Shelby Courtland’s search engine terms for April 3rd, 2015 are as follows:
where can I find a Big Black monster dick
now that I’ve eaten, where can I find fresh out-of-season strawberries
where can I find edible underwear
my vibrator broke, where is the nearest repair shop
I’m out of whipped cream, where is the nearest farm
how to join the CIA/ISIS
how to make a bomb in 3 easy steps
how tall is the fence at the White House
where does Dick, The Torturer live
how can I get past airport security with a Glock
where on my body would they not check for Cuban cigars
I may be on a terror watch list, how do I find out for sure
how to make counterfeit money in two easy steps like the Feds
what is the balance in my offshore account
who do I have to blow to stop an IRS audit
how do I start my own pyramid scheme and not get caught
how to launder money like the big banks and get away with it like the big banks
how to start a for profit prison
how to start a tax exempt bullshit religious cult
So, NSA! CIA! FBI! Did ya miss anything? Now, come and pick my ass up! I fucking dare you!
