The day before my birthday
is a melancholy one.
I sit here contemplating
what I should do for fun.
Would a trip to New York
be just the thing for me?
Or should I relax in the tub
and go on a shopping spree?
As I reflect on my life,
I wonder what would I miss
if I never saw another day?
Would I still live like this?
Did I ever touch one single heart
or let someone know I cared?
Was I always just too shallow
since love, I never shared?
What a loveless life I’ve lived.
With no thought for those I hurt.
I just pack and move elsewhere
like some twenty year old flirt.
It’s always been about me.
I’ve never lived for another.
This aimless life, I choose
when faced with love, I burn rubber.
Written by,
Shelby I. Courtland
©2016 Shelby I. Courtland
I don’t know where this came from, I really don’t except for the fact that I always get a little maudlin around my birthday because of the fact that I’m on the ‘wrong’ side of 25 and each year causes me to reflect a little bit deeper and this year, I’ve gone even deeper.
I remember when I was a child, I could not wait for my birthday because we were treated like a princess for the day; a big birthday party with so many friends over and lots and lots of gifts and all my favorite foods including my favorite cake. And now, it’s like, WOAH! What the hell??!! It’s like before I can blink twice, it’s my birthday again and all the gifts and hoopla still don’t make up for the fact that I’m getting older and older and feeling it. Oh well. I’ll get over it. I just wondered if anyone else over 25 experiences anything similar or do you just take it all in stride. I hope not too many are like me who cannot dwell in the present, but must forever look back on the past and compare it to today, most unfavorably.