Happy Slaves Bake Birthday Cake For George Washington!

slave baking book

I’m a happy slave in America!
I bake cakes for presidents.
I ain’t got no smarts or schooling
 and when I talk, I don’t make sense.

But I’m as happy as can be
 ’cause I’m baking cakes for presidents.
So, when next you re-write history
 tell no lies and I mean no offense.

If you can’t take the truth,
 that I baked cakes for presidents,
 then that shit is all on you
 because slavery is my defense.

How many lies will you tell?
That I came of my own free will?
You with Pinocchio’s nose,
 let me present you with my bill!

For over four hundred years,
I’ve been owed for baking that cake.
And as I stand in shackles and chains,
I am a testament to the truth you fake!

Written by,
Shelby I. Courtland
©2016 Shelby I. Courtland

Happy slaves? Goddamn it! For real? Get the fuck outta here! First, we had textbook publisher McGraw-Hill stating that Africans willingly immigrated to America to work. They were not dragged to AmeriKKKa to become slaves. According to McGraw-Hill, the Africans came here alongside the Irish and other immigrants seeking long-term good paying jobs. You see, this version absolves whitey white asses of knowing that their ancestors were depraved rejects from hell; they are too but that fact should not be bandied about. You see, slavery, rape, whips, chains, shackles and torture don’t have quite the nice ring to it and so tone that shit down. Smooth it over. Make slavery into something that it was not. Make it into a resort. Yeah! That sounds better. Slavery was nothing more than a resort and those Black folks at the resort were as happy as can be, just a baking cakes and some more shit!

Now, let’s cut the bullshit!

Apparently, there is a new book out titled, A Birthday Cake For George Washington and the book ‘suggests’ that a slave named Hercules was just so goddamn happy to be slaving away making a birthday cake for an old wooden toothed bastard by the name of George Washington, that he just could not contain himself! With his skills, he ‘bettered’ himself and should have been proud of it. Oh no! He was not the usual run-of-the-mill slave that had no skills at all and so therefore, had not a thing to say for themselves, no Hercules, the cake baker for George Washington was a cut above the rest and his life was practically lived like he was one of the ‘gentry’. Like hell!

George Washington’s overseer was just as vicious and cruel as any other overseer; just as vicious, depraved and barbaric as today’s goddamn overseers that are stationed in prisons and jails all across this shithole. We are to constantly get bombarded by these atrocious lies; spoon fed fake ass shit and told to eat it up, swallow it down and beg for more. I am fed the fuck up with white motherfuckers who continuously water down history to suit their own fucked up agenda. They will pass shit off as caviar and think nothing of it so long as it makes them look better. Newsfuckingflash! There ain’t a goddamn jewel, cloth of satin or plastic surgeon that could turn you filthy ass bastards into something fit for hell!