What The Fuck?????!!!!!!

wtf2

Was it only yesterday that I put up a blog in essence stating that I would no longer write about how fucked up we all are and even though I did in fact title the blog, “Just Sit On Your Worthless Ass,” those of you that have read much by me know my style of writing? It is not friendly, nor is it conducive to making friends, but I am appalled after reading some of the comments over there. It was most definitely NOT my intent to bring about enmity between fellow bloggers. I was just stating my need to move on because I am tired and fed up with repeating myself and basically with preaching to the choir, which I’ve stated often enough. I have started a new blog with the intent that it should only contain deep and soulful poetry and prose from me and though I do understand that my followers have been extremely faithful even in the face of so many outrageous rants from me, I feel the need to move on due to the fact that I am causing my blood pressure to rise because of how sensitive I am and over the fact that I can do not a damn thing about a damn thing, beyond raving which is accomplishing nothing, constructive.

It was brought to my attention that I am railing against those that do not hear me and upon further reflection, I find this to be quite true and so what is the point? And since it is making me ill, I need to stop. But in no way was I attempting to discourage others from continuing the struggle to right the wrongs, undo the damage, mitigate the consequences of capitalism run amok, cease to care about the plight of others or just give up. That was never my intent when I posted “Just Sit On Your Worthless Ass.” That is just my unique style of writing.

I do understand why a couple of people have stated that they will miss my rants and could I please continue and so I ask, “To what purpose?” What difference are my rants making? I answer, “no difference at all!” And again, believe me when I say that I do sincerely appreciate the encouragement for me to continue on but when I scroll down and check out the blogs that are on my tracker, I am disheartened by what I see. I am really quite tired of reading about how Obama lies all the time when I know this. I am quite tired of reading about the fact that Europeans are still fucking over the Indians. I am quite tired of reading about the fact that Black people are incarcerated in numbers disproportionate to their population count. I am quite fed up past my eyeballs at reading about the misery that America’s military whores are unleashing on the world’s people, daily.

What really finished me off was reading about the thirteen year old boy that got burned up by a drone strike in Yemen. It touched me so deeply that for days, I feared for my sanity. When looking at his picture, the tears would just silently stream down my face and so I cannot look at him. My writing did not keep little Mohammed alive. My writing or ranting as it is so succinctly put, did nothing to stop Mohammed’s father and brother from dying by drone strike.

To those of you who think of me as strong, think again because even I once thought the same thing about myself but I have come to realize that I too, am weak. I am too weak to look at the picture of a little boy who died because the government of the country that I am a citizen of considered him to be a terrorist even though he was not, but he was killed anyway. I am too weak to look at his picture and not cry. I am too weak to be able to continue to rant against what happened to him because I am a failure. I failed to stop his death. I am too weak to continue ranting for no reason because that is what I am doing since I cannot stop Obama from droning the innocent. And so I take the walk of shame and I will become just like all of the other Americans that go about their daily lives in ignorance, cluelessness, apathy and complacency. In fact, because of what I now know, I wish that I had never left their ranks! They are the smart ones since here I sit, sniveling still because I had to look at Mohammed’s picture, AGAIN, in order to link that blog post to this one. Do I seriously need to continue in my attempts to get you to understand that my decision to abort my writing, excuse me, rants has nothing whatsoever to do with any of you? It is because I need to stop since I am only hurting myself and no one else and I must stop because I cannot face seeing another Mohammed. My heart is already broken over little thirteen year-old Mohammed and all that I can do is weep for him and that is helpful how? Exactly!

Frustrated!

Frustrated24Many times I have wanted to call it quits with regards to doing this ‘blogging’ thing and many times I have decided to forge ahead, to continue. Even though, like many, frustration kicks in because you put so much effort in before you click that ‘publish’ button. Some will get a few ‘likes’ and maybe even a comment or two and you think to yourself, “why did I go through all of the effort to research, to type and to find relevant images to display?” “Why has no one enjoyed the epiphany that I have experienced? Don’t they see what I see and if they do, then why have they not acted upon it? I’ve given them all the data they need in which to do what needs to be done.” Now, therein lies the problem. Do what? What can they do? What am I doing? I have been over this forwards, backwards, sideways, upside and down and there is just nothing that can be done to solve a multitude of the problems and issues that many face on a daily basis.

There will be no savior to sort this out for us. There will be no one person who will stand above the crowd and ‘fix it’. There will be no second coming of Christ, for those of you who believe in the first coming of Christ. We go on each day until there is no ‘next’ day. We open our eyes. We get out of bed and we do what we have to do to survive. This has been going on for centuries and it will continue until either we fuck this planet up to the point where it expels us all or we drop dead. GMO foods may kill us, a drone may kill us, or a vehicle accident may kill us, but either way, we will be just as dead. There is no way that we can fight every single battle there is. We are human and we are weak and fallible and the human body is going to seek sustenance over spirituality when push comes to shove. We can think that we have all the inherent goodness in the world, but if it came down to sacrificing ourselves in some way(I don’t know quite how) for the good of the many, what would you do? What sacrifice is worth it? What would be the point? What would change? History has shown us that even those who are held in high esteem, the ones who are in the history books for effecting change, what good did it do them? They sacrificed themselves to make people aware of the suffering and injustices perpetrated on others and look at where we are now? Not just here in America, but all over the world. What good did it do for the Reverend Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., to step out of his comfort zone and get assassinated for his efforts when the Supreme Court just dealt a blow to all that he and others marched and protested, got arrested and brutalized for? What good does it do to quote Gandhi? What good does it do to quote Mother Teresa? What good does it do to quote Malcolm X? George Orwell? Or any other ‘visionaries’ who tried to warn us of where we were headed.

Yes, some people have awakened, took a look around and said, “we’re fucked!” But what else can they do? If they have not the money to build affordable homes for the poor, if they have not the money to purchase land to grow food for the hungry, if they have not the money to pay the medical bills of the uninsured or money to simply put to good use and help as opposed to aiding in destruction, then there is nothing that they can do except to try to not contribute to the problem. There are so many so-called faith based charities that are nothing more than tax exempt corporations who are not helping the poor, they are not mitigating the consequences resulting from a lack of housing, food and health care. They are in the business of lining their pockets with one hand and preaching bullshit on the other. It is hypocrisy. That is all I see when I look around, hypocrisy in the guise of charities and government officials who grandstand to win votes and then disregard their constituents needs and instead, sell themselves to the highest corporate bidder for their own selfish agenda. Self is another key word of today. Selfish, self-fulfillment, self-serving, self-centered, self indulgent, self-satisfying, self, self and self. It is all about ME, well isn’t it? If not, who is it about? Is it about YOU? What can I do for you? What can you do for me? You scratch my back and I will scratch yours. That is the mindset of today.

Why do you think that when the holidays approach, people will gladly line up and stand in freezing, below average temperatures and trample each other over what is considered to be an unbeatable bargain? Why are they like that? Why is it that they can somehow find the time to pitch a tent for a week or more in a store parking lot to grab that huge TV, but when it comes to lining up to protest against homelessness, hunger, lack of medical care, there are a few stragglers wandering around with signs while people pass by them in vehicles yelling at them to “get a job!?” No one yells at those who are lined up to buy the latest Apple product to, “get a job!” The emphasis is placed on materialism to the exclusion of all else. If you don’t have it, you’re a loser. There are going to be winners, but there are going to be so many more losers and the winners have the microphone. The winners own the papers, the media and they feed us Kim Kardashian and Justin Bieber and Rihanna and we eat it up. When Kate Middleton or Michele Obama struts an outfit, there is a stampede to purchase said outfit. That is what is important? No, but it is to those who have been programmed by the people who control the media and who shove down their throat what is important.

So, just because we have not joined forces and somehow stopped a world takeover does not mean that all of us are simply sitting around awaiting the latest chapter on Tim Tebow, it is just that we are all limited in what we can do. I can volunteer. I can advocate on behalf of those who are suffering. I can even sometimes help house a homeless person. I can continue to keep the issues in the forefront. It does not matter if I never get a ‘like’ or a following. If I am talking to myself, so be it. The fact that I am sharing my thoughts, sharing what is important to me, sharing my frustration at the status quo may be all that I can do because I see no other way to get my two cents in, but I will not point the finger at another and say, “you are not doing enough.” I know not what they are dealing with and so I will concentrate on what I am dealing with and hope that I can somehow find it in me to help someone else, even if it is only one person. I cannot change the world. I can only say to the world, “we’re fucked!”