ifn someone kin hep me fine hoo don dis awful criime.”
I had to call Bubba and write down what he said word for word because I just could not post his email in its entirety because I knew it would take too long to get through what with all the misspelled words and all. So, Bubba basically is saying, “Cousin Shelby, if you would, could you please help me out here and post this on your blog so we can get to the bottom of what happened to my good buddy here? I know we ain’t real close and all but you is family even though you was born on the wrong side of the blanket, I know you are going to do the right thing and post this for me. I am offering two six packs of Milwaukee’s Best beer and a partial denture plate from my very own mouth if someone could help me find who did this awful crime.”
Bubba, when I spoke with him was just a crying and a carrying on something awful. But in between sobs of “it just ain’t right! It just ain’t fair and who is going to host the KKK meeting tonight?, I could only make out that they’re all in a tizzy down South about what happened in Missouri.
Apparently, Bubba’s friend here was fishing on the river bank and someone shot him and stole his KKK outfit. They think it’s one of the group that did it and the reason ‘he’ did it was to take over as Supreme leader and so this here guy that got whacked had to get whacked. I know! I am long suffering what with having family members in low places, but as you all know, you can’t pick your family. We usually have a standing agreement whereas they don’t bother me and I don’t bother them but for some strange reason, Bubba thought that this rendered that agreement, null and void. I don’t know why he thought this would bother me or that I would post it, but I am for the simple reason that I always try to be helpful.
So, if anyone out there has any information as to who did this….this…uh….well….this…deed, Bubba would like you to come forward and claim your reward of two six packs and a partial denture plate and he will take care of the rest, apparently. As far as I am concerned, it would seem to be a case of “What comes around, goes around.” Just sayin’! Or you could say, “Someone killed hate!” Either way, I don’t think some people will be losing any sleep over this one other than Bubba, of course.