“Hark The Hypocrites Do Sing!”

hark the hypocrites

 

– sing to the tune of “Hark the Herald Angels Sing.”

Hark the hypocrites do sing!
Glory to the news they bring
Bombs on earth and missiles too
Aimed at me and aimed at you
Peace on earth is but a dream
Can’t you hear the people scream?
Watch the bombs light up the skies
Listen to the children’s cries
And the Christians doth proclaim
Christ was born and that’s so lame
There they sit with pants unzipped
I don’t want to see them stripped
Lambs aren’t in the manger fold
They are waiting to be sold
Lamb chops on the menu here
Wash them down with ice cold beer
Kiss your mother who is drunk
Daddy dear is in a funk
He didn’t get a penis pump
Where’s a cliff for him to jump?
Uncle Jack is in rehab
His herpes has formed a scab

Hark the hypocrites do sing
Glory to the new crack wing!
You will overdose again
When you do, just say, “Amen!”
We so love the holidays,
refugees are in a daze
Drones have struck the innocent
Brag about the cash you’ve spent
Christmas comes but once a year
Hark the hypocrites, you hear!
Glory to the bottom line.
Now throw out this dead ole pine
Bring me whiskey on the rocks
Time to ride some big ole cocks
Hark the hypocrites do sing!
Glory to your fake ass king!

Written by,

Shelby I. Courtland

©2015 Shelby I. Courtland

And if you didn’t know, I’ll be more than happy to clue you in. Your fake ass king is M-O-N-E-Y!

I am SO in the Christmas spirit this year, I just cannot help myself. Bombs are being dropped in distant lands. Drones are killing innocent people. But for one day, we will put all of that aside. We will, for one day, express our love for our family and friends and associates. We will gift them all that credit cards can buy. This is how we show our devotion and love; with gifts. We don’t show our love by worrying about the conditions of third-world sweatshops and the people who ‘slave’ in them. We don’t care that people are suffering so bad, that they would rather commit suicide than continue on. We carelessly head to the mall and shop until we drop; shoving that piece of plastic across the counter and out the door, we go. But we are so thoughtful and kind and decent. We then head to the supermarket and thoughtlessly pick the choicest piece of butchered cow or pig or lamb and we get someone to cook that up for us; rare, medium rare or well done. Stock the liquor cabinet. Are all the mixers shelved and ready? Oh look at the beautiful tree. It was beautiful when it was in its natural state, but now, it has been chopped and kept ‘green’ by some polluted ass faucet water; that is until this is all over and then, “Throw it away!”

In all actuality, this planet should “Throw us away!” I wish to hell it would. With our fake ass moaning over climate change; we cut down more trees to have signs printed calling for climate change reform when we are instrumental in the death of this planet by the cutting down of more and more trees for those very signs. Sigh! The ‘human’ race is a disgrace to this planet and to the innocent animals that occupy it and who are at the mercy of the merciless. How can we claim to be merciful when we are shedding tears because our father or brother or sister is overseas, suited up in military gear ready to kill someone they don’t even know and for what? Room and board? Some food stamps? Glory? Honor? One thing I can say is that we cannot lose honor because we never had any to begin with. Now, we’re all just meaningless filth; pretending to be do-gooders and concerned creatures. Shove it! Your so-called ‘loved one’ would not be in Iraq or Afghanistan or Syria if we did not have that killer instinct that drives us. Love does not drive us for if it did, we would not condone the killing of others and claim that it is honorable. What the fuck are YOU celebrating this Christmas? Especially those of you who go on and on about ‘climate change’. Those of you who go on and on about the untold miseries that other people are dealing with while you go on and on about how wonderful and kind you are that you hashtagged some solidarity with the ‘unfortunates’. You did your part when you displayed some colors in a flag over your Facebook photo. Oh wow! Now shit yourself because you did GOOD!

Maybe I am Miss goddamn humbug! But at least, I am honest about the fact that I am just another worthless so-called ‘human’. But one thing about me, I’m NO hypocrite! So, enjoy your ‘holiday’. And I sincerely hope that that pig you’ll eat, deposits itself on your ass!

The Twelve Days Of Christmas! (Black Version)

 

twelve days of Christmas Black version two

 

sing to the tune of “The Twelve Days Of Christmas.”

“On the 1st day of Christmas, my country gave to me, a chronic case of slavery!

On the 2nd day of Christmas, my country gave to me, two years in jail and a chronic case of slavery!

On the 3rd day of Christmas, my country gave to me, three crack highs, two years in jail and a chronic case of slavery!

On the 4th day of Christmas, my country gave to me, four racist names, three crack highs, two years in jail and a chronic case of slavery!

On the 5th day of Christmas, my country gave to me, five lynching trees, four racist names, three crack highs, two years in jail and a chronic case of slavery!

On the 6th day of Christmas, my country gave to me, six Ku Klux Klan’s men, five lynching trees, four racist names, three crack highs, two years in jail and a chronic case of slavery!

On the 7th day of Christmas, my country gave to me, seven goons to beat me, six Ku Klux Klan’s men, five lynching trees, four racist names, three crack highs, two years in jail and a chronic case of slavery!

On the 8th day of Christmas, my country gave to me, eight cops to tase me, seven goons to beat me, six Ku Klux Klan’s men, five lynching trees, four racist names, three crack highs, two years in jail and a chronic case of slavery!

On the 9th day of Christmas, my country gave to me, nine racist judges, eight cops to tase me, seven goons to beat me, six Ku Klux Klan’s men, five lynching trees, four racist names, three crack highs, two years in jail and a chronic case of slavery!

On the 10th day of Christmas, my country gave to me, ten ‘lords’ to pray to, nine racist judges, eight cops to tase me, seven goons to beat me, six Ku Klux Klan’s men, five lynching trees, four racist names, three crack highs, two years in jail and a chronic case of slavery!

On the 11th day of Christmas, my country gave to me, eleven thugs a rapping, ten ‘lords’ to pray to, nine racist judges, eight cops to tase me, seven goons to beat me, six Ku Klux Klan’s men, five lynching trees, four racist names, three crack highs, two years in jail and a chronic case of slavery!

On the 12th day of Christmas, my country gave to me, twelve Nazi guardsmen, eleven thugs a rapping, ten ‘lords’ to pray to, nine racist judges, eight cops to tase me, seven goons to beat me, six Ku Klux Klan’s men, five lynching trees, four racist names, three crack highs, two years in jail and a chronic case of slavery!” – now repeat real loud! “And a chro-nic case of SLĀĀĀ-VER-RĒĒĒĒĒ!”

Written by,

Shelby I. Courtland

©2015 Shelby I. Courtland

—————————————————————————————–

Now start celebrating this goddamn bullshit! Decorate the fucking tree. Wish every damn body a Merry fucking Christmas, gorge yourselves on a butchered pig, while becoming one, and then open up yer debt! Even if you’re drunk, you’ll recognize it; it’s plastic and its made in overseas sweatshops! So do the corporations a big huge favor; buy, buy, buy and then when it’s all over, throw the tree on the curb for bulk trash pickup because remember, we’re worried about the health of the planet, you goddamn hypocrites!

Another Bullshit Christmas!

holiday

My mind is racing in a way.
It’s almost Christmas day.
And I’ve still got gifts to buy.
I must heed the corporate cry!

You say you need a brand new rug.
And a fur coat to keep you snug.
And expensive jewelry would be nice.
It’s such a bargain at this price.

When I wake up Christmas morn,
I won’t think of the savior, born.
I’ll just head straight for the tree,
to see what you bought for me.

The bills are now past due,
and you turn into a shrew.
I went in debt for you,
and for little Johnny too.

Now the tree is on the curb,
and I’m smoking up some herb,
because the bills I didn’t pay,
were all due yesterday.

I’m burdened with debt, it’s true,
and number thirty in the queue,
waiting on a loan just to get us through,
another bullshit Christmas screw.

Written by,
Shelby I. Courtland
©2014 Shelby I. Courtland

Does any of this sound familiar? Anybody started to sing the, “I’m broke!,” blues yet? Bend over ’cause you’re getting screwed and don’t it hurt like hell? Nah! ‘Cause if it did, you wouldn’t passively play ‘follow the leader’ into more and more debt each and every year. You never learn. So, here we go again; another Christmas of spend, spend, spend. Oh, and let’s all get stuck at the airport trying to get to family most of us don’t even like ’cause if we did, we wouldn’t have to fly each Christmas just to see ’em(Yep, and granny Jean is still mean, damn her spiteful tongue). But, we’ve all got to impress one another with our gifts and gorge ourselves on ham and green bean casserole and then place an order for a gym membership because we’re gonna lose weight and get in shape for the new year and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Many of you most likely haven’t paid off the debt you accumulated from last Christmas. Oh, well….can’t fix stupid when stupid don’t want to get fixed. Here’s to a “Merry Corporation and a Happy Wall Street year, suckers!”

Don’t Listen….

ear1

As you place your presents underneath a dead tree,
forget about the homeless and their children who are hungry.

While you laugh and sing over brandy and champagne,
forget about the addicts that are strung out on crack cocaine.

When you visit friends and relatives to exchange your gifts,
forget about the tired workers that have worked two shifts.

Since you can’t be bothered to count one blessing,
forget about the prisoners that were tortured into confessing.

Whereas you are privileged and cocooned in your little world,
don’t listen to the prophecy that a messenger will herald.

Ignorance will no longer be bliss and neither will it shield,
all from what is coming and soon shall be revealed.

Written by,
Shelby I. Courtland
©2014 Shelby I. Courtland

The Truth Just Gets Ignored

"My guess is that they heard that 'Jesus' was inside! Nah! It's NOT all about HIM!"
“My guess is that they heard that ‘Jesus’ was inside! Nah! It’s NOT all about HIM!”

My bed is in a manger,
to the cold, I am no stranger.

I’m the shivering, aching poor,
a ‘thing’ that you deplore.

I am in good company.
You see, Jesus died for me.

He was poor and homeless too.
Didn’t he also die for you?

The truth just gets ignored,
while you buy the things you hoard.

At the mall, did you find a soul?
I doubt that was your goal.

With credit card in hand,
the world’s at your command.

You’ve got the means to buy,
all that glitters to catch your eye.

But what you need the most
is not on what you’ve overdosed.

The things that money cannot buy
and what merchants can’t supply,
is the essence of humanity
and love expressed, unconditionally.

Written by,
Shelby I. Courtland
© 2013 Shelby I. Courtland

As the shopping season wraps up, people have no idea why we even celebrate this so-called ‘holiday’. When will you hoard what is important? When will you stand in lines that snake around the homeless, demanding housing? When will you trample on bullshit laws that are passed to take away our human rights? When will you stampede the offices of legislators who craft bills to harm the poorest of the poor? When will you stop selling your soul for all that a plastic card can buy? What do you do with all of the shit that you scream over and grab for in stores every single Christmas? Where is all of the shit that you bought last year? In your basement? In your closet? In your garage? Collecting dust? And so you need more worthless, fake shit to impress who or whom? Me? Your neighbor? Yourself? If you are a ‘christian’ is Jesus impressed? Never mind, I am talking to myself as you’re still at the mall buying last minute impressions.

Wigs knocked off, ass hanging out! That’s what it’s ALL about! This IS the ‘essence of humanity’!

You Need Another Plan!

'Firearms sales rise with weapons a popular holiday gift'. "Another example of the charade of 'Christ'mas!
‘Firearms sales rise with weapons a popular holiday gift’.
“Another example of the charade of ‘Christ’mas!

He came, he saw and then he wept.
Jesus bowed his head and then he left.

The sadness struck deep, he’d given his all.
No one ever saw him; they were shopping at the mall.

He is the star of the show, but not in the parade.
Christmas is a farce; an expensive charade.

The birth of the savior was a savior ignored.
Just like the homeless, Jesus is abhorred.

Think not of others, keep doing what you do.
Go to your church and fill up the pew.

God loved the world and he sent his own son,
so that you can go out and purchase a gun?

Shoot your way to heaven, is that your aim?
If you find yourself in hell, who will you blame?

You love God, but you hate a homeless man?
Better do some thinking ‘cause you need another plan.

Written by,
Shelby I. Courtland
© 2013 Shelby I. Courtland

‘Tis The Season To Help The Homeless….Uh, Charities!!!!

tis the season for charities

‘Tis the season to be homeless and to give to charities.
The homeless; they get recognized and you bring your checkbook please.

All year long, they get the shaft; the poor should not be seen,
but it’s time to dress them up, with some polish and some sheen.

We’ve got to help the homeless; it’s the right time of the year.
And when the season’s over, get the homeless out of here.

We preach about what good we do and how we need your money.
The ‘bible’ says to help the poor; most days we find that’s funny.

A good thing, yes we know and that is why we love Thanksgiving.
We can fleece our christian flock; that’s how we ‘earn’ our living.

So, homeless folk, you gather round; you’ll get a decent meal.
Instead of chicken broth, we’re serving up some veal.

Smile for the camera; show your need for dental work.
We’ll get some more donations; your plight will be our perk.

When Christmas rolls around, what joy for us there’ll be.
The homeless get a scarf and we get a shopping spree.

I’ll splash a homeless man as I drive my brand new car.
And serve him bread and water while I feast on caviar.

What a lovely time of year to head a Christian charity.
I’m no smelly homeless person bogged down by poverty.

Written by,
Shelby I. Courtland
© 2013 Shelby I. Courtland

The ‘faith based’ charities have the homeless out ringing bells and looking their most ‘homeless’ right in time for the season of good ‘tithings’, uh…I mean..good ‘tidings’. Time to get your checkbook out BEFORE you head out the door and give all your money to the merchants. Remember, the homeless, I mean…the charities NEED your donations to help themselves, uh…I mean to help the homeless! Don’t be stingy now, ya hear?