The Meat Eater’s Menu

If you eat ‘meat’, you’ve just got to read this!

Crows Head Soup

As vegans and vegetarians who visit restaurants know, it’s depressing to read menus vividly describing the cut, battered, fried, and grilled body parts of our friends. We scan the list of horrid realities in hopes to find something suitable to our refined and evolved cruelty-free tastes.

So, to offer these mindless gluttonous flesh-eating fiends a taste of our pain, I’ve deviously devised this fictitious menu specifically tailored to those of a bloodlust persuasion. And any offense taken is hoped for and well deserved. Enjoy.

The Meat Eater’s Menu

Now with extra GMOs and high in sodium and fats in every bite.
Brought to you by, Zombies Unite, a division of Zombies Galore, Inc.

Groin of Redneck

A tender pair of succulent testicles marinated in their own spirits, grilled to perfection. Served with a cut of pickled foreskin.

Bastard Balls

A generous portion of stir-fried jewels served in a crispy nut…

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