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A most excellent piece Darryl!
I hate the way American society conceptualizes romantic relationships. The concept of “love” is typically framed as a progress narrative – whereby “marriage” is the highest form and product. Intimate connections are reduced to linear equations. Whenever people speak of love, I imagine a bunch of CEOs in a boardroom pointing at a graph with a sharp incline. For Americans, love always needs a goal. It cannot just be. This partially explains why 50% of marriages end in divorce: once couples tie the knot, ending the relationship is the only destination.
From the typical American perspective, married couples are the most qualified to speak about “real love” – while unmarried couples lack the credentials to do so. Married couples are seen as more experienced, matured, and developed; while unmarried couples are seen as less experienced, immature, and undeveloped. This entire frame of mind mirrors a racist discourse…
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