And As The Seconds Tick Away Towards The New Year…

As I raise my flute in drunken glee,
I look upon what was once a live tree.
So concerned with this planet and global warming,
my resolution to do better can wait til morning.

For tonight, I celebrate with friends and acquaintances,
spreading well wishes and exchanging whispered confidences.
The wrongs of this world, for just one night
can wait a little longer for us to do what’s right.

A sick child with no health care will have to hold on
until I open my bleary eyes to greet the new dawn.
The Black man being dragged by the Ku Klux Klan
should have seen them coming, he should have ran.

Of course I care about the people who have addictions
just like I care about my neighbor who can’t afford her prescriptions.
I know about the homeless who have formed a tent city.
But for just this night, champagne will take away my pity.
And as the seconds tick away towards the New Year,
even champagne cannot stop me from shedding another tear.

Written by,
Shelby I. Courtland
©2017 Shelby I. Courtland

I wrote this one because as we celebrate the ringing out of the old and in with the new, I cannot help but believe that more misery, cruelty, suffering, chaos, war and all things of horror, will follow us into this new year and beyond, for what will have changed?

As we head to our parties tonight, break out our party favors and drink our champagne toasts at midnight, wish each other a “Happy New Year,” are we really going to think that this year will be any happier than 2017 or 2016 or 2015? What is going to change to get us to actually mean it when we say, “Happy New Year?” It will be just another year of the same because we won’t change. We will continue in our old ways of ignoring those who are less fortunate. We will pretend as though there are not wars being fought just because. We will never for a minute think that we have aided and abetted in the destruction of this planet through our selfish acts as we scream, “Happy New Year To One And All!” If we really meant that, we’d know it because it would show, but when you look around, does it show? Does it look as though we give a damn about the children who go to bed, hungry? Does it look like we give a damn about the homeless? Does it look like we care about those who are in unimaginable pain because they have no health insurance? Does it look like we are going to start doing something to hold our elected representatives accountable for the way they continuously make the working poor pay for the idleness of the rich? Does it look like the ‘new year’ will bring about a change in the human psyche which seems hell bent on self-destruction? If any of you ponder these questions, I already know what the outcome will be. Exactly how you were in 2015, 2016, 2017 is how you will be in 2018 and on and on it will go until they plant you. Because we are always going to wait til tomorrow to ‘do’ better. Just like each and every year, we are bombarded with ads to lose weight and get in shape and some people actually make a resolution to do just that and then after a month, what happens? Back to square one.

And so, I will not say, “Happy New Year!” I will merely say, “Welcome to the rest of your life!” War, misery, homelessness, joblessness, starvation, income inequality, racism, ignorance, selfishness, arrogance, greed, lust, apathy and complacency and your solutions to getting through all of this; heroin, crack, alcohol, weed, mass murder and suicide.

“Welcome, To The Rest Of Your Life! Cheers!”

You’d Leave Jesus On The Street!

 

A silent night, a lonely night,
no reindeer on the roof.
A winter moon, my eyes behold,
to my homelessness, you are aloof.

No stranger to a manger,
not a hotel bed for me.
They say that Christ was born,
in this same pitiful state was He.

We have so much in common,
just a star to guide the way.
Where are the promised Wise Men
who at my feet, their gifts, should lay?

A pair of socks and toiletries
are all the gifts I need.
For I cannot expect a roof,
since the bank did take my deed.

No hot drink to keep me warm,
a bottle of beer must do.
I can’t help but hate this holiday
because next year, this will be you.

Open your gifts and smile.
At that smartphone, you will stare.
It blinds you to reality
of the poverty, everywhere!

There are so many without hope
and no money to their name.
While your car is filled with gifts
yet your conscience knows no shame.

How can you not remember
whose birth we celebrate?
For just one day in one whole year,
and it still won’t resonate.

What we have done to those who lack
a home and food to eat,
is testament to the fact
that you’d leave Jesus on the street!

Written by,
Shelby I. Courtland
©2017 Shelby I. Courtland

A Christmas Without Gifts?

 

 

 

A Christmas without gifts?
Would it really be so bad?
Has anyone ever died
because they missed a TV ad?

Every goddamn year,
people fight over ‘smart TVs’
and camp out at a store
like trained chimpanzees.

Into the store you go.
You do exactly as you’re told.
On Monday, hit the keyboard,
and yet, another diamond sold.

What holiday is this?
Did you miss the memo too?
What happened to peace and love?
You’ve turned this earth into a zoo!

Fights broke out here!
There’s shooting over there!
You stomp each other every year
trying to buy some Tupperware!

So, you’ve got your shopping done.
For those gifts, yes you did brawl.
You found everything you need,
but was Jesus at the mall?

Now, sing your songs about his birth.
Oh, what joy it brings!
You hocked your ass to death
for all those stupid things!

Written by,
Shelby I. Courtland
©2017 Shelby I. Courtland

Today, I was asked if I had my Christmas shopping done. The question was posed by a stranger, someone who obviously did not know me. And I answered, “No one is getting a damn thing from me! They never do!” And I was quite surprised when the lady stated that she was of the same mindset and that she had ditched that shopping madness shit years ago. I told her, “Good for her!” There were others around and we had a lively conversation about this. Here in my neck of the woods, there weren’t many long lines snaking around stores waiting for them to open. Many people are as fed up with this spoon fed shop ’til you drop shit as I am and here I thought I was out in left field all by my lonesome in my views of what the ‘celebration’ is supposed to be about.

Long before Christmas even rolls around, even before Thanksgiving, we are bombarded with advertisements to spend, spend, spend money that we don’t even have but because deep discounts are touted, we are made to feel that if we don’t hock something at least, to buy that too good to miss TV deal that we are just slackers. There is never even time to sit down at a table to try and be thankful that we are alive on Thanksgiving Day because before that day and even during that day, we are told to go out and shop. We are told to buy a turkey with all the trimmings and then get right up, head out the door and make sure that we keep shareholders of corporations in the black while our financial situation is in the red.

There are many people who are living paycheck to paycheck and who can barely keep a roof over their head and with their paychecks not keeping up with inflation; the high cost of living, they are still expected to pull money out of their ass to buy gifts. What in the world could you possibly need since you go through this mess every single year? How many TVs and Keurig coffee makers, microwave ovens, vacuum cleaners, SUVs and the list is endless do you really need?

The next time you are out driving around, visit a landfill just to get some idea of what we use and then throw away. What will it take to get you to realize that those boxes, Styrofoam, plastic and associated items to keep that coffee maker secure inside that box are filling up landfills everywhere, not to mention, the toxins that come from those products are seeping into our groundwater and we are drinking them every single day. You don’t ever wonder at the price we pay for our headlong rush to get some great deals, but it will all soon come back to bite us on the ass. If you really cared for your children and your grandchildren, you would sit them down and explain to them why you are not getting them something that they’ll play with for a few minutes and then toss to the side. You would explain to them that their very lives depend on you not shopping for yet another doll, another video game, another toy and another and another.

At least I can be thankful that some people are finally waking up and realizing that they have been nothing more than mindless shopping drones who have been programmed to spend too much money to enable shareholders to happily deposit their dividend checks and to enable CEOs of corporations to buy yet another island paradise with that bonus check thanks to overzealous shopping habits because of commercials insisting that you spend yourself to death.

A Christmas without gifts? Would it really be so bad?

Fear Is Not A Halloween Mask!

 

Fear is not a Halloween mask,
 nor is it a walk through a graveyard.
Fear is waking up behind a dumpster
knowing that you can never let down your guard.

Fear is not ghosts and ghouls in fiction books,
nor is it a jack-o’-lantern’s evil grin.
Fear is having a pain in your side
and a nasty rash on your skin.

Fear is not a witch riding on a broom,
nor is it a cauldron boiling hot.
Fear is looking into an empty cupboard
and thinking of all things you haven’t got.

Fear is not a vampire biting on a neck,
nor is it a movie about a Nightmare On Elm Street.
Fear is the life you live of desperation,
hopelessness, misery and defeat.

No, we don’t need Halloween
to bring out the fear in our lives.
All we need do is live another day
to know real fear and why it thrives.

Written by,
Shelby I. Courtland
©2017 Shelby I. Courtland

As this is Halloween, we tend to think of the usual things that are supposed to instill fear in us; from evil masks to scary, haunted houses while people are dealing with real fears; fears for their children’s health and wellbeing, the fear of wondering if they will have their retail job after the coming holidays are over, fear that there will not be enough food for their families and fear that they will not be able to keep a roof over their head. There is so much to fear even as we are bombarded with advertisements on the whores of Hollywood and what unique costume they will be sporting and how they will celebrate lavishly at some party somewhere while millions of people are damn near destitute, hopeless and wondering where their next meal will come from.

We have all contributed to what we see today. We have stood silently by and watched this all unfold, but since we still have Facebook and Twitter and Instagram and whatnot, we don’t really have to look up from our iPhones and take a good look around at what is going on. It is a sad shame that we call ourselves social creatures just because we peruse ‘social media’ every single day as we become more and more removed from each other than ever before. So, don your costumes, go to your Halloween parties and post the pics on Facebook. Tweet along with our stupid and ignorant president about what a great time you had and tomorrow when the costume is lying on the floor, when you’ve received 200 ‘likes’ on your costume via Facebook, please tell us how much better off your circumstances are and that of your neighbor.

Just A Reminder Of My New Year’s Resolutions! Anyone Wanna Join Me? LOL!

New Year 2016

I’ll drink until I’m drunk and then just drink some more.
I’ll cease to be a lady and just become a whore.

I refuse to brush my teeth! No need for dental floss.
Toothlessness won’t worry me. I shall not miss the loss.

I’ll never brush my hair and have bedhead all day long.
Not caring about hygiene is really not so wrong.

I’ll only eat fried foods and buy ice cream by the ton.
Chocolate cake is on the menu. Give me that honey bun!

I’ll never exercise. Who needs a nice, slim waist?
I’d rather have my food and I need more than a taste.

I’ll fart and belch in public and dare anyone to frown.
There’ll be a trail of fumes as I stroll around the town.

I will not clean my house, nor will I wash my car.
I’ll live among the filth and kick bottles from the bar.

These are my resolutions that I so intend to keep.
Who cares where I’m headed? I shan’t look before I leap.

Written by,

Shelby I. Courtland
©2013 Shelby I. Courtland

Now, these resolutions are real easy to keep! I thought that after all the shit that’s been going down, we could ALL use a little levity!

Your Ass Is Too Good For That Rag!

american flag toilet paper

Black girl, you have known such brutality
from the slave fields to Jim Crow.
And yet they expect you to celebrate
what for you has been a hard row to hoe.

You are to get out that great American flag
and watch it wave over land you have tilled.
You have watched your mother and your father
work harder because they were unskilled.

Sit outside and watch the fireworks display.
Put a couple of hot dogs on the grill.
Don’t forget to eat some apple pie
and then head for the baseball field.

Forget about all the horrors
that this nation has heaped upon you.
Don’t think of all the innocent people
who were killed by this red, white and blue.

Remember what this nation stands for.
And that brutality is sown in the flag.
They have watered down the truth of its history.
 And your ass is too good for that rag!

Written by,
Shelby I. Courtland
©2015 Shelby I. Courtland

Happy Memorial Day To ISIS!

ISIS flagHappy Memorial Day to ISIS!
May you continue kicking ass.
I fly your flag on my front porch
and Uncle Sam can kiss MY ass!

The bombs are raining down
and here we celebrate our dead.
It’s now your turn to feel our wrath.
I’m why Middle Eastern blood is shed.

This here day is for the whores
that died on foreign shores
so that I can sit back
and watch parades and eat some chocolate s’mores.

We have learned not one damn thing
or so to me it would seem.
We’re in Iraq and Afghanistan
trying to spread America’s dream.

Don’t kid yourselves that you hate war.
If you did, where would you be?
Would you be in Iraq and Afghanistan
or would you be home with me?

Written by,
Shelby I. Courtland
©2015 Shelby I. Courtland

Yeah! I know, I am SO disrespectful! Bite me! What’s more disrespectful and hypocritical is the fact that the flag waving morons in America will set aside days to honor the ‘war dead’ but refuse to actually HONOR the ‘war dead’ by refusing to add to their numbers. So, while you wave your American flag, I’ll be waving the flag of ISIS. While you are downing apple pie and hotdogs, I’ll be sipping champagne and toasting ISIS! Kick ass ISIS! Kick ass! Oh and head on over to Saudi Arabia, they just love beheading over there since they’re the supreme beheaders. You’ve got to up the ante if you want to reign as the champion of all beheaders.

“Allahu Akbar!Death to the West!”

Another Bullshit Christmas!

holiday

My mind is racing in a way.
It’s almost Christmas day.
And I’ve still got gifts to buy.
I must heed the corporate cry!

You say you need a brand new rug.
And a fur coat to keep you snug.
And expensive jewelry would be nice.
It’s such a bargain at this price.

When I wake up Christmas morn,
I won’t think of the savior, born.
I’ll just head straight for the tree,
to see what you bought for me.

The bills are now past due,
and you turn into a shrew.
I went in debt for you,
and for little Johnny too.

Now the tree is on the curb,
and I’m smoking up some herb,
because the bills I didn’t pay,
were all due yesterday.

I’m burdened with debt, it’s true,
and number thirty in the queue,
waiting on a loan just to get us through,
another bullshit Christmas screw.

Written by,
Shelby I. Courtland
©2014 Shelby I. Courtland

Does any of this sound familiar? Anybody started to sing the, “I’m broke!,” blues yet? Bend over ’cause you’re getting screwed and don’t it hurt like hell? Nah! ‘Cause if it did, you wouldn’t passively play ‘follow the leader’ into more and more debt each and every year. You never learn. So, here we go again; another Christmas of spend, spend, spend. Oh, and let’s all get stuck at the airport trying to get to family most of us don’t even like ’cause if we did, we wouldn’t have to fly each Christmas just to see ’em(Yep, and granny Jean is still mean, damn her spiteful tongue). But, we’ve all got to impress one another with our gifts and gorge ourselves on ham and green bean casserole and then place an order for a gym membership because we’re gonna lose weight and get in shape for the new year and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Many of you most likely haven’t paid off the debt you accumulated from last Christmas. Oh, well….can’t fix stupid when stupid don’t want to get fixed. Here’s to a “Merry Corporation and a Happy Wall Street year, suckers!”

Move Over Thanksgiving Day!

shopping

I thought that I would be sad,
when I lost all that I had.
But I’m not shopping mad,
and for that I’m so damn glad.

Look at all those gifts we give.
For material things, that’s why we live.
We say we hate, but we forgive,
every corporate executive.

When is capitalism a crime
if I’m down to my last dime?
My credit gives me time,
but out of debt, will I ever climb?

Move over Thanksgiving Day!
Get it past and out of the way!
I need a shopping holiday.
‘Cause “giving thanks” is an old cliché.

Those Indians, what did they know?
Not one was a shopping pro.
That’s why they had to go.
They delivered to capitalism, quite a blow.

Just how thankful should we be,
such as an Iraqi refugee?
Oh, they love you and they love me,
since we came and made them flee.

Those in Ukraine are thankful too.
They’ve got Nazis with a swastika tattoo.
Thanks to that ever so helpful coup,
arranged by the good ole red, white and blue.

Americans are stupid and that’s for sure.
Their hearts don’t beat and their souls ain’t pure.
Compassion and selflessness will never endure.
They can’t be found in a Macy’s brochure.

So, hit the malls and department stores.
They’re selling their wares like strung-out whores.
When the gates open, feet pound the floors.
It never ends, those shopping wars.

You got hacked and now you’re back.
We assure you, we’ve stopped the attack.
Buy everything that’s on this rack.
This time next week, we’re shooting for Black!

Written by,
Shelby I. Courtland
©2014 Shelby I. Courtland

On Halloween, My Wife Will Die!

halloween

If the dead should come back to life,
would they please just take my wife?
I have a mistress that I want to marry,
but they are both so mercenary.

I want a newer, younger model,
one that walks but doesn’t waddle.
Why’d she have to get so old?
She’s gotten too big for me to hold.

I once loved her that is true,
but she’s turned into a shrew.
This sweet young thing is mine,
and hot damn, she’s looking fine!

What is a man to do,
when he’s sick and tired of you?
My wife will take me to the cleaners.
They’re all such goddamn schemers!

Why can’t they just accept it’s over?
Oh how I despise, hate and loathe her.
This would be the perfect time,
with Halloween, I could hide my crime.
Who would know that it was I?
All I’d need is an alibi.

And once the deed is done,
I’d know where to hide the gun.
No one will ever guess,
that it’s me in this wig and dress.

They’ll think my wife is going out.
In this padding, I’m just as stout.
Murder is a nasty business,
but when it’s over, I’ll wed my mistress.

On Halloween, my wife will die.
Among the dead, there she will lie.
They’ll take her hand and that’s for sure,
and be her guide on a graveyard tour.

Yes, I’m merciless and a little cold,
and just maybe, you think I’m bold
But I want what I desire.
You settle for ice, while I take fire.

You think in hell is where I’ll burn.
Well then I guess I’ll take my turn.
I’ll check in and never check out,
and present my card at the devil’s rout*.

Written by,
Shelby I. Courtland
©2014 Shelby I. Courtland

Disclaimer!!! Uh..this one is not meant to encourage anyone to do away with their spouse on Halloween. I have a twisted, warped sense of humor these days and it may not be in the best of taste, but what the hell! What is these days? Since we’re all such sinful creatures and hell bent on fucking each other up and over, I simply got into the ‘spirit’ of things.

And ladies, this applies to you too! If your spouse has a paunch and is balding, that is no reason to ‘do’ him in for a younger ‘model’. None of us are perfect, some of us are just ‘airbrushed’. But if he has to take his teeth out and put them on the nightstand, well…uh…that’s unfortunate, but it happens. Like I said, we’re not perfect.

Try to get some enjoyment out of Halloween. I know that it will be difficult but try to get a treat and not a trick. And guys, get your mind out of the gutter. I don’t mean that kind of ‘trick’.
*A fashionable gathering.