To The Racists In Lynchburg, Virginia, I’m Putting Your Asses On Notice And To My Mother Who Claims I Constantly Embarrass Her, Get Over It!

 

 

Lynchburg, Virginia boasts of nothing but confederate this and confederate that. There is a confederate trail at a cemetery on Fort Avenue. The sign encourages anyone driving on Fort Avenue to walk the confederate trail. There are streets named, “Plantation Road,” and “Confederate Avenue.” Homage is paid to the so-called ‘heroes’ of the confederacy. A tree that used to be a lynching tree was mourned by the racists in Lynchburg, Virginia when lightning struck the tree and killed it. Not too long ago, there was a scandal whereas Jerry Falwell stated that he would wear a mask only if it depicted whites in black face or wearing Ku Klux Klan (KKK) outfits. We had a governor who was dressed in either or both, but was trying to backtrack from that fact. Remember Governor Northam. We also had a restaurant on Fifth Street called, Fifth And Federal Station whereas the owner ordered ‘black face’ and KKK masks for his workers. Fifth and Federal Station has since closed down and another restaurant is slated to open in its former space. I will not be heading in there because whatever is going to take the place of that racist piece of shit, Fifth and Federal Station, is more than likely going to be more of the same.

I am pointing all of this out to say that this entire burg, all 49.6 square miles is 49.6 square miles of pure, unadulterated racism. This burg’s whites are so racist that dating back as far as I can remember in my childhood, I only remember seeing two white faces until I started going to school and one white face belonged to a doctor, Dr. Morris. He was the only pediatrician who would see Black children. If not for Dr. Morris, I don’t know what we would have done. I remember him as a kindly man, who when I had chicken pox, popped one of them and I was like, “Ewwww, that’s nasty!” He told me to stay home in bed and take it easy. I also remember when I had tonsillitis, he referred me to Dr. Rischer and Dr. Rischer was another fine doctor who also saw Black patients back then. He was an ear, nose and throat doctor who also operated to take bad tonsils out. I remember my mother told me that Doctor Rischer said that I was the prettiest patient that he had operated on that day and he had also operated on a little white child and my mother noted that the mother of the white child turned green upon hearing Dr. Rischer say that. And so as far as I am concerned,  there were probably about two or three whites who were not extremely racist in this burg because even when I started school and we were integrated with the whites, the white kids took to me like ducks take to water and when I would refuse to have anything to do with them, I would get called to the principal’s office and asked why was I not speaking to Teresa or Donna or whomever. I’m like, “WTH!” “I talk to whomever I please, or not!” 

But as usual, I digress. I want ALL the racists in Lynchburg, Virginia, and you know who you are, to understand this fact, I am not going to let up on you racist pieces of shit until something is done about reining your vile, vicious, evil, racist shit in. You are going to be MADE to answer for the racist, evil shit that you are doing to those who look like me. It is way past time that something was done to stop that shit and I am going to make every breath that I take, a breath that is used to speak out on what the hell you fucktards are doing to Black people in this hellish burg that you treat as your own personal fiefdom and as though you don’t have to abide by laws, regulations, rules or anything that’s not put on the books by you vile and filthy pieces of putrid racist filth! I was born in this cesspool and so there is very little that I don’t know about it and what I did not know, I quickly found out. So, you can attempt to do your worst to me, but that is only going to embolden me to go after your damn racist asses with everything I can muster to make sure that the evil shit you do is uncovered and that you are made to answer for it.

As for my mother, who is one who shucks and jives to you racists and gets her voice set all nice and sweet when talking to a damn racist but yet cusses her children out as if we’ve done something wrong by merely existing, I’ve got a few words for you. You don’t even want to sit inside a restaurant with me. You won’t even go inside a store with me, talking about how loud I am and what an embarrassment I am to you. You have told me over and over what an embarrassment I am to you. What the fuck do you mean? I am YOUR flesh and blood and so if I am an embarrassment to you, you are an embarrassment to me because I did not give birth to you, you gave birth to me. I remember you coming home exclaiming over what those rich white little shits used to do when you were cleaning their homes and how you mistreated us because we weren’t the rich white little shits that you had just left. How the fuck was that on us? That shit was on you! I didn’t ask to be born in a cesspool of racism called “Lynchburg, Virginia.” That shit was on you and that sperm donor daddy who was useless and who told us that we were an embarrassment to him as well. Really???!! How the hell could we have been an embarrassment to a piece of filth that beat your ass, tried to beat my baby sister’s ass, wanted to beat my ass, but I wasn’t having it and also was never home because he was too busy out whoring around? The two of you were the worst parents any children could ever have and we were an embarrassment to you assholes???!?!!! Get the fuck outta here!!!

The same quack you have for a doctor is the same quack I have, but the difference is, you more than likely will do everything that filthy, racist fucker suggests. I’m sure your ass is vaccinated and boostered the hell up and yet someone told me that you’re experiencing kidney problems. You know, at one time, I would be feeling sorry for you, but that sorry dried up aeons ago and it will never surface again. I used to try and help your ass out even when you were belittling me, but that ship has sailed. Tell folks when was the last time you laid eyes on me. You can’t even fucking remember. And I hear tell that your ass is so foul, you sent Baeboo packing when she was trying to help you. And she has the patience of Job, but even she had to leave your ass, high and dry. Even Bubba said that when he pass by your house, the pedal is most definitely meeting the metal, he don’t want to give you a chance to flag him the fuck down. Ain’t nobody trying to fuck with you, but I’m the embarrassment???!!!!

You would talk about your own children to these racists that didn’t give a damn about you or us. Those racists would call you and cry in your ear on the phone talking about their fucked up lives because even having loads of money, don’t stop the issues and yet, when you came home from cleaning their homes, all you’d talk about is little Jessica said this and little Jenny said that and what Jay did and how cute Jenny said something. But would turn around and cuss us the hell out, but yet we are YOUR embarrassment????!!!! Are you fucking serious???? And you wonder why I have ZERO respect for you now??? I just know you don’t!!!! And I meant every single goddamn word of that letter I wrote for you and posted on this blog for your 77th birthday and I hope you saw it.

You put racists over us. You were made privy to the criminal acts of racists and yet what did you do about it? You fucking kept quiet about the shit because you were too intent on telling your own flesh and blood how much of an embarrassment we were to you. I was such an embarrassment that you allowed a man to beat my ass in your house while you and that sperm donor father of mine watched. I was such an embarrassment to you and yet I was the only one who would pull your husband off your ass when he was kicking you six ways to Sunday even though you used to drive us to illegal nip joints at night and leave us. But we are the embarrassment????!!!! And I am still appalled by your holier than thou attitude when we used to have to sit up in church and listen to that bullshit and then go home and watch the two of you fight like cats and dogs because of your husband’s whoring ways. He even stated long before he died that he was leaving no will because he wanted us all to fight over his belongings. What belongings? A big, fucked up house, three fucked up vehicles, some suits and some rings???!! I wanted nothing from his ass and that is exactly what I received because you were too busy handing his suits and rings over to the ‘men’ who had beat your daughters all throughout their marriage until I escaped, fled the state and my sister finally divorced her piece of shit scumbag husband. But yet you still claim them to this very day as being your “sons-in-law.” You’re going to have to answer for that shit just like these vile, vicious racists are going to have to answer for their shit! But I’ll be damned if I’m YOUR embarrassment heifer because YOU ARE MINE!!! Now suck on that!!!

All y’all Lynchburg racist motherfuckers are on notice and I don’t give a shit what you throw at me, I’m throwing shit right back at your foul asses!! If I’ll throw my own mother under the goddamn bus since she claims I’m some sort of embarrassment to her, then every motherfucking body else is going underneath that bitch as well!! All y’all Lynchburg racist motherfuckers are fair game!!! And I ain’t fucking playing! And if any of my so-called ‘other relatives’ want a piece of this action, try me!! Yeah! Your asses already know to leave me the fuck alone! You don’t want this smoke because you know I know all y’all’s fucking business! You better keep the fuck quiet while I do MY thang!

A Letter To My Mother On Her 77th Birthday! Happy Birthday Mother

 

Happy Birthday Mother!

Yes, you brought me into this world;
a squalling little Black baby girl.
You belittled everything I ever did
and you beat me for nothing when I was a kid.

You want me to honor, love and respect you
when what I did was from you, take my cue.
I have never known what love is and I never will.
Not one tear for love will my eyes ever spill.

I’ve been called cold, callous and cruel,
but never have I been called, “love’s favorite fool.”
I know that this should be all about your day,
and it is in its own strange and morbid way.

There is just something that needs saying
because in this town where you live, I’m not staying.
I have come running every time you’ve ever called
and listened to each admonishment on my character, you’ve drawled.

That stops here and now because I don’t need you anymore.
I never really did but I’ve just got to settle the score.
When you talked about me to your acquaintances, that hurt.
But knowing what you are mother, I’m an expert.

I’ve watched you down through the years
send people packing with words sharper than shears.
I’ve listened to you drone on about how great you are
when you are too evil and wicked for hell by far.

You’ve got foul names for everyone you ever meet.
The language you use, the derogatory names, you bleat
to anyone who will come within your reach.
You sit on your ass and search for an invective to screech.

Then you have the nerve to wonder why you sit home alone
and that to this very day, there’s nothing for you to atone.
But your day is coming mother. It may not be here yet,
but then again, you may already be paying your debt.

Your favorite one of us died from drugs years ago
and the man you couldn’t leave hated your ass from the get-go.
Even his friends said he died to get away from you
and this I can believe because I’d do the same thing too.

So sit in your big falling down house and think,
think of all the reasons why you should take to drink.
Believe that you are good and that all others are at fault
And you’ll still deny your evilness when they lower you in that vault.

And lower you they will mother, for we must all go that route.
But don’t you think for one second that your ‘goodness’, I will tout.
You are evil personified and though I may drop dead first,
at least I’ll have the pleasure of knowing that your ass is accursed.

You will lie beside a man who hated you to the end.
Your youngest died years ago and she was a dope fiend.
And yet you blame us for problems we never placed at your door
even though you share the blame because we are what you bore!

Written by,
Shelby I. Courtland
©2019 Shelby I. Courtland

I am going to attempt to find the words to convey just what emotions you evoke in me mother; hate, disgust, loathing and yes…pity, for you are so despicable, nasty and hateful that no one wants to come around you and I actually pity you. I spent so many years trying to gain affection from you that was never yours to give because you hate yourself. You loathe yourself for why else would you stay with a man who, when you were pregnant with me, your first baby, threw you a quarter when you told him you were hungry and he said, upon throwing you a quarter, “Here, I wouldn’t want to see a dog hungry.” And yet you thought so little of yourself that not only did you continue to lie with that slug, you brought two more children into this world to be condemned to live with two people who hated each other. We learned to hate as well.

I used to think that the house we lived in was haunted because all of a sudden, everyone inside it would go the fuck off and get to cussing each other out for no apparent reason. I watched on so many occasions, that sperm donor we were supposed to call, “Dad,” come in and beat your ass! Every weekend it was, wasn’t it mother? And what did you do? Why you went to the police station, pressed charges and three days later, your husband…our father was back inside the house. And it was going to be just a matter of time before it happened again and again and again. And yet, you expected us to grow into healthy, mentally strong adults when we had no guidance whatsoever from the likes of you and our sperm donor dad. I sit somewhere posting poems for a sister who you showered with whatever your brand of ‘affection’ can be called simply because she was lighter than myself and my other sister. I remember you making us go to bed when the sun was still out in the summer just because dad hadn’t come home from work and you knew where he was. Like that was our fault. You would get us up in the middle of the night and take us to illegal ‘nip’ joints that sold bootleg liquor just because you saw dad’s car parked there. Small children we were and in our nightclothes and yet you told us to “Go in and find your daddy!” You knew what would happen when we did because any attention from him was better than no attention from him. You were mentally ill then and you still are. We just didn’t know it. We longed for you to leave. We’d have been better off if you had. But no, you had to continue to tell anyone who would listen just how put upon you were, just how long suffering you were. Oh, the pity parties you threw. How I hate you! And though so many of your ‘acquaintances’ have dropped dead, there you still sit, in your misery and hatefulness and spitefulness, you manipulative control freak. The saying is, “You can’t kill the devil!” And ‘they’ must be right because you’re still sitting above ground. The devil doesn’t even want your foul ass and no wonder!

Well mother, I could continue in this vein, but you know what you’ve done. I needn’t display ALL of what you think are your dirty little secrets. But newsflash mother! No one has ever bought that bullshit! No one! So save it! That is why no one comes around you anymore because they don’t want to hear you laud yourself to all and sundry when everyone knows what a miserable piece of shit you really are. Deal with what you are and come to terms with it. The rest of us have. And so with that having been said, “Go to hell mother!” oh and, “Happy Birthday!”