The Anti-Blackness of American “Love”

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A most excellent piece Darryl!

Zone of Non-being

I hate the way American society conceptualizes romantic relationships. The concept of “love” is typically framed as a progress narrative – whereby “marriage” is the highest form and product. Intimate connections are reduced to linear equations. Whenever people speak of love, I imagine a bunch of CEOs in a boardroom pointing at a graph with a sharp incline. For Americans, love always needs a goal. It cannot just be. This partially explains why 50% of marriages end in divorce: once couples tie the knot, ending the relationship is the only destination.

From the typical American perspective, married couples are the most qualified to speak about “real love” – while unmarried couples lack the credentials to do so. Married couples are seen as more experienced, matured, and developed; while unmarried couples are seen as less experienced, immature, and undeveloped. This entire frame of mind mirrors a racist discourse…

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2 thoughts on “The Anti-Blackness of American “Love”

  1. In my view, the American concept of love is a totally manufactured concept designed to enhance consumption. Young people experience immense pressure to pair up (or experience humiliation and shame in front of their pairs) and to marry and “build a life together.” Building a life together always entails consumption and deeply indebting themselves to buy an diamond engagement ring, hold an extravagant wedding, buy a house, remodel it and have babies. Having babies usually incurs the most debt of all and some couples never recover from it.


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