A Conscious Clapback…

“The ignorant black sees the noose around his/her neck as a necklace and willingly applies this noose daily as fashion, not a fatality. The blissful chews the poisonous apple of white supremacy veiled as an essential nutrient. This nutrient is of course essential— to the black demise.”

Truth, truth and nothing but TRUTH!!

Whispers of a Womanist

My posts regarding interracial dating have proved quite contentious. While uncertain if this post is productive, I’d like to take a moment to discuss the symbolic significance of said contention.

Namely, in a post authored last week, I concluded my argument by disclosing that I wished I could find happiness in those of the black diaspora who find love outside their race/ethnicity. A reader found my in my inability to bear contentment towards interracial dating a cause for sympathy and authored a comment to reduce the totality of my argument to a single sentence. Another reader performed a similar deed, stating that we are all “god creatures” and “you love who you love.” These ideologies are the catalysts for this post.

There is a certain feeling that accompanies anyone that dares to think outside the parameters of white supremacy. All the things that you used to do, now take on a…

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8 thoughts on “A Conscious Clapback…

  1. It’s really hard for me to weigh in on this debate, Shelby, owing to my view that so-called “romantic love” is a myth foisted on us my the capitalist media in order to better exploit all the free labor women are expected to provide in a capitalist society. If “love” is the only argument people are putting forward to justify (to themselves mainly) their interracial relationships, it would be my view they are probably deceiving themselves.

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    • They are deceived as well as deceiving themselves. But if love does exist, and I am somewhat doubtful of that since I have not seen a teaspoonful of it, then men should have long since recognized all the hard work that women do and we do it for nothing or as the ‘capitalistic media’ would have it, ‘we do it for love’, and still, we are taken for granted.

      I have been married and I must say, the woman NEVER stops working. It is expected of us to work outside the home and inside the home. The man does nothing even close to what women do in a relationship and especially, a marriage. And when children are added into the equation, it only gets worse. There is no such thing as 50/50. My marriage was more like 99/1 and I was the 99. And I know plenty of other marriages that were just like mine. And yet, after that one and only marriage, I refused to ever be a ‘pack mule’ again and yet, another woman married the piece of garbage that I discarded. Now, what does that say for women? Not much, I’m afraid. I have no intention of ever putting myself into that predicament again. ‘Marry for love’, ha! That is laughable!

      Dr. Bramhall, I thank you for that spot on comment!

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  2. At my advanced age I do realize that I have ‘loved’ and been loved, but even now I also realize I have never been ‘in’ love (experienced romantic love) as those times that I have loved someone it was a conscious decision to love them. I also realize that while I haven’t always loved myself, I do love myself now (as I have for a number of years), but the act of loving myself has made it much easier not to give into the whims of being ‘in’ love with someone. At this point in my life I get a degree of satisfaction realizing that I am willing to do whatever I can to make life easier for my husband, while concomitantly hoping to be healthy enough to enjoy a few years all to myself before I depart this veil of tears …

    When my son was young I told him I would always love him no matter what, but that sometimes his behavior made it impossible to like him, and that was all right because he could change his behavior. Understand, as Jon is severely retarded he had no concept of what I was saying, but saying it made it easier for me TO love him no matter what. Loving someone ‘no matter what’ is a choice, but for me, while loving romantically may be exciting, it cannot last and I would rather live my life well, rather than live it going from that romantic high time and time again.

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    • Wolfess, thank you for that most insightful and honest comment. I think that I am an anomaly in so many different ways, it ain’t even funny and I’m not bragging, I’m just saying. I don’t think I have ever really loved anyone because if I did, I would not say, ‘think’ because I would know, I suppose. See? I cannot even definitively state it here. I claim to have loved my siblings and even moaned and groaned and shed major tears when one of them died, but truth be told, I never think of her other than when her birthday comes around and even then, sometimes, I forget it until after the date has passed. My dad died and I don’t even think of him and I cannot say that it is solely because I left home at an early age and hardly ever looked back. I stayed away from my hometown because in my heart of hearts, if I’ve got one that is, I think I hated them if I want to be honest and I think I took this into marriage when I had a family. To me, my son was just absolutely too clingy, selfish and lazy, just like his father and they both irritated me more than anything else. I would have to take breaks from both of them and spend weekends away in hotels just to get some peace of mind from their neediness. I have never been the needy type as I have always did for myself and that is why it was not too hard for me to leave my marriage and never look back.

      And even today, my son and I don’t even speak and it does not even bother me. In fact, I am relieved. I have been told that I am a ‘people’ person, but that only means that when I choose to be around people, I am great with them, but I am a loner at heart and really, deep down, I despise ‘people’. I can shed a tear when someone is suffering and I can bemoan the plight of someone who is homeless but at the end of the day, I can let all of that just slide right off my shoulders and sleep soundly; knowing that I am incapable of whatever ‘love’ really is and so I don’t lose any sleep over wondering if the person I claim to ‘love’ loves me. I don’t know, maybe, I am not an anomaly; maybe there are many people out there like me. I hope not, but it’s possible. All I do believe is that I have never truly loved or been ‘in love’ and as stuck in my ways as I am at this late date, I don’t see that ever changing.

      Again, I sincerely thank you for your comment. It gave me food for thought on where I stand.

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      • “Again, I sincerely thank you for your comment. It gave me food for thought on where I stand.” As your comments have for me …
        I think we are very much alike concerning our parents — I didn’t even go to my mother’s funeral as I had closed that door many years b4 she shuffled off! And where my son is concerned … i took care of him as long as I could, but when I knew I would no longer be able to deal with his violence (he does NOT have Down’s) I sought help from ENCOR and wound up even having to fight them, but in the end he did leave our home, and like you, I never looked back. In fact, his ENCOR caseworker called to say that “just b/c he is gone now doesn’t mean he will be permanently” so I told her “if you send him back I cannot promise something won’t happen to him and if it does, I WILL NAME YOU CO-RESPONDENT!” There have been times when I’ve wondered how he’s doing, and I no longer wish him any ill will, but the times I think of him are fleeting, and then I move on. *He was born the day Elvis Presley died — August 16, 1977*

        Liked by 1 person

      • I hate to say this but it’s true, I did not attend my father’s funeral, nor did I attend my sister’s funeral. That is how little they meant to me. I have a granddaughter who I have only seen about three times and that was three times too many. I honestly wish that I could say that I came from nobody and nowhere as I can relate to no one, really.

        ‘Love’ in my book, is overrated and extremely tiresome because I do believe that most people just use each other for different reasons and call it ‘love’. Because when the shit hits the fan, it seems so easy for them to turn ‘love’ off like it is a spigot.

        You did what you felt you should do and that is exactly what you should have done. You know yourself better than anyone will ever know you and so you know what’s best. My problem is that I would second guess myself most times and I always thought it was something wrong with me and that it was my fault; anything and everything that happened. I no longer think this way and believe me, that has made all the difference in the world. I was not put on this earth to cater to the needs of others, nor have other people’s emotions control me. I am here for me and me alone and I am totally fine with that.

        Thank you for another spot on and revealing comment.

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  3. I read a book about menopause a number of years ago (when I had just begun it) and the author said that if we don’t deal with all the things that have made us angry over our lifetime that anger will be with us until we die. Who I am now is the result of dealing with that anger, and I feel comfortable with myself and my life (not that I don’t experience anger anymore, I just find it much easier to forgive myself and move on). I would even go so far as to say that I enjoy my life now — except for what that orange idiot in power does — I enjoy waking up in my house, and deciding what I will do with the day, and not having to go to work, or spend my day taking care of people who only care as long as I do everything they want.
    Have a blessed day Shelby, and do what gives YOU pleasure! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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