‘Trophy Wife’


How long will my looks hold up?
And when will he stop considering me, his ‘Trophy Wife’?
Today, I was told that I didn’t look a day over 35.
Tomorrow, I’m making an appointment to go back under the knife.

My personal trainer helps me keep fit.
I nibble on a piece of lettuce at every meal.
What I wouldn’t give to eat a bowl of ice cream,
and for just a slice of chocolate cake, I’d kill.

If only he would stop eyeing those younger girls,
and love me for all that I’ve given to him;
two sons and a daughter and my devotion,
but those younger girls, what I wouldn’t give to be them.

Tonight, I must make another great impression.
His boss is coming over to seal a deal
and he has laid out for me to wear,
a little black dress and shoes with a stiletto heel.

Sometimes, I think he’d prefer it if I broke my neck,
as I teeter across the carpet serving up hors d’oeuvres.
I bet his secretary is all set to take my place
if my boyish figure begins to form curves.

I wonder if the other ‘Trophy Wives’ are like me,
always doubting their ability to hold on to their man
and if they too, long for the forbidden slice of chocolate cake,
or have they no problem keeping up this pretense of love as long as they can?

Written by,
Shelby I. Courtland
©2017 Shelby I. Courtland

22 thoughts on “‘Trophy Wife’

    1. True, Rajiv! Unfortunately, the emphasis is on women to never look old, don’t even get old because we will be replaced. Men can have hair flowing out of their nostrils, a paunch, a bald spot, but women must never have a thickening waistline, she must forever remain pencil thin, keep the wrinkles at bay, and still, it is not enough for youth will win out over plastic surgery and personal trainers, damn near every time. The ‘Trophy Wife’ can and will be exchanged for another one; just look at the situation with America’s current president.

      I thank you for your comment.

      Liked by 4 people

      1. Indeed it was a tough choice Rajiv and so I just could not bring myself to make it. I have been lambasted for sitting this election out and accused of heralding in Donald Trump, but I’ll just have to ‘stand accused’ because there was no way in hell that I was going to stand in line and vote for either of those two evil, racist, corrupt windbags! Just wasn’t going to happen.

        Liked by 3 people

      2. Yeah, I can quite imagine your predicament, I would not have voted either,

        In India, we now can go to the polling booth, and put in a vote saying “None of them”.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. You never know!

        I can tell you, we have a sorry bunch of leaders ourselves.

        Currently, Ivanka is set to be serenaded in lndia. It seems they locked up beggars prior to her visit, in order to give a good impression to her

        Liked by 1 person

    2. Not only narcissist men but also fake and superficial women. I’m not into the women vs men debate, as black people we all have are share of the blame. I would love to see, if only for a year black females be natural, wear their own hair and ditch the makeup and represent real “black beauty”. I think black females have a power that men do not possess. Black females need to take a stance, I am a black male, and as much as I love ❤️ black females, none of them could convince me to go under the knife. Black females should be the same way. Speaking for myself and the black males I have been around. Black males are not requesting black females to get weaves with blond highlights and fake eyelashes, I think black females have bought into the European aesthetics. I think black females have a lot of control over how they choose to represent themselves to the world. If black men are to shallow to appreciate real natural beauty, then black females should be willing to be alone and take one for the team. I am speaking from a black male perspective but no woman has been able to convince me to put on makeup, or a weave in my hair or even get me to workout. Black females do possess a power that black males do not, I think they should utilize this power to better the black collective. At the end of the day I think men are cheating for different reasons other than just aesthetics. I’ve seen black males cheat on fine black women with women that were not even half as fine, just because those women made themselves available. But the way black females are representing themselves as want to be white females is disturbing and sends the wrong message to our offspring!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Well, I can’t speak for all Black females, I can only speak for me and what I’ve seen. Decades ago, the Afro or bush was in, then came the press ‘n curl and then came the relaxers and now, it appears that the ‘bed head’ is in; the “I just got out of bed and yes, I am natural, but to hell with it, I’m going out with my hair sticking out everywhere!” I am SO not down with that!

        When I was a little girl, I hated every other Saturday because it was ‘hair day’, meaning my mother would wash our hair, blow dry it, comb it out and section it into 4 different sections to straighten it. My head was sore for days afterwards as she pulled the naps out with the comb. I was so damn glad to get a relaxer slapped up in that mess because no indeed, I was NOT ‘happy to be nappy’. Now, I am not in any way, putting down those who want the naps and who must find all sorts of hair care products just for the natural look. But the fact of the matter is that no matter how Black women wear their hair, there are products that are needed to encourage the hair to be healthy, to grow, to be strong and to look decent. My hairstylist has my hair flowing down my back and yes indeed, I am proud of my long, flowing tresses. I don’t even need relaxer re-touches often because she has my hair so healthy, even when it is my week to go see her, I look like I’ve already been to the salon.

        So, again, regardless of whether or not we go natural or our hair is relaxed, neither comes with just a ‘wash n go’. Look up ‘how to take care of natural hair’ and you will find that plenty of Black women are having a time of it trying to find products to help them deal with their natural hair. That’s just not my cup of tea.

        As for what ‘true beauty’ is and how it is defined, I’ll define that for me and I’ll not allow someone else to do that for me. I’ve already stated the reason that someone had best be slapping a relaxer in my hair, but as far as weaves, fake nails and going under the knife, that’s not for me.

        There are those of us who know how we want to look and it is not so much as copying a look, but what we want. And then there are those who will attempt to copy celebrities and the like, that’s on them.

        And with regards to relationships with Black men, I can speak on that also and state that they are the very reason why I refuse to date because Black men got issues that they don’t want to deal with and I ain’t got time to be ‘mother’ to some needy ass man. I am not going to take over as his mother, been there, done that because I was married to that and I divorced his ass and now, he is someone else’s problem. Nor am I going to put up with being called out of my name. The disrespect that Black men have for Black women is off the chain and I refuse to be disrespected by something that should know better. Like I stated previously, it is not my place to assume the role of ‘mother’ to a man to teach him all the things his own mother neglected to teach him.

        If I see a Black MAN, I’d know what to do with him, but I ain’t seen one. So, it goes both ways, if as you say, Black women got issues, Black men most definitely do and I have no problem ‘sleeping single in a double bed’ each and every night because I’m not settling for someone that’s disrespecting me, nor am I going to play ‘mama’ to a grown ass man.

        I thank you for your comment.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Thanks for sharing that! It’s a very familiar story, many black women have horror stories of getting their hair done at the kitchen table and getting burned and hit with the comb and so forth. I have my on hair nightmares when I was young from getting S Curls, Jerry Curls and wanting straight hair. I guess my point is regarding black females and black males, it’s not that black females encouraged me to mutilate my hair and put earrings in my ears, this is happening because we are in a System of Racism White Supremacy that promotes anti blackness from the cradle to the grave and the programming is continuous and nonstop. I’m sorry to hear about your relationships woes with black males. This too is because of the System of Racism White Supremacy. According to Compensatory Counter Racist Logic, there is no such thing as a black women or men within the System of White Supremacy. The only men and women are White men and White women. Black people have been forced to function in a childlike manner, having to depend on white people for our needs. This produces mass dysfunction between black males/females relationships. We are stuck in a vicious cycle where black females are not able to maximize the development of their black male or female offspring. Likewise the black male who is attempting to be a father will be inadequate too, from not being properly prepared to function effectively and efficiently within a Racist society. I would submit that black males do not know better, I know I did not and I’m still learning now. Knowledge is demonstrated and when you have black males and females behaving as children, with the black females having bought into the fairy tale relationship dynamic of the white female with the fancy car, white picket fence, and six figure job and the black male also buying into the idea of an American dream, a dream that is increasingly becoming more difficult for white people to obtain, it ends up being an American nightmare for black people. The black female and the black male, not fully comprehending, that they are in the most powerful System of White Supremacy and that war has been waged against them. As long as there is a System of Racism White Supremacy we will continue to see mass dysfunctional behavior in our black relationships, until our focus shifts from existing in this system to understanding White Supremacy so that we can replace it with a system of Justice (balance between people) we will see more of the same. I am really glad to hear you say, you will not settle for being disrespected and you don’t mind being alone until the right black male comes along. That’s music to my ears, even though I hope he comes quick for you, I appreciate your discipline not to rush into anything. If more black males and females ask each other a lot of questions about everything before hitting the bedroom first and asking questions later, I think we can improve our relationship dynamics. I could be in error but I do think black females have a lot more influential power with black males, that is not being utilized. Great poem and post I found it to be very constructive. #BlackSelfRespect


      3. Thank you for that. You brought up some really great points. Not one relationship in my family has ever worked out. Everyone is divorced and some, several times over. And even though the situation is bad in speaking of how this relates to Black relationships, since the overall divorce rate is around 50% of all marriages ending in divorce, then I think that this speaks of a problem, irrespective of ethnicity.

        When I wrote this poem, I really did have whites in mind because when Black men start making millions, they tend not to look around for a Black woman. They, apparently, think that the perfect ‘Trophy Wife’ for them is a white female, who if they were not rich, would not spit on them if they were on fire to help put it out. Obviously Michael Jordan, Kobe Bryant, John Legend, O.J. Simpson, Sidney Poitier, Supreme Court Justice, Clarence Thomas, James Earl Jones and many others thought that only ‘Trophy Wives’ come with white skin. And even Black men who are dirt poor are choosing white women over Black women and where I am now, it is an epidemic. I have no idea who Black women are dating, unless it’s old men because the young ones all want the white girls.

        My own son will not date a Black woman for all the tea in China. He married a white woman, got her pregnant and the child will have nothing to do with anyone other than her father on the ‘Black’ side of the family. We have more problems than we think. Many of these children grow up to identify with their ‘whiteness’ and what I am seeing is the ‘Black’ being bred out of them. I sat across from a child a few weeks ago and she was with her grandparents. The child looked like neither. She had blond hair and blue eyes and her complexion was almost ghostly, but her father was Black. She is just one of many that I have seen. Even my own granddaughter could pass for white and she has stated that as soon as she comes of age, that is just what she intends to do. My mother is appalled because she will have nothing whatsoever to do with her or any of us. Where we are headed does not bode well for us finding our way back to each other as a people with such as this in the works.

        And again, I thank you for that wonderful, spot on comment!

        Liked by 1 person

      4. I agree you have articulated our dilemma very well. My family in reference to the divorce rate and dysfunctional behavior mirrors what you have experienced. My brother in law had 5 girls with a white woman, needless to say they are not together, she has had many plantation bucks since him but the real tragedy is how the mother practices racism on her own offspring, not properly caring for them, calling them no good “Niggers”, instilling self hate and confusing them about their identity. The girls do not have a very high opinion of black people even though their white mother mistreats them. It’s definitely a tragic arrangement. One of the daughters has already had a baby with a white male, she is attempting to breed the blackness out, it’s a shame but when you do not understand Racism what it is and how it works, everything you do understand will only confuse you. Thank you for sharing your experiences, talking about it is therapeutic! Also there are many lessons to be digested from your poem and responses.


  1. Wow. You have a remarkable style and voice, Shelby. ‘Trophy Wife’ delivers in full measure, it cuts to the bone, sharp as a blade and pointed as a stiletto. Thanks for the presence you carry with you always and for keeping it real.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Right back at you! Wow Bill, I am blown away by your compliment on this one as I had indeed, thought that I’d lost my voice because it has been awhile since inspiration has struck me enough to produce something that’s receiving compliments like yours and Rajiv’s.

      I’ve been told numerous times that I live life, vicariously, and so that may explain why I can stand in the shoes of others; get a feel for how they feel. I guess it comes with the territory of being sensitive as well. But whatever’s at work here, I am glad you like it and I am quite humbled by your comment on this one.

      Thank you!

      Liked by 4 people

    1. You are so right Leslie. We are ‘objects in A LOT of men’s eyes’ because when was the last time you heard a man say that he wanted a woman for her brains? I hope you’ve heard it because I never have. And there are just too few women who will think more of themselves than they think of men and what they want because if they thought more of themselves, they would not be in hock to a plastic surgeon, nor could they give a rat’s ass over being considered, ‘A Trophy Wife’. I’d rather live in a one-room shack all by my lonesome than listen to some man tell me what I need to do to keep myself attractive to him. Nor would I want me to be made into just another ‘trophy’ like his car or his job or whatever it is that is some sort of status symbol.

      Leslie, I thank you most sincerely for your comment.

      Liked by 3 people

    1. Well, that must be true, Dr. Bramhall because women are doing whatever they have to do to please their oppressor and this shows no signs of letting up.

      But here in Hillbilly Hollow, the ‘men’, if they can be given that dubious distinction are so hard up, they only want a woman that can cook and since I can’t cook, I have not had to beat ’em off with a stick. When they ask me if I can cook. I simply ask, “Do you mind being poisoned?” Apparently, word has spread and I am left the hell alone as far as men looking for a potential ‘wife’ in me. If that hadn’t worked, I would have pasted a false beard on my face and blacked out a few teeth with markers. Oh wait! That wouldn’t have worked because the majority of the women here already have only one tooth left. Never mind on that. However, I must say, the men here are still worms even if they’re not looking for ‘A Trophy Wife’, just someone who can cook for them.

      Dr. Bramhall, I thank you for your comment!

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Kelley! Again, I must state that I am simply floored over the enthusiasm for this one! And I do believe that you would be correct in that it would have to be an extremely ‘sad existence’ when a woman must do everything in her power to maintain her ‘status’ of ‘A Trophy Wife’ by any and every means necessary for her replacement is always waiting in the wings; a younger, more nubile ‘Trophy’ just waiting to dislodge her from her coveted ‘status’ of mere arm candy, meant to be seen and substance not required.

      Again, I sincerely thank you for your comment.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yes, you can just look at the chopped up faces of Hollywood stars. They have risked their lives for bigger breasts and scary, tight skinned faces. It’s crazy.


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