Hillary Clinton’s Theme Song!

Hillary battles the devil theme song

The devil called to Hillary and said, “Come home my dear to me!”
Ole Hillary answered back, “I didn’t sell my soul to thee!”

 

That devil, he was fired up for no one should call his bluff.
Hillary had sold her soul to him and he knew she liked it rough.

He threw ole Hillary across his back and took her down to hell.
But he was no match for Hillary, she put him under her spell.

She called Lockheed and she called Boeing, her personal munitions teams.
And now if you listen real close, you can hear the devil’s screams.

She launched her drones and fired her missiles and attacked hell’s vaulted gates.
And now the Christians can’t burn in hell, Hillary destroyed its fiery lakes.

“Where to now?,” Hillary asks of her rich and rowdy friends.
And don’t hold back, I’ll shit myself, that’s why I wear depends.”

“We’ve bombed hell and destroyed Iraq and Libya is up in flames.”
“We’ve killed Gaddafi, hanged Hussein, so let’s add more to those names!”

“We’re running out of land to grab and leaders to kill for sport!”
“Let’s turn on our own and show them whose boss, a mission we won’t abort!”

“I’ll soon be the man in a DC house, I’m a madman, doncha know?”
“America, bend your ass over, you’re now my goddamn ho!”

Hillary requested that her theme song be written by,

Shelby I. Courtland (and I was quite happy to do it! P.S. You’re welcome Hillary!!!)
©2016 Shelby I. Courtland

So, since I am privy to the inner sanctum of Hillary Clinton, I know what that warmonger has in store for AmeriKKKa and even without being privy to the inner sanctum of Hillary Clinton, you should know as well! And for those of you who are thinking of turning to Hillary Clinton when Bernie Sanders concedes to her, I would rebel and refuse to get behind this warmonger. If you must vote, write-in a third party candidate or at the very least you could write your own name in. Better that than that warmonger. I do understand that the only other alternative seems to be Frump, but hey! We are still here even AFTER Reagan, Bush I, Clinton, Bush II and Obama, so hey! We will deal with it! Did we like it and will we like it? Hell no! But we should have done something about this long before it reached this point and so who do we have to blame for it? Something to ponder.

What Is Freedom?

Bob Marley

What is freedom, but a word.
It doesn’t mean a thing.
We shall crawl and never get up.
Our voices forgot how to sing.

This rope encircling our necks,
tightens when we pull away.
Not far are we allowed to go,
only our thoughts are left to stray.

As slaves, we have no rights,
nor can we escape the darkness ahead.
There’ll be no flame to burn the noose,
and put an end to tyranny’s spread.

Our burden is of our own making.
With the devil, we made a deal.
If he let’s us live in bondage,
on bended knee, we’ll kneel.


Written by,
Shelby I. Courtland
©2014 Shelby I. Courtland

Devil Of A Full Moon

full moon and devil

When the moon is full, I turn.
My skin just starts to burn.

The mind plays trick on me.
I am a christian don’t you see.

Hell opens up a bit to give us just a peek.
The dead get up and play, a game called hide and seek.

Demons, christians and warlocks join hands and sing a song.
They’re all one and the same and they all do get along.

They sing the stuff of legend in the glow of the first full moon.
Their singing turns to lusty shouts and no more are they heard to croon.

They dance and call for the devil as a cloud begins to hover.
The devil steps forth to claim them, after all, he is their lover.

His breath is fierce and hot and his eyes are like smoldering embers.
He is horny for all to see and he takes pride in his swollen members.

One penis, the devil does not have, he has to please his pets.
He opts to bless the doctors since the devil needs his vets.

Ah, the full moon and its powers, it brings forth insanity.
And then the devil walks the earth bringing chaos and calamity.

Pray when the moon is full and don’t get caught out in the night.
For if you meet up with the devil, remember, he has a voracious appetite!

Written by,
Shelby I. Courtland
©2014 Shelby I. Courtland

“I Believe In Heaven And Hell!”

heaven and hell

The other day, a christian said,
“I believe in heaven and hell.”
I handed him a bag of ice,
and bid him fare thee well.

He thought that I was joking
and he laughed with so much glee,
it got me thinking to myself,
will he enjoy the devil’s tea?

If you want eternal life,
and a stately mansion too,
tell the preacher your desire.
He may promise it to you.

But remember, he is human,
and a sinner all day long.
He must answer for himself.
And his judgment could be wrong.

You say you’re going to heaven.
But that may not be the case.
I’ll keep this ice on hold
since I’m sure you’ll fall from grace.

Written by,
Shelby I. Courtland
© 2013 Shelby I. Courtland

‘christians’, LMAO!!! One more week and I’ll leave ya alone!! This has been too much fun!!!

Embrace Evil!

embrace evil

I hardened my caring heart and filled my soul with ice.
No longer will I try; I embrace a life of vice.

I surrender to the evil that has plagued man through the years.
The devil’s home is in my heart and for that, I’ll shed no tears.

To cry is for the weak and I am stronger than I think.
I’ll seek the pleasures of this world and lift my cup to drink.

Life is short and to the point; I want rapture all day long.
I will live to suit myself, and care not if that is wrong.

Who needs wings or crowns of thorns or delights of paradise?
I’ll take my chance that this is it, I’ll pay whatever price.

Judge me not and if you do, I’ll toss my head and shout.
“Give evil just one chance; you see, the devil’s got the clout!”

Written by,
Shelby I. Courtland
© 2013 Shelby I. Courtland

The Devil’s Favorite Pet!

The devil's pet

In a town called Bethlehem
where Jesus Christ was born,
the ‘christians’ think they’re chosen
and were soon to toot their horn.

They display the cross so proudly,
While their politics, they preach.
And when they beg for money,
they suck you like a leech.

In their palaces of sin
all tax exempt and free,
please don’t seek their help.
They’ll turn their back on thee.

Welcome to their world.
Step right inside of hell.
You’ll hear no truth from them.
And you’ll wonder at their smell.

The christians reek of sulfur,
and they bend the rules a bit.
They’re the devil’s favorite pet.
It seems, he loves a hypocrite.

Written by,
Shelby I. Courtland
© 2013 Shelby I. Courtland

….and the ‘Good’ Reverend Speaks! Revival Time!

'Former White Sheet Baptist Church'

‘Former White Sheet Baptist Church’

 

“Good evening congregation!!! I am absolutely thrilled to have been invited to guest speak here at the ‘Former White Sheet Baptisit Church’. It is an honor and a privilege to represent the ‘Church of the Holy Rollers’ and to those of my congregation who are in attendance, can I get an Amen?”

“AMEN!”

“Now, then! Hold up! Wait a minute! Grand Wizard, what is up with the white sheets? I thought that this was the ‘Former White Sheet Baptist Church!”

Uh…Reverend ‘Give Me All You Got’ Courtland, forgive me, but some members of my congregation were not pleased at my inviting you and members of your congregation to this church, but their objections were overruled and they are just a bit sore about it, that is all.”

“That is all! That is ALL! The hell it is! I have no intention of preaching the good word to some damn sheets. Now you instruct those sheet wearing fools to strip ’em and strip ’em now!”

“Reverend Courtland, I don’t think that that would be wise.”

“And you mean to tell me that it is wise to sit here in this so-called ‘holy sanctuary’ draped in white sheets? I am the guest speaker here and I say, the sheets come off!”

“Alright, Reverend Courtland, but you’re not gonna like it.”

“I already don’t like it!”

” What the fuck!”

“I told you, you wouldn’t like it.”

“Is this some sort of damn cult? Why is black paint all over the sheets, true Black don’t come off! And what the hell, ‘Black face’ makeup?”

“Reverend Courtland, I did not mean for this to happen. I thought that you would just speak and we would partake of communion together and sing songs about coming together and maybe those of your church could play some drums and treat us to some of that good ole jungle music.”

“Jungle mu….what?”

“Of course, if you feel as if I have stepped out of line, please accept my sincerest apologies. I meant no harm.”

“Meant no ha…meant no………………….!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Brother Thlug! Brother Mafio! Call the gang, at once! We are about to set it off up in here! I don’t sanction no racist bullshit! Who the hell do you think you’re fucking with Grand Lizard?”

“Uh…it’s Grand Wizard.”

“Grand LIZARD! You slimy, sithering lizard! My kung fu lessons finally are about to pay off. You’re gonna hear music alright. You ever heard the song, ‘Everybody Was Kung Fu Fighting? Well, you gonna live it! Congregation, in the words of Marvin Gaye, ‘Let’s Get It On!”

—————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————–

“Brother Mafio, thank you so much for pulling my 18″ stilleto heel out of Grand Lizard’s ass and Brother Thlug, thank you for pulling the other one out of his mouth, but I won’t be needing them, they are both covered in racism and I would never be able to rub that shit off. No way, no how. Hold Grand Lizard’s head up, I got some preaching to do! The next time you invite someone to speak in this three ring white supremacy circus, you better know just  what the hell you’re doing, because I am SO not the one! You little punk ass racist piece of shit! Hallelujah!!! Here I stand in the midst of some unholy shit, barefoot, nails broken and hair tousled from ass kicking some white sheet wearing filth and in the house of the lord??!!!! This is unheard of!!”

“Sister KnowItAll, it is YOUR responsibility to not get us into shit like this. What the hell am I paying you to know it all for? You should know damn well that I don’t mind kicking ass, but you also should know that I will not tolerate hatin’ ass racists! Now what do you have to say for yourself???!!!!”

“Reverend Courtland, the Grand Wizard approached me and stated that his church had heard wonderful praise about our palace of worship and wanted to experience first-hand one of your world famous sermons even though he was just a mite concerned that everyone would not be onboard. However, he assured me that….”

“He assured you?!!! Take a damn look around Sister KnowNothing! Even Little TearHellUp should not have been exposed to this mess! How dare you stand there and downplay bullshit! You are paid to KNOW, you are not paid to seek assurances from racist assholes!! You exposed my flock to this shit knowing that I am ultimately responsible for the souls of my sheep! I am crass, cold and callous enough! They don’t need to be subjected to some ‘Black Face’ hidden under white sheets racist shit! My sermons leave my sheep feeling good about themselves. And this is going to take some extreme effort on MY part to pull them through this and hell knows they’ve been through much lately with government shutdowns and debt ceiling crises and every other kind of hell tossed at some of our weaker members! How dare you expose them to the evils of the Klan too! Get that Grand Lizard bastard up! Can he talk?”

“I don’t know Reverend, he’s been kinda mumbling something.”

“You couldn’t make it out Brother Mafio?”

“Not really, as good as I can make out, what I think I heard was ‘police’.”

“Police? Police? Grand Lizard, you want the ‘police’? And just what do you think that they are going to do about my having fucked you up? Brother Thlug and Brother Mafio, hold this contemptible shit still. Thank you! Grand Lizard, I don’t know whether or not you remember the scripture that says if ‘thine eye offends thee, pluck it out’, well…kiss your tongue ‘goodbye’ because it offends ME! Now, hold him still! There we go, you’ll have to write or print your racist bullshit from now on Grand Lizard, you’ll not be offending MY congregation nor any other, verbally that is. Now call the goddamn police and tell them all about what’s troubling you! Go ahead!!! What? I can’t hear you? Huh? What does ‘llllullllullll’ mean? The police are going to think you’re insane! You want me to call them for you? Sure, I’m in a better mood now! Brother Mafio, hand me something to wipe the racist slime off my hands and then find my cell phone. Thanks! I’ve got to dial 911! Yes, 911, my name is Revered ‘Give Me All You Got’ Courtland and I am here at the ‘Former White Sheet Baptist Church’. I was invited as a guest speaker, along with my congregation and when we got here, all hell was breaking loose. It looks like a Halloween party gone terribly wrong. People were moaning and wearing white sheets with eye slits and then the caterwauling started and the white sheets came off. Also, a ‘minstrel show’ was taking place because ‘black’ was rubbing off on white sheets and then this one guy stood up and claimed to be a ‘lizard’ and somebody with a sheet draped over them fucked him up. He needs medical attention. What’s that? The address is 666 Devil’s Lane. Oh, and he’s been ‘tongue tied’. Well, we’re off! I got some souls to save! Hallelujah!”

“Reverend Courtland, do you want me to stick around and explain this mess?”

“No Sister Burnathat, and how many times have I told you not to grill INSIDE??!!! Have you set the whole damn building on fire?!”

“But, but, Reverend, I’m not cooking anything. Lightning struck!”

“Have mercy! The devil is come to claim his own! Get ta steppin’!!!!! Everybody out! The devil is home and revival is over!!!! Where’s my holy water?????!!!!!”

The Homeless Prostitute

prostitute

 

She’s bruised and she’s battered; she’s out there on the street.

She’ll suck your cock or straddle you; it’ll all be quick and neat.

 

She has nowhere to go, so it will have to be your place.

She’s not easy on the eye; best not look her in the face.

 

She’s the homeless prostitute; she uses sex to get her fix.

She’ll make you feel real good; she’s turned some real mean tricks.

 

The back door or the front door, it’s all the same to her

she’ll take it in the mouth and she’ll tell you, “thank you sir!”

 

She’s found in every city, and the Johns are all the same.

She’d never settle down, no one even knows her name.

 

She does just what she wants, she always aims to please.

She’d even fuck the devil and he’d get a new disease.

 

She’s got a racking cough, she’ll just mix it with your cum.

When the STDs take hold, you’ll wish your private parts were numb!


Written by,

Shelby I. Courtland

© 2013 Shelby I. Courtland

Disclaimer: I am not making fun of the homeless, so make no mistake about that. However, it was brought to my attention that since “sex” sells that I should incorporate “sex” into my poems about the homeless. So, in essence, I am fighting fire with fire.