Sarah Huckabee Sanders, White House Press Secretary Was Kicked Out Of Restaurant On Suspicion Of Being Transgender

The White House is an uproar because Sarah Huckabee Sanders was kicked out of a restaurant because ‘she’ refused to show her ID to a bathroom attendant who mistakenly thought that ‘she’ might actually be a ‘he’. The bathroom attendant took one look at Sanders and said, “Excuse me sir, but I need to see your ID before allowing you into the Ladies Restroom. There are ladies in there who may not be comfortable using the restroom with a man.” Sanders refused to produce ‘her’ ID for inspection citing laws that precluded ‘her’ from having to do so and was bodily thrown out of the restaurant. The CEO of the restaurant chain reached out to Sanders to assure ‘her’ that the restaurant’s staff would be -retrained to make sure that incidents of this nature would not happen in the future.

Sarah Huckabee Sanders, then chose another restaurant to feed at(The Purple Duck) and this time she was asked to leave by the owner citing an 1850’s law that barred flaming liars from dining in restaurants where honest, decent folk were partaking of a meal. Huffing and puffing from having expended much time and energy on just trying to sit down to a meal, Sanders screamed, “How dare you accuse me of lying. I work for Donald Trump, who is YOUR president. You will show respect for him by allowing me to dine at your establishment. Now get out of my way. I am going back to my table.” The owner then told her staff to collect all plates, utensils and glassware from the table and refuse to take an order for food or drink.

Those in Sanders party turned to Sanders and demanded an explanation as to why they were being refused service. Sanders then explained about the 1850’s law barring flaming liars from dining in restaurants with honest, decent folk. All to a one, Sander’s group jumped up, threw down their napkins and stalked out, leaving Sander’s to follow in their wake. They were heard mumbling that it just wasn’t fair to hold them accountable for their job of lying for Trump. They merely had a job to do and though it isn’t easy, someone has to do it.

The group then made their way back to the White House, whereupon, Sarah Huckabee Sanders went into ‘her’ office and repaired ‘her’ makeup. This is the result.

Sanders then conference-called her hungry co-workers and told them to meet her in front of the White House, a limo was waiting. Sanders and co-workers went to the Red Hen Restaurant in Lexington, Virginia expecting to be treated to the finest cuisine the state of Virginia has to offer. The party was led to a table and seated, whereupon the server, with expressions of awe on his face, approached the owner to tell her all about who had so graced their establishment with her presence. The owner upon hearing that Sarah Huckabee Sanders, White House Press Secretary for Draft-dodger-in-Chief, Donald J. Trump, was in her establishment, flew into a rage, she was that appalled that such lowlifes would enter her establishment and expect to be treated as though they were human beings as opposed to what they were; pigs to be taken out back and fed at the trough.

The owner of the Red Hen, though a bit flustered and uncertain, marched over to Sanders’ table, cleared her throat and said, “We don’t serve YOUR kind in here!” We have standards ya know! The entrance for YOUR kind is out back! Kindly step this way, if you please!”

Sanders and company got up and followed the owner of the Red Hen to a side door, which she opened and motioned for Sanders and the group to go through. On the other side of the door was an old sign still hanging by one nail. The sign read, “Colored Entrance Only!” Tacked over the top part of the sign, was a bright piece of yellow paper with the wording, “Liars For Trump Entrance Only!” Below the sign was a trough. The menu was tacked to the side of the trough and had only two drinks and two entrees listed; Horse Jizz and Cement Mixer were the drinks and the entrees were Buzzard Stew and Possum gumbo.

Outraged yet again, Sarah Huckabee Sanders slapped the owner of the Red Hen across her mouth and bellowed, “Donald Trump is going to hear about this and the tweets about this restaurant are going to put you out of business!” Sanders and her posse stalked off to the waiting limo, cursing and yelling something fierce.

When the group returned to the White House, Sanders immediately demanded an interview with Donald Trump to complain to him about her unsuccessful attempts at dining. Upon hearing of the terrible treatment of his biggest and most faithful liar, Trump did indeed, take to Twitter.

Apparently, Donald Trump missed the health and safety inspection memo on his beloved Mar-a-Lago.

Trump’s Mar-a-Lago Hit With 13 Health Violations in January

President Donald Trump may want to consider swinging by the kitchen when he visits his plush Mar-a-Lago resort this weekend.

Florida health inspectors found more than a dozen violations during a Jan. 26 check of the Palm Beach, Florida estate, according to recently published reports from the Florida Department of Business and Professional Regulations.

Three of those violations were labeled high priority, meaning they could contribute to foodborne illness. The club did, however, meet the minimum standards to remain in operation.

The high-priority violations for the club, which has a $200,000 initiation fee, were:

  • Fish prepared to be served raw or undercooked had “not undergone proper parasite destruction.” The inspectors ordered that the fish either be fully cooked or discarded.
  • Raw meats in two of the club’s coolers were over, some significantly, the regulated 41 degrees Fahrenheit. Ham was measured at 57 degrees, beef and duck were both at 50, and poultry warmed to 49. One walk-in cooler was mistakenly set to defrost, according to the report.
  • Inspectors told kitchen staff to empty broken coolers and not use again until they’re fixed.

No wonder Sarah Huckabee Sanders and other White House personnel were attempting to dine at any establishment other than one that is associated with their boss and how in the world can Trump condemn another establishment when his is in no better condition? But then we ALL know that Trump is tone deaf when it comes to negativity aimed at him or his many ‘businesses’, hence why Twitter will never go belly up as long as Trump is America’s president.  It would seem that sometimes, it just doesn’t pay to be a paid pathological liar for President Donald J. Trump. Just ask Sarah Huckabee Sanders and crew who don’t even want to eat at Mar-a-Lago even though it meets the minimum standards to remain in operation. I guess since that’s the case, I would be on the prowl for another eating establishment as well.

Chipotle, Taco Bell and the Kmart on Lake Street in Minneapolis is Closed Today!



Businesses close as immigrants stay home to protest Trump

In what has been heralded as an unprecedented attack on germs and bedbugs in America, “A Day Without Undocumented Workers,” whereas Chipotles and Taco Bells and Days Inns all across America did not open for business today, has been considered a resounding success. Also, in Minneapolis, MN, the only Kmart still standing is also closed in recognition of all the undocumented workers who work there but who are using someone else’s Social Security number. Thank You! One less ‘Identity Theft’ day!

Also, not to be outdone, Days Inn is telling its guests that they are going to have to do their own housekeeping and check-in. No reservations are being accepted today since the call center, located in Mexico City, had all its workers walk off the job in solidarity with their American counterparts. ‘The Taco Truck’ that used to be parked at the corner of Frito Lay Way and Ponce de Leon Drive in ‘Spanish Harlem’ New York will not be there as usual. A notice on a nearby post reads,

“En solidaridad con nuestros hermanos y hermanas indocumentados, ¡cerraremos el día!” “In solidarity with our undocumented brothers and sisters, we will close for the day!”

Although, this move was anticipated, it is having far reaching effects on many communities, nationwide. Americans who did not stock up on refried beans, tacos, Guacamole, tamales and fajitas are finding it difficult to obtain these items if guests are clamoring for them at dinner parties. To make matters worse, grocery stores are selling out of fajita and taco kits. Liquor stores nationwide are reporting a run on tequila and Corona. Also, roofing companies are reporting that their work crews are a no-show. California is having a hard time finding American workers to tend the fields as no one has come in to pick the harvest. A request was posted in the California Produce Growers Gazette for any Americans willing to bend over fields of corn, string beans, squash, watermelon and cantaloupe. Also attached to the request was the wording, “This does not apply to descendants of slaves as you have more than done your part!”

Activists called on [undocumented] immigrants to stay home from work, avoid shopping and eating out and skip classes in an effort to highlight the vital role they play in American society. This will make it extremely difficult for ICE officials(Immigration and Customs Enforcement)to pick you up and process you for deportation.
Churches are rolling out the red carpet to assist with any who may be swept up by ICE raids and a standoff will commence between church and state. Several DREAMers, short for Development, Relief and Education for Alien Minors Act, who were given the ‘all clear’ under the Obama Administration are now fair game under the new Trump Administration. Churches, seen as safe havens are now harboring fugitives from justice; people who have stolen the identity of others and who are using it to remain in this country.

One reporter caught up with a regional manager at Chipotle and when asked why had Chipotles closed nationwide, had this to say, “Please keep my name out of this but the majority of our work force is undocumented and if not for those who know how Mexican food should be cooked, we could not stay in business. Americans do not know how to cook Mexican food. We do realize that what we are doing is illegal, but so is using deformed chickens, but we use them anyway; that profit margin thing you know and why pick on us, everyone knows that Smithfield Meat Packing Plant hires only undocumented workers as does Taco Bell and the Kmart on Lake Street in Minneapolis, MN!”

And even the Pentagon is getting in on the action.

At the Pentagon, about half a dozen food outlets were forced to close after staff members joined the protest, including a Starbucks, a Taco Bell and a Burger King, according to a Defense Department spokesman.

Since the closing of these restaurants, no one at the Pentagon has come back to work after lunch complaining of nausea, diarrhea, upset stomach, vomiting and heartburn. This is suspected as the real reason employees at the Pentagon joined in the protest; they were tired of missing work thanks to gastric disturbances that occurred right after lunch, mainly after eating at Taco Bell.

One upside to this movement is that it is occurring during the winter months and so it has no noticeable effect on yard work. We expect this standoff to have been worked out by the time grass cutting and serious tree trimming work is necessary. Thankfully, so far, not much snow has fallen across the country that would lead to a mass shutdown of services due to a shortage of workers willing to shovel snow. Those of us who employ undocumented workers do so because we can. And just as soon as all of this blows over, we will give our contacts in Mexico, a call and our profits will be back in the ‘black’.

Americans just do not understand the absolute necessity for undocumented workers. If you will not clean your homes, cut your grass, re-tile your roof, clean your hotel rooms and cook your burritos and tacos, someone must and we have workers who are most happy to fill these positions for mere pesos…uh…I mean pennies…uh…dollars. Plus, they can’t complain because we know that one word from us and ICE is all over their ass! And there are plenty more where they came from. So, shut the hell up and let us get on with the business of using undocumented workers to continue to keep America, grinding along! Bienvenidos a América!

Just A Reminder Of My New Year’s Resolutions! Anyone Wanna Join Me? LOL!

New Year 2016

I’ll drink until I’m drunk and then just drink some more.
I’ll cease to be a lady and just become a whore.

I refuse to brush my teeth! No need for dental floss.
Toothlessness won’t worry me. I shall not miss the loss.

I’ll never brush my hair and have bedhead all day long.
Not caring about hygiene is really not so wrong.

I’ll only eat fried foods and buy ice cream by the ton.
Chocolate cake is on the menu. Give me that honey bun!

I’ll never exercise. Who needs a nice, slim waist?
I’d rather have my food and I need more than a taste.

I’ll fart and belch in public and dare anyone to frown.
There’ll be a trail of fumes as I stroll around the town.

I will not clean my house, nor will I wash my car.
I’ll live among the filth and kick bottles from the bar.

These are my resolutions that I so intend to keep.
Who cares where I’m headed? I shan’t look before I leap.

Written by,

Shelby I. Courtland
©2013 Shelby I. Courtland

Now, these resolutions are real easy to keep! I thought that after all the shit that’s been going down, we could ALL use a little levity!

Black Medusa!

medusa 2

She will bewitch you, if you stare.
Behold her beauty, if you dare.
She’s a sultry, Grecian mystery
 straight out of Greek mythology.

Her hair of entwined snakes
 ensnares all the men she dates.
She watches you intently
 from eyes that are unfriendly.

Come closer, she won’t bite.
Never look at her in fright.
They call her Black Medusa
claims she hails from Tuscaloosa.

Though she came from across the sea,
she’s a morbid curiosity.
Do not let her near your heart,
 and don’t stay with her after dark.

She’ll spin slowly in the wind
and her serpents, she’ll defend.
You’ll become her sacrifice
 as the cobra’s strike’s precise.

Turned to stone by Black Medusa
who they say is from Tuscaloosa.
But we all know that not’s true.
She’s just a myth that grew and grew.

But is she?

Written by,
Shelby I. Courtland
©2015 Shelby I. Courtland

I dedicate this one to HungLikeJesus or as I like to call him, “HLJ!” It was born from another poem of mine titled, “To All The Men I’ve Never Loved!”

HLJ called me a “slow motion Medusa” and so this one is for you! HLJ, you said that I could send you my love as long as I stay far, far away from you. So, I’m sending this poem to you, with my love! You were my inspiration!

Bin Laden, My Precious Darling!

will the real osama please stand up

The tender sweetness of love, I once thought of as mine

And limbs that were apart were rapturously entwined.

But my love did play me false, not one word of truth, he spoke

And now I am alone again, his cock in me, he’ll never poke.

The delights of love and lust were oh so gratifying

And to be shunned by one and all, I thought was worth defying

But our love did not withstand the wholesome light of truth

A spinster, I shall remain until I am quite long in the tooth.

Bin Laden, my precious darling, I did not know that you were dead.

They tried to kill you many times and I must accept the truth with dread.

You were a dead man in my bed that I cared for so very much

The thrills I felt when in your arms, did have an icy touch

But I never concerned myself with the stiffness of your limbs

Since you wordlessly fulfilled all my wishes and my whims.

They’ll bury you a hundred times and you’ll always come back to me

We were made for each other so come back from beneath the sea!

Written by,

Shelby I. Courtland

©2015 Shelby I. Courtland

Forget all of the conspiracy theories surrounding my beloved for I mourn him still!





Be The Star Of Your Own Show!

star of the show

The duke’s daughter was a winsome little creature.
She was sought by all the fops that were in debt.
Her mind was not focused on her duty.
Nor did she care for the dandies of her set.

She approached the ‘season’ with trepidation.
Her heart wasn’t in it, not at all.
What she wanted was to be upon the stage,
and not attend yet another boring Ball.

She decided to trade places with her maid.
The two looked so very much alike.
They both were such winsome little creatures.
But her maid had qualities, unladylike.

The deception proved daunting, yes it did.
But her ladyship was headstrong more than most.
They got down to the business of trading places,
to take over the others rightful post.

Now the duke never really saw his daughter.
She was just another countless number in his brood.
His son; his heir was more important.
And the girls were eye candy to be viewed.

The transformation took place without a hitch.
The daughter of a duke began to act.
She found life quite hard in the beginning.
But she was determined to go on and not look back.

The former daughter of a duke did get her break.
She had the cutest little dimples in her cheeks.
To the stage, she took like ducks to water
And at night, she’s wined and dined by princely sheiks.

Now her likeness is married to an Earl.
He welcomes her dowry and her blushes.
Little does he know he’s been deceived,
by what he thinks is the daughter of a duchess.

Ah, the vagaries of life, what can I say
when one yearns for what the other has?
They both assume a different role,
So, let’s all jump the fence and test the grass.

Will we like what we find on the other side?
There is only one way to ever know.
Step out of your comfort zone and try,
to live life and be the star of your own show.

Written by,
Shelby I. Courtland
©2015 Shelby I. Courtland

Whatever you want to do in life, don’t let anyone or anything hold you back; not even fear. Just be the ‘star of your own show’!