New York Lawmakers Introduce First Statewide Bill To Decriminalize Sex Work — The Most Revolutionary Act

Lawmakers in New York introduced a first-of-its-kind bill to decriminalize sex work throughout the state on Monday. The Stop Violence in the Sex Trades Act is a legislative package that “decriminalizes and decarcerates” the sex trade in New York, according to a press release from organizers at the Decrim NY coalition. If passed, it would […]

via New York Lawmakers Introduce First Statewide Bill To Decriminalize Sex Work — The Most Revolutionary Act

Below is a comment I posted on this blog.

“Sex work is work and should not be criminalized by the state,”

Well, it’s not work I’d want to be doing. But anyway, what about Nevada? Aren’t there already areas in Nevada whereas prostitution is legal seeing as how there are whorehouses there? In fact, the guy(Dennis Hof) that owned some of those whorehouses ran for public office but dropped dead before the election and yet still managed to win. I guess he is representing his constituents from the grave? Hey! I’m not knocking it since all politicians may as well ‘govern’ from the grave since they basically act dead by getting not a damn thing done, year after year after year.

Below is the response I received.

Good point about Nevada, Shelby. It’s also legal in several European countries – and here in New Zealand. We have 2 brothels here in New Plymouth (that’s how they’re listed in the Yellow Pages). Benefits are very low here and with the scarcity of living wage jobs for females, sometimes it’s the only way women can make sure their kids get breakfast and lunch and have shoes to wear to school (there’s still far too many who go shoeless).

Now, my response to that.

“Dr. Bramhall, I have had nothing in the fridge and even less in the freezer and still, turning to prostitution never entered my mind. My body is just too precious to me to risk getting multiple STDs by having multiple sex partners when we know that condoms are not absolutely foolproof. Who is going to take care of those children when the prostitute mother is dead from AIDS? There is no excuse for prostituting oneself. That is a cop-out if ever I’ve heard one.”

I do understand that many people believe that prostitution should be legal since it has been proclaimed as “the oldest profession in the world,” but be that as it may, with what is going down today, what with the ‘incurable clap’, AIDS, herpes, genital warts and the list is endless, continuing to justify prostitution and ALL things of a sexual nature as being fine and dandy is, in my opinion, not the best way to go about empowering people.

Is anybody aware of the statistics of sex workers who are filled with STDs? My cousin went to a doctor’s office in Baltimore, MD and he told me that there was a bulletin board up with multiple vaginas on it, all from Black females, and the vaginas were loaded down with the most horrible stuff he’d ever seen. It was meant to encourage people to take their health seriously and to understand that there are plenty of gross and nasty disease riddled people out there who are just spreading diseases around. I asked him if there was a bulletin board set up showcasing what infected dicks looked like and he said “No.” The concentration seems to be on what the woman’s infected vaginas look like so that men, if they see that nasty looking shit, should steer clear of it.

I would rather starve to death than take up prostitution and believe me, I have starved. Poverty is damn near every American descendant of slaves, birthright. If no one on this planet knows poverty, we do. And when my apartment burned to the ground, I was homeless and walked by two men after having left my burned out shell of an apartment with the few items I could find that hadn’t been burned beyond hope and both looked at me and one said, “I know you’ve got nothing since you’ve just been burned out. How about coming upstairs with us and make a little money?” Their fucking ears are still ringing and that was so long ago, it ain’t even fucking funny! I cussed their damn asses out SO goddamn bad, I blushed! But NEVER did I EVER think so little of myself as to lie back and have some sort of ‘sex’ with strange assholes for something to eat. I’d take myself to a soup kitchen first.

And AGAIN, to state that prostituting oneself is okay if you need to put food on the table for your kids is just what I’ve stated, a cop-out because who is going to put food on the table for the kids when the mother is in the hospital, breathing her last because of complications from AIDS? This shit out there is killing people and to encourage prostitution in this day and age is to give someone a death sentence. This shit ain’t fucking playing with our asses! Who in hell wants to walk around with jelly bumps on their private parts? Who wants cauliflower type shit on their private parts? And if you said, “Yes!” Really?

When I lived in Minnesota, in the public library, I overheard a conversation whereas this woman was telling a man that she HAD genital warts but that she was cured. I’m saying to myself, “Bitch, please! You still got genital warts. There ain’t no cure for THAT shit!” People are seriously deluding themselves if they think that the shit they pick up can be cured with a shot of penicillin.

What I don’t understand is why are we hell bent on making every sex act including sodomy; legitimate, lawful, legal and some more shit? What the fuck is wrong with us? No one has any morals, decency, principles or values any more. That is quite obvious. More’s the goddamn pity!

But hey! If you want to go out there and put your health at risk as a way to feed your kids, go right ahead. If you want to risk your health and that of your unborn child, go right ahead because babies have been born with diseases because the mother received no prenatal care and the baby was born, fucked up. Go ahead and make every excuse in the book as to why prostitution should be legalized on a nationwide level. We are already about to legalize weed on a national level and so we can all just cough our lungs out while burning something awful in our private parts and die happily ever after. Sound good? Of course it does because that is what everyone besides me wants!

So, You’re Pissed Because Black Women Are Raising Sons On Their Own? Whose Fault Is That?

Black women are not solely responsible for THAT shit and to say that they are is a complete and utter lie! Fuck THAT shit!

 

 

 

The post that I am referencing is not about feminism, it is about Black women and this person’s contempt for Black women. I can’t believe this shit! And I have the nerve to wonder why we are our own worst enemy? We cannot even pretend a united front against our common enemy!

Now, you Black women want to be independent. You really believe that you can do what these white women do and you simply cannot. That feminst movement left the black community in shatters.

Now, black women run the daddy of their child off and away because you’re a STRONG black woman right?

You may even put the man on child support KNOWING DAMN WELL…that he can’t afford it.

Now, you’re raising your son or daughter alone without their father.

You’re raising your SON… and you turn him into

an emotional beta male who…
cant make decisions
hes indecisive
he’s feminine
he’s completely pussy-fied
hes soft as cotton

Wait a goddamn minute! It takes two to tango and without a man involved, no woman, Black, white or blue could make a baby all by their lonesome. You give the Black man a free pass when you know why a Black woman is raising a son all by her lonesome. It is because Black men lie down with a woman long enough to implant his seed and then he is on to the next. How in hell is that on Black women? Black men are not stepping up to the goddamn plate and you know this. You are not blind as to what is going down today. No Black woman in her right mind should put up with that shit! And if a Black woman has a son by a Black man and he leaves her and goes on about his business, how is it her fault if the boy grows up and states that he’s gay? Black women don’t have to push Black men away. Black men are walking away from any type of Black family relationship because that is what some of them want to do because they act like dogs in heat; sniffing after every skirt within grabbing distance.

And if a Black man cannot afford to pay child support, then he should have thought about that BEFORE he pulled his dick out and inserted it into a vagina and sent his sperm up into it. If a Black man is too broke to afford a box of condoms, who is that on? And so once again, contraception must be all about the female and the male gets a goddamn free pass? Oh hell no! Not on my watch! You damn right, I’m putting his sorry ass up for child support and he can just figure it out because he had a hand in the making of that baby and so why should he get off just because you say that Black men can’t afford to pay child support? Tell those motherfuckers that! Why the fuck are you getting mad at Black women over something that a Black man also had a hand in? Are you saying that Black men are so damn stupid that they don’t understand what it means to insert unprotected dick inside vagina? You’re saying that they just did not believe in a million years, that by doing so, a baby could come from a Black man inserting dick inside vagina? You’re not giving Black men much credit either, are you? If a Black man is that goddamn stupid, then he is no man! And if he won’t ‘man up’ and take care of his own child, how is that the fault of the Black woman when she has to take it up with the court system in order to get him to pay what he knows he should be paying but because he is so damn selfish, he cares only for his pleasure and not about what he may have left behind?

Black women, it has been stated, are having abortions at record numbers and so they are in fact, attempting not to raise a child they conceive in poverty by their lonesome. And what’s been aborted certainly will not be receiving support. I know for a fact that Black men are indeed, stupid because my own nephew would rather pay for abortions than pay for condoms. He has about six girlfriends and every single one of them has been pregnant and was given money by my nephew to pay for abortions. And some of them have had more than one. But I guess, he gets a free goddamn pass because he is a ‘Black MAN’ in YOUR fucked up book!

I have a female family member who had a baby by a Black man who’d already had four other children by different women and so like I stated, these Black men are impregnating women and then going on to the next, but it is the Black woman’s fault? Only if she is too stupid for words and will put up with that shit! And yes, this family member did indeed, put this Black man up for child support and because her child was the last one conceived by that dickhead, she gets a grand total of one goddamn penny in child support each month. So, yeah! She is most definitely causing that Black motherfucker much grief! That sperm donor was already living with his aunt when he impregnated my family member and he is still living with his aunt. So how did my family member ruin his life? He ruined his own damn life because he couldn’t keep it in his pants and when he whipped it out, he refused to put a wrapper on that damn thing! But that’s the woman’s fault, ain’t it? She should have told him to be a man and act like one. Well, again…it takes two to make a baby and when both are stupid and refuse to use protection, then we have what we have; a slew of Black women raising sons all by themselves. And newsflash, white women are doing the same thing. Feminism, my ass! This scenario has got not a goddamn thing to do with feminism and everything to do with personal responsibility and stepping up to the plate when you make a mistake or have a lapse in judgment. But both are at fault, not just the Black woman, you Black woman hating asswipe! You’re just pissed that some Black woman had to put your worthless ass up for child support and you’re probably living with your aunt. That ain’t on the Black woman! That shit’s on YOU! “Man up!” motherfucker!

I Am Searching For Something I Will Never Find

watching

I am searching for something I will never find;
a love so pure and ethereal of some kind.
Lost in a dream world of fantasy and books;
tired of love based on money and looks.

Earthy passion has no place for me.
Too scared I’ll get up with an STD.
Only lust and sex are intertwined
and to believe any different is asinine.

The times we live in are scary as hell.
And then you find yourself alone as well.
The man you think of as only yours
is out driving around in search of whores.

But you say you love him and you need a man.
You need wisdom because he has a plan.
He will use you and he may speak of love
while knowing full well what he’s guilty of.

When he is in your bed, he is thinking of her.
You see, he is a pro and you’re just an amateur.
And you turn to him and you look into his eyes,
not even seeing the telltale signs of lies.

Oh yes, the times we live in are scary indeed.
He is your addiction, on which you feed.
And he is one more reason to lose all trust.
You see, men will be men and they’re all ruled by lust.

Written by,
Shelby I. Courtland
©2016 Shelby I. Courtland

Ladies, be careful out there. Because this is real, as real as it gets. Men are ruled by lust, lust for power, money and sex. Anything else is secondary and that means, you. Just take a look around. What do you see? Who are called, ‘the powerbrokers’? How many times have you heard of ‘The Boy’s Club’? Oh, it’s exclusive, alright and it ‘excludes’ you. You are to only be seen at the proper time and under the proper circumstances. Men tell you what to look like as in how many cosmetic surgery procedures you must undergo to achieve ‘the look’ as established by men. Men tell you what to wear, how to style your hair, even down to the stiletto heels you must wear because men have decided that you must suffer deformities in order to look sexy and you do it. You do everything men tell you to do and quite frankly, I wonder is it really for love or for something else? Search within yourself, you’ll find the answers. And many of you, already know them. Be honest with yourself and about what men want and what they are.

What The Hell??!!!!

woman was executed by boyfriend

 

Black folks, I am going to have to get ugly all up in here! What the hell??!!!

“Pregnant woman executed by her gangland boyfriend for refusing to get an abortion!”

According to the article, Candace Pickens loved being a mother to her three-year old son Zachaeus and she was looking forward to becoming a mother for the second time. Unfortunately, her choice of a partner was her undoing. For the father of her child, she chose a ‘man’ who had a criminal record for domestic violence against another woman who also had a baby by him, not only that but he also had an attempted robbery conviction and in addition to that, it has also been suggested that he was affiliated with a gang.

Now, I could shake my head over Ms. Pickens choice over who she chose to date and have a baby with, but seeing as how the father of her unborn and now dead child, has been charged with their murder, that would be extremely insensitive of me and so I shall just concentrate on the choices we women make when attempting to enter into relationships with men who are absolutely wrong for us in every possible way. It is not only the fact that we know these men are wrong, it would seem that many of us are still into the “I want the bad boy type and yes I know what he did to his other baby mama but he would not do that to me because I am different. I am special.”

Uh, no you’re not! You are just a piece of ass to this type and they will use you and go on to the next, depositing who knows what inside you while impregnating you. And these days, with the explosion of all sorts of STDs that you cannot get rid of, not to mention that Black women in Ms. Pickens age group, statistically speaking, are the new face of AIDS, why are they not better protecting themselves? With information right at our fingertips stating the obvious, we still don’t pay attention and decide that “it’s never going to happen to me. I am the exception and not the rule.”

Newsflash, no matter how special you think you are, to these men, you are not the exception because unfortunately, many Black women have decided that they value themselves so little that they will lie down with a detestable piece of garbage who would shoot his own mama if she crossed him. This misogynistic piece of shit deserves no mercy. Even I would throw the book at his Black ass and never  would he see the light of day!

Somewhere along the way, we have failed our daughters and we have failed in producing sons who respect and revere the Black woman. We have failed our daughters in the sense that they don’t even care what they lie down with. They care so little for the health and safety of their bodies that they become a trash receptacle. And Black men, and I use the term loosely, because a ‘MAN’ would never do this to a woman, have veered so far out into left field that many are just too far gone to reach. I look at many Black men today and I just shake my head, AGAIN because I say to myself, “No way! No goddamn way!” If I was that oversexed, I’d head to Dildo Land before I’d take that mess ‘head’ on.The snake that executed this woman also shot her son in the head and left them both for dead. I just cannot imagine that kind of evil. I just cannot.

We are truly lost!

I go on and on about how Black people are the target for racist KKKops, have been disenfranchised, are victims of gentrification, a school-to-prison pipeline, mass incarceration, mass unemployment, homelessness and a litany of other ails and then this comes along and speaks a different language to me. It speaks to me of a weakness that is a growing disease among Black people that cannot be cut out. This is not the first time that this has happened and it will not be the last, unfortunately.

But I am not going to let the shit that Black folks do to each other, slide. When I see shit, I am calling it that and this shit makes no goddamn sense at all. A child who just celebrated his third birthday is in the hospital with his eye shot out by a piece of filth that also killed his mother and what would have been his sibling just because he wanted her to abort his baby.

Excuse me, but he didn’t know how to use a condom? He’d never heard of them? And apparently, dead Ms. Pickens had never heard of them either even though, the article goes on to state that she was attending community college and ultimately wanted to be a nurse.

Now, I could go on and on about how Ms. Pickens failed to get her education first before deciding to have children. I could go on and on about her choices over who she decided to have children with. I could go on and on about saving herself for marriage with the ‘right’ man; a man who will love and cherish her and provide for her, not by engaging in criminal acts but by the sweat of his brow. But what would be the point in that? It obviously falls on deaf ears and blind eyes.

And I know this to be true because Friday, my cousin treated me to lunch at Fogo de Chao and since it was prom night, no parking was available downtown and I had to park the car and take the bus downtown. Lawd have mercy, please! Some Black girl was at the back of the bus, on the phone, just a carrying on. I had to listen to,

“I told that nigga that his bitch called me and I don’t know how she got my number and she contacted me on Facebook and his other baby mama started up some drama with me on Facebook and I told her, bitch, you ain’t getting fucked by him, I am. That nigga know who he come home to at night and why you got a picture of my dog on your Facebook page?”

On and on, it went. I was SO goddamn embarrassed to be Black, it was unreal. From now on, if I must head downtown, I am going to first check and make sure that there is plenty of parking available and no Twins games, etc., because I refuse to subject myself to that shitload of ignorance. I wanted to go to the back of the bus and shoot her in her mouth. The least thing I should have done was pepper sprayed her ass and then stunned her. I probably would have received a standing ovation.

Now I see why what happened to Ms. Pickens is going to continue. Young Black girls of today have no respect for themselves or for the children they have with these punks who lie down with them, deposit their seed and then it is on to the next. And we wonder why the younger generation is so fucked up. I don’t. Twenty-five minutes on a bus told the story.

And now, a young woman who had her life ahead of her, lies dead and her young son is in a hospital, fighting for his life. Her unborn child is dead and the father of her unborn child is charged with their murder. Who do we blame for this?

When I Was A Stripper!

silhouette of a stripper

I am a wanton sort of hussy.
And I’m not particularly fussy.
There ain’t a man I wouldn’t date.
I’ve slept with a man from every state.

The Christians say I’m bad!
They say my life is kind of sad.
But what the hell do they know?
All their prayers are just for show.

I’m not the one who’s the hypocrite.
I don’t fake it, not one bit.
I love sex and that’s a fact
And when I cum, it’s not an act.

Do not judge me for the life I lead.
I much prefer porn over a bible to read.
Your shocked face is ludicrous.
You say I am shameless and unscrupulous.

I am that and so much more
But I could never be a bore.
It ain’t in me to be prim and proper.
I aim to shock and I’m a showstopper.

I’m no granny with a toothless smile.
Watch me dance; I’ll make it worth your while.
I make the most of my seductive beauty.
While I still can, I’m gonna shake my booty.

All the men love to see me nude.
In the club, they can be so crude.
But I’m making money and I can’t complain.
Some nights I bathe in pink champagne.

I am naked and uninhibited.
And my dancing is quite undisciplined.
There ain’t a dance that I won’t do.
If the money’s right then I’m with you!

If a lap dance is what you want,
show me your wallet and I’ll show you my cunt.
Go ahead and brand me as a Jezebel.
But I’ll still be dancing when I’m in hell!

Written by,

Shelby I. Courtland

©2016 Shelby I. Courtland

I know! I know! This is a far cry from my usual. But for some strange reason, my sensual, provocative and coquettish side came out in this one. Is this about me or what? LOL! I’ll leave it for you to be the ‘judge’! *wink*

Taye Diggs Is Now ‘Tanya Diggs’!

wtf1

Unfortunately, Stella, you cannot get your groove back AGAIN with Taye Diggs as the co-star because Taye Diggs is now playing a transgender role in the broadway show, Hedwig And The Angry Inch. And according to ‘Tanya Diggs’, he has ‘a flaming gay man’ inside of him.
The claim is that his son, by a white woman, is “cool with it,” even though he is only five years old. Quite frankly, I think that ‘Tanya Diggs’ five year old son is really cool with all the colors that have been painted on his daddy’s face. I mean, the only thing I can remember at age five was reciting the colors when my kindergarten teacher held them up. In a few years, I wonder will his son remember to be “cool with it” when he realizes that his daddy had his face painted and was tarted up to look like a really ugly woman…uh..I mean, transgender.

It would appear that every man is being bitten by the transgender bug and Hollywood is certainly hell bent on glorifying the truly ludicrous. Yes, I know, each to his or her or ITS own, however, I cannot help but wonder at the sudden explosion of LGBT in every direction from the Supreme Court to Broadway to the Espy Awards. It would also appear that roles for heterosexuals will soon be on the decline and quite obviously, by design. I suppose it is a good thing that I had no aspiration of becoming a star because if I did, I would have to play the role of a dyke in order to get a part.

We have certainly come so far from the days of watching movies in black and white when married couples slept in separate twin size beds and the love scene consisted of a quick peck on the cheek. Sigh! How I wish for days long gone! Oh, the Victorian in me recalls the quaintness of courting, waiting for marriage before engaging in sex and the refusal to expose our children to pageants and make-up and magazines that inspire them to emulate the obscene, the deviant and the perverted; not to mention, the look of starvation and the introduction to STDs and pregnancies as early as nine. But they tell me that this is progress. Well, I guess ‘they’ know better. However, when I look around, ‘they’ apparently, really don’t know what ‘progress’ really means. And again, someone once asked the question, “Does God owe Sodom and Gomorrah, an apology?” I would hazard a guess that ‘God’ does indeed, owe Sodom and Gomorrah, an apology because if this is considered ‘progress’, then I cannot see how we are all the better for it!

Rainbows, Once So Beautiful!

rainbow1

Rainbows, once so beautiful
are now defiled by man.
When I look up at a rainbow
it is as beautiful as a rusted can.

If a man wants a dick all in his ass
then go at it tooth and nail
but did you have to defile such beauty
as you lick the ass of a male?

The dykes are on the loose
chasing rainbow-draped cunts.
With tongues drooling and panting
I don’t want to hear your grunts.

You tarnish the rainbow’s image
with your filthy, nasty ways.
I wish you’d all stayed in the closet,
all you vile and disgusting gays!

Written by,
Shelby I. Courtland
©2015 Shelby I. Courtland

And for some strange reason, I had the devil of a time posting this. I fucking wonder why! If I had posted a poem screaming about my joy over same-sex marriage, this would be Freshly Pressed, but since I’m not, it was made extremely difficult for me to post this. But know this, I am stubborn as hell and have saved every goddamn thing that I have posted on this site and though I had to make four attempts to post this, I got it done, goddamn it!

I’m not the nasty motherfucker here! Those damn gays are. I fucking had a colonoscopy and was told that I would be asleep and yet, I screamed throughout the entire procedure. You gay motherfuckers wouldn’t have had THAT problem because you’re SO goddamn used to shit shoved up your ass. By the time you filthy ass skanks need a colonoscopy, all the doctor need do is attach a flashlight to his head and stick his whole goddamn head in your wide open ass hole that’s already heavily lubed. Hell! Jiffy Lube’s got nothing on you motherfuckers! The colonoscopy would be finished in two seconds flat because the doc could see from your asshole all the way to your molars because you’d be screaming with PLEASURE, you nasty ass fuckers!

Jamaica Inn!

jamaica

After a night on Whiskey Beach
there was a mean streak in me
I planned such sweet revenge
against an unknown enemy.

I found my Mr. Perfect
but he belonged to someone else
and in all my carnal innocence
I streaked his back with welts.

But he was hard to hold
this man with a dangerous kiss.
His evil was divine
as he swept me over the abyss.

I left sweet Eden behind
and put my trust in a stranger.
His tongue was like French silk
forged in steel and made of danger.

Against the wild, I fought.
I was brazen in my virtue.
He was out-of-control
and I was no ebony statue.

Far beyond sweet talk,
we found Jamaica Inn.
The bed was soft and warm
and the air was ripe with sin.

He was all I ever wanted
and he wouldn’t kiss and tell.
He would keep my public secrets,
stealing shadows for my spell.

Written by,
Shelby I. Courtland
©2015 Shelby I. Courtland

A Whore Is A Whore!

a whore is a whore

I walk the streets of every town

as a junkie and as a whore.

A car pulls up beside me

and my habit calls for more.

 

I suck his dick and I get paid

and out the door I go.

Another ‘John’ pulls up.

It’s nasty, yes, I know.

 

This has been my job

for too many years to count.

I am sick and just about dead.

And yet, another dick, I mount.

 

Don’t waste your time by telling me

that I’m damned and going to hell.

I’ve been there and I’ve done that.

Just look at me, can’t you tell?

 

Save your prayers and save your breath

for the sinners in the church.

Preach to them about sin and such

from your lofty perch.

 

You bind yourself in marriage

to a ‘John’ that says, “You’re mine!”

And when he wants some sex,

legal whore, you toe the line!

 

Never think for one minute

that he’s faithful and he’s true.

He’s just a ‘John’ like all the rest

and he always needs to screw!

 

He pampers you and he buys you things

and you think that that means love.

How stupid can you be?

It’s not you, he’s thinking of!

Written by,

Shelby I. Courtland

©2015 Shelby I. Courtland

 Don’t be hatin’ just ’cause I keep it real! *wink*

 

 

 

 

Abortion! Why Make It About Race?

abortions by race1

According to statistics, Black women have more abortions than whites and Hispanics and the reasons given are that many Black women are poor and are often uneducated about the use of contraceptives and therefore, make poor decisions.

http://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2014/09/abortions-racial-gap/380251/

We all know how pregnancies happen. Insert dick inside vagina and voila, here comes baby or maybe not. There are two parties that are inserted into the mix to make a baby and to continuously blame women for finding themselves pregnant all by their lonesome is ludicrous and then to further blame Black women for aborting their babies at a higher rate than white women and Hispanics is just icing on the cake. Black women can do nothing right no matter how hard we try and you know what statisticians, I don’t give a fuck what you say about Black women and why we have abortions because it takes two to tango.

But I digress, first things first. Since we all know that sex is too pleasurable to be denied, unplanned pregnancies are going to occur. There are no sure fire birth control methods other than abstinence, which ain’t gonna happen, and sterilization, otherwise known as tubal ligation or vasectomies. And please, feel free to enlighten me if you’ve had a vasectomy and still managed to impregnate someone, the same with tubal ligation. Now, when I was in school, we were not taught sex education and my mother was like Beaver Cleaver’s mother, ‘the stork delivered us’ was her take on how babies came to be. I knew nothing of how babies came to be until I became of age to attend the prom. I was then handed a pamphlet that explained the process in clinical detail and was told by my mother that there was no way in hell that I would be attending the prom, only to return home, pregnant. I was told that intimacy between a male and a female was so excruciatingly painful, that death was to be wished for more.

My sisters and I were the most sexually repressed females ever to walk this planet, add into the mixture, the hellfire and brimstone that would be rained down on us by ‘god’ and we were afraid to wear skirts for fear of sperm finding its way into our secret garden. Geefuckingwhiz here! We all wore chastity belts, believe me!

How shocked I was when one of my friends came to me asking me where the clinic was so that she could get birth control pills. I mean, how would I know? Maybe they got delivered by the stork or were inside the drug store right next to the Anacin that my mother took, religiously. But somehow, my friend found out and asked me to drive her to the clinic. Unfortunately, her information was wrong and when I got back home, my mother was telling me that my friend had asked me to come and pick her up. The clinic that she wanted to go to was on the other side of town. She informed me the next day that she had gotten her birth control pills and that she was ready for ‘S-E-X’. Of course, I was wide-eyed with wonder and since I had been indoctrinated into the “you are a bad, bad girl if you have dirty thoughts” religion, I had to try and save her soul. So I commenced to letting her have it but she was having none of it. She had heard that sex was a beautiful thing and she had a boyfriend that was eager to get on with it.

My mother did not suspect that this friend of mine was not ignorant like I was to the ways of the world and so; she let me go off with her one day. She had lined up a guy for me. He was a friend of her boyfriend and a seemingly nice enough fella until when we were at the park, he pulled out what I soon found to be a joint and they proceeded to smoke it. I was appalled. I just knew that mother could see all of this and I knew ‘god’ was looking. I demanded to be taken home and I was. Unfortunately, the guy had fallen for me, they always do, and my friend invited me over her boyfriend’s house and there he was. This time, the straw that broke the camel’s back was that they insisted on playing a GASP, sex video. As soon as I saw the first naked body, I screeched and stormed out, demanding to be taken home! The guy sent me flowers the next day. And I remember this quite vividly because I was in my room and my baby sister ran into my room shouting that a florist van was parked in front of the house and mother was telling the delivery man that no one had ordered any flowers. He mentioned my name and the flowers were eventually transferred from his hands into my mother’s. When I came downstairs, my mother was all eyes and shrieking about fallen daughters, blah, blah, blah. The card that was addressed to me read, “Shelby, please accept these roses as my apology for hurting your feelings.” Oh, they were beautiful! Twelve long stemmed red roses and of course, my sisters were giggling and having quite the time witnessing the show.

So, what I am trying to say is that back in my day, many of us were so innocent about sex and had no clue. And even though my friend got herself on the pill, not everyone can or will and the only thing that probably saved me from having a ton of babies was the fact that I had been scared shitless at even the thought of S-E-X. Today, even though we are more aware of what goes on between the two sexes at an early age, it still makes no difference because young people are going to experiment and they are going to make mistakes. We all do. Youth is fleeting as we know and to continuously blame people for something that they really cannot control is ridiculous. I realize that having a baby is a big deal. It is another life that has to be taken care of and the care of that life is expensive and when teenagers are having babies, it is especially hard on the entire family because in many Black households, there is no one home to take care of the baby while the teen mother continues with her schooling. And it is so much easier on the male that had a hand in the conception of the child, but will never show the unmistakable signs of carrying a baby, will not be the one who has to nurture the child from infancy to adulthood, unlike the mother. There are many young men, regardless of color that will not step up to the plate and by them not doing so, it is then incumbent upon the female to make a decision as to what to do about an unplanned for pregnancy.

We must stop shaming and blaming particular ethnic groups for what they do or don’t do. We need to be there for our children and support them when they ‘mess up’ and get into situations, whatever they may be and stop making everything about race when it is all about human nature. We are all fallible and not one of us can lay claim to never having made a mistake in our entire life. This nonsense of what one race does to their detriment over another race is counterproductive and useless in the grand scheme of things. No, people are not as naïve as I once was as well as many others, well, maybe not that many, but be that as it may, abortions for whatever reason are I am sure, hard enough as it is to deal with without making it a Black or a white or a Hispanic issue and point the finger and say, “see, those people are always having abortions because of this, this and that. When will they ever learn?” The question is when will we ALL ever learn about humanity and stop the goddamn judging?