Hey! NSA! CIA! FBI! Listed Are My Search Engine Terms..In Case Ya Missed ‘Em!






Shelby Courtland’s search engine terms for April 3rd, 2015 are as follows:


where can I find a Big Black monster dick

now that I’ve eaten, where can I find fresh out-of-season strawberries

where can I find edible underwear

my vibrator broke, where is the nearest repair shop

I’m out of whipped cream, where is the nearest farm

how to join the CIA/ISIS

how to make a bomb in 3 easy steps

how tall is the fence at the White House

where does Dick, The Torturer live

how can I get past airport security with a Glock

where on my body would they not check for Cuban cigars

I may be on a terror watch list, how do I find out for sure

how to make counterfeit money in two easy steps like the Feds

what is the balance in my offshore account

who do I have to blow to stop an IRS audit

how do I start my own pyramid scheme and not get caught

how to launder money like the big banks and get away with it like the big banks

how to start a for profit prison

how to start a tax exempt bullshit religious cult

So, NSA! CIA! FBI! Did ya miss anything? Now, come and pick my ass up! I fucking dare you!






You Rotten Ass Dirty Bastards! Fuck You!!!!


I just bought this goddamn brand new ass computer and the spying motherfuckers are at it again, attempting to crash and burn this one. Well, here’s some news for you spying ass motherfuckers, I got fucking backup! Blow this shit up and another one is waiting in the wings and believe me when I say this, I’m not a goddamn overzealous ass consumer and so therefore, I’ve put a bit put aside and if you fucking blow up the replacement to this one, well guess the fuck what! I’m going to get replacements for the goddamn replacements motherfuckers! Keep trying to shut me the fuck up and though you may make it expensive for me to push back on you spying motherfuckers, push back I will!! I ain’t fucking backing down without a goddamn fight!

It ain’t my motherfucking fault that you(the FBI) fucking look clueless with your calling for American citizens to snitch on each other because some have gotten fed up with your shit stirring and jumped the goddamn fence and joined some motherfuckers that the CIA trained and let loose. Just because you didn’t think those motherfuckers would turn on their own goddamn trainers is no reason to make a go at me just because I got the balls to put it out there how stupid all of you clueless fucks look! You ain’t fucking gotta like it.

Don’t fucking fuck with me and my shit just because the U.S. government looks more and more clueless, inept and stupid by the day. It’s not hard to figure out that the U.S. ain’t about shit! I live in this motherfucking shithole and I know firsthand that this shit is sinking like a stone. The only thing we got going on is the military because the cannon fodder ain’t got the sense God gave a goat and will still rush off to bully some helpless country that can’t fight back! The world now knows that we stand for not a goddamn thing but shit. We couldn’t bring goddamn freedom and democracy to an ant farm. We’d airstrike the ant farm, kill everything moving and take every goddamn thing the poor ants managed to build, grow and store.

Our fucking power grid is shot to shit! The western half of the United States is as dry as a vulture picked carcass. What money Americans have still managed to ‘earn’, they’re hoarding and even keeping it out of banks. The high cost of food has decreased Americans ability to spend on other things and so to compensate and do damage control, the U.S. government had to invent ‘terrorists’ so that that would give the military cannon fodder, a goddamn job to do as opposed to sitting around the bases going hungry because they ain’t got enough food stamps coming in and like I’ve stated, the fucking price of food, even on military bases, has risen.

So now, the stupid military grunt shits are fighting terrorists in Iraq and Syria that were trained by the CIA with complete knowledge of the NSA and of course to get the stupid American sheeple behind the carnage, Hollywood style videos were released of white men getting beheaded. Here’s an idea, if you want to make it all so believable, why didn’t you ship my Black ass over and have ISIS aka IS aka ISIL aka the Khorasan Group aka al-Qaeda aka al-Nusra Front aka Jabhat al-Nusra aka Jabba the Hutt aka The Backyard Barbeque Gang aka Beheaders Anonymous aka Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves and insert next excuse to war on another country’s terrorist group here—>_____________ behead me? Your stupid shit is as transparent as glass if only people will wake the fuck up, take their goddamn rose colored glasses and blinders off.

And it is quite obvious that my blinders ain’t on and I’ve stomped the shit out of my rose colored glasses. I see quite clearly the deliberate destruction that the U.S. is perpetrating all across this planet on innocent people all in the name of fighting terrorists that the U.S. government fucking trained. Well if there are any terrorists, fucking U.S. government, your nasty ass, vile CIA made them. And the FBI ain’t no better. Asking people to spy on each other when we’re paying for the goddamn NSA to spy on us already, and now we are to do their job FOR them. Are you fucking kidding me? For real? Every goddamn FBI agent must use Velcro ’cause it would appear that none of you have the fucking brains to know how to tie your own goddamn shoestrings. Don’t like people pointing out this fact, then cut the bullshit and get with the program that all Americans ain’t on some simple ass foolishness like you motherfuckers apparently think we are! I didn’t just fall off the goddamn turnip truck, you fucking useless, clueless bastards!

Once again motherfuckers, I am going to continue to call your bullshit, “Bullshit!” You ain’t got to like it and you damn sure ain’t got to appreciate it, but there you have it. You can blow my shit up, and believe this, my shit will be back up and running, you nasty, vile, depraved, filthy, corrupt, perverted degenerates!! Fuck you!

America, The FBI Needs YOUR Help!

masked man unmasked

FBI asks public to help identify militant in Islamic State video

WASHINGTON – The FBI is asking the public to help identify a masked man who speaks in what is believed to be a North American accent in a video that Islamic State militants released last month aimed at Western audiences.

In an excerpt of the video released by the FBI, the man, dressed in camouflage and wearing a shoulder holster, speaks in English and Arabic as he stands in front of men he says are Islamic State prisoners.

“We’re hoping that someone might recognize this individual and provide us with key pieces of information,”


So, let me get this straight. The FBI contacted the NSA and said, “A 55 minute video was released by Islamic State militants and someone speaking with a North American accent was featured and since you’re all in the know and in everybody’s business, tell us who this person is.” The NSA contacts the CIA and the CIA says, “uh…it’s one of our agents gone rogue. Try and keep this on the down low by asking for the public’s help. By doing so, we can stave off answering questions because the public will be so thrilled to play, ‘match that voice’ and ‘match these eyes that cry every night for you!”

So, Americans, if your brother is missing and he’s Black, that’s not him, he’s locked up. If your father is white and he has been tanning a lot lately and he is now missing, you might want to just pretend that he’s not missing unless you’ve got a grudge against him and if you do, contact the FBI and tell them that you think that that’s your dad, gone off to fight with ISIS because he lost his good paying job and then got laid-off when his new place of employment down-sized.

We are now to turn informant for the FBI which means, if you haven’t seen your neighbor for a couple of weeks, the FBI wants you to contact them and let them know this. They’ll proceed to SWAT up and shoot the place down, only to find that the neighbor dropped dead and no one cared and so, he was found rotting away or the neighbor simply lost his job and has been hiding out at home, hoping that the neighbors think his car broke down and he’s taking the bus to work. But tell the FBI anyway. We’ve all got to do our part to bring this dude with a North American accent to ‘justice’.

I am at this moment ‘manning’ the FBI tip line and so far, we’ve only had one caller to call in and say that her boyfriend is missing and she just knows he’s with a slut that he met the previous night at the Olive Garden and she wants to get back at him for it. We don’t want crank calls, people! This is serious! You have an obligation to your country to see that all terrorists are brought to justice, you know, like what’s been going down in Guantanamo and in secret CIA operated facilities in countries all across this planet.

Now, turn your fellow Americans in. Do it for ‘god’ and do it for your country! And remember, we Americans are the proud, the exceptional, the informants! Now let’s play, “Guess Who?”

Oh, and my 2nd guess? Zorro! ROTFLMAO!!!

ISIS Is On YouTube!

ISIS video

ISIS is on YouTube
and they’ve got a Twitter feed.
The NSA can’t find them,
but they know I’m smoking weed.

When al-CIAda palled last year,
another scapegoat did they need.
So here comes ISIS to the rescue.
They’ll fill the bill indeed.

Who’ll be next, I’m not sure,
but I know they’ll make it good.
They’ve got to fan the flames,
like with the Muslim Brotherhood.

Obama’s lost his mind,
he and McCain are bat shit nuts.
They’ve got a trigger happy finger.
I wish they’d bang some nasty sluts.

Oh we’ll pay the price, we will
for the criminal minded whores,
when Putin turns off the gas,
the EU won’t toast no s’mores!

So, terror has a new name.
What will they think of next?
Why can’t the NSA find them?
Because with me, they are obsessed!

Oh, I’m flattered, yes I am
but that don’t cut no ice.
The bad guys get away
and someone’s head just paid the price.

Written by,
Shelby I. Courtland
©2014 Shelby I. Courtland



I haven’t posted for awhile because I am just too afraid. Can you imagine that? Me! Afraid?

Well, you see, I had my computer blow up on me and I’m not trying to have that happen again. Apparently, I’ve been a very, very bad girl and since everything we type on a computer is going to spy central, and every telephone call we make is also going to spy central, what the hell! Nothing is secure. Nothing is safe from the spies and so I am afraid of being considered a domestic terrorist and sent off to Guantanamo or some unknown prison hell in some other country and denied due process. I am afraid that I will become like Edward Snowden, a person without a country. I am afraid that I will end up like Chelsea Manning, locked away for 35 years without a hope of early release.

We are not to stir the pot. We are to fall in step and not question. We must not question authority. Our government will not hurt us if we do as it dictates. Never question governmental authority. Accept what is being shoved down your throat and remember to always wave a flag as that is what the true patriot does. The true patriot is loyal to her country and would never think of her country as in the wrong. America does no wrong. America can do no wrong because America stands for freedom and democracy and human rights and peace and justice. America is a benevolent and giving country. It has never harmed even a fly. Its people get along. There are no homeless, hungry or poverty stricken people in America. Everyone has access to decent health care. No child is inadequately educated. No child is left behind. America is a christian nation founded on the belief that “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness, AS LONG AS YOU ARE A RICH, WHITE MALE!”

America is the land of freedom.

We came, we saw, we conquered, peacefully.
We needed laborers and we stole them, peacefully.
We thirst for oil and we bomb for it, peacefully.
We are the torch bearers for war, peacefully.
We create conflicts everywhere we go, peacefully.
We desire peace, our brand of peace, peacefully.
We love the world and we show it, peacefully.
We are the world’s benevolent benefactor, peacefully.
We demand that you bow to America, peacefully!
We are ‘exeptional’. We are Americans!
Oh and we are full of shit!! Didn’t you know?!!
Peace to the world from America! “Peace? Out!!”

Damn! Am I full of shit or what?! Fucking peace!

Written by,
Shelby I. Courtland
©2014 Shelby I. Courtland

‘Black Agenda Report’, This Time, You’re Wrong!



First of all Black people are no more ‘mad’ than any other ethnic group in America. In fact, Black people would come in as more sane than most, given the fact that since Black people ‘enjoy’ more poverty than any other group besides the American Indians, and have had to cope with a lot more shit heaped on them than just about any other group of people in America. Middle aged, middle-class white males lead when speaking on the subject of madness seeing as how they are the usual suspects when a story breaks about a murder/suicide and the inability to tolerate poverty or an economic downturn is usually at the center of it. But, that’s another blog in and of itself.

Black people may have overwhelmingly voted for Barack Obama(and we certainly could not have gotten him elected all by our lonesome) but that does not mean that he is given a free pass to do whatever he pleases and that he can rest assured that he will continue to have the full and unfailing support of the Black community. We are not stupid despite all of the attempts being made to ‘dumb us down’. By polling a thousand people and coming to the conclusion that the majority of Black people are ‘mad’ because this particular poll suggests that the majority of ‘Black’ people who were polled are not upset at all with the NSA spying on them, nor were they upset and angered over Obama’s stupid excuses for bombing the hell out of Syria is just plain, ridiculous. Black people opposed the bombing of Syria just as vehemently as others. We have not collectively gone insane just because Barack Obama was elected and re-elected President of the god awful United Snakes Of Amurderer.

I understand that perhaps Glen Ford feels that with the U.S. being hell bent on either dumbing down or incarcerating the Black populace, and with education being what it is in inner city schools, this has led him to believe that Black people cannot think for themselves or lack common sense and have therefore, gone ‘Obamacrazed’ simply because one poll suggested that Black Americans overlook Obama’s many faults thanks to his skin tone. Oh, yes Glen Ford, we put two and two together and we know when we have been bamboozled. I cannot speak for ALL Black Americans, but I do know that there are millions of us who are not ‘madly’ in love with Obama’s policies. Polls have stated that people ‘like’ Obama’s personality but that they dislike his policies. It would do well for you to focus on what that says, if you want to make blanket statements on an entire ethnic group based on one poll. I think that that was extremely disingenuous of you.

Black people have more reasons to despise Barack Obama with each passing day as he has yet to address any of the many issues that plague Black communities all across this country. Even though Obama’s home is in Chicago, it took a school shooting in Newtown, CT to get him to step up and speak out against violent shootings even when he knew of the daily shootings that take place damn near right out side his home in Chicago. It is quite obvious to Black America that Obama doesn’t give a goddamn about them. So just why would they support, en masse his Administration’s spying on not just Black Americans, but all Americans and apparently, everyone else all around the world? We are not stupid, nor are we ‘mad’, at least not in the way that you imply.

Many Black Americans are well aware that Obama does not represent them as his history has nothing whatsoever to do with theirs. He is not a descendant of African slaves. Obama’s daddy wasn’t lynched for messing around with his white mama. That is our history. It is not his. He has nothing in common with us. His skin tone doesn’t automatically make him a Black American, only the white’s one-drop rule made him check ‘African-American’ on his census form. And I don’t make the rules because as far as I am concerned, Barack Obama is nothing more than a willing puppet of his white masters who are pulling his strings and anyone with more than two brain cells connected, regardless of their skin tone can see that.

So, in essence, stop generalizing and categorizing because Black Americans are not marching lockstep with Obama on the NSA spying, nor on his stupid reasoning behind bombing the hell out of Syria. We are not giving him a free pass on his failure to take steps to staunch the flow of Black Americans into for-profit prisons. He is not getting a free pass on the fact that he knows that the unemployment rate for Blacks has increased under his dubious leadership and has been in the double digits since the end of slavery. He is not getting a free pass when it comes to drone striking innocent people in foreign lands who have done nothing to warrant it. He does not get a free pass when it comes to his CIA backed rebels tearing unholy hell out of just about every country in the Middle East. He doesn’t get a goddamn free pass just because he has a damn permanent tan. That is a mere triviality compared to what he stands for and what he stands for most definitely does not coincide with what Black Americans stand for, at least not this one!

Yes, goddamn it! I am mad, mad as hell. Can’t you tell? Or do I need to hand you some poll results first?

What A Wonderful Holiday!

what wonderful holiday

The NSA is shuttered.
And the drone strikes have ceased.
Peace doth fill the land.
The CIA has left the East.

Snowden is not in exile,
and Manning is free to go.
No war crimes are committed.
Obama closed Guantanamo!

Sequestration’s off the table.
and no benefits are cut.
On the homeless and the poor,
No door is to be shut.

Corporations pay a living wage.
They love their employees.
Weary workers take vacation,
and get sick time when they sneeze.

We need clean air and water,
so they put an end to fracking.
Fukushima never happened.
And the glaciers are not cracking.

Netanyahu grew a heart.
and so the Gaza Strip is fine
US soldiers left Afghanistan,
and Iran is now in line.

Bush and Cheney are in prison.
They are tortured every day.
‘Twas a miracle of Christmas.
What a wonderful holiday!

Written by,
Shelby I. Courtland
© 2013 Shelby I. Courtland

Yeah, I fucking wish!!!



Inner city grime.
Gang violence and crime.

Blood in the streets.
No justice, no peace.

Children malnourished.
An everyday occurrence.

For profit prison.

The poor, dead broke.
The homeless croak.

Money for missiles
and other projectiles.

Corporate greed.
Worker’s need.

Wall Street bailout.
Main street fallout.

Secret whispers.
Political prisoners.

Freedom denied.
Strategy devised.

Divide and conquer,
from a teleprompter.

Genetically modified.
All cut and dried.

Status? Obsolete.
Annihilation: Complete!

Written by,

Shelby I. Courtland
© 2013 Shelby I. Courtland

For Shame!

Once, I would have said that Bradley Manning deserves the Nobel Peace Prize, but since Obama has one, quite obviously, it has no meaning anymore. Therefore, I can only state that Bradley Manning should be FREE!!!!
Once, I would have said that Bradley Manning deserves the Nobel Peace Prize, but since Obama has one, quite obviously, it has no meaning anymore. Therefore, I can only state that Bradley Manning should be FREE!!!!
Awarded a Nobel Peace Prize for torture...and what's more, he's proud of it!
Awarded a Nobel Peace Prize for torture…and what’s more, he’s proud of it!

I awake, screaming in the night,
knowing where I am and paralyzed with fright.

Eyes wide from terror, body drenched in sweat.
My tormentor’s coming back, I know what to expect.

I hear the cell door clang; I am thrown to the floor.
He kicks me in the gut; where I am already sore.

Will the torture never end? My body’s had enough.
Yes, these are Americans who are treating me this rough.

A gun put to my head, the trigger is released.
They do this every day and then call me, “the beast!”

Obama’s in control; the commander-in-chief,
who promised us transparency, then stole it like a thief.

Deception and transparency do not go hand in hand.
Horrific acts of torture can be found throughout this land.

The leaders of this country are corrupt right to the core.
People need to know just what they’re paying for.

I am tortured every day for exposing all the lies.
Did Obama not receive a Nobel Peace Prize?

What does it mean to him? Not a thing and that’s for sure!
If he ever had the truth disease, I see he found a cure.

I’ll spend my life in prison; unlike others I could name.
Those who order torture are the ones still in the game.

I was young and so naïve when arrested in Iraq;
for leaking secret documents and I take nothing back.

Torture is the shame; not sharing what I knew.
I’m at peace with myself; the shame belongs on you.

Written by,

Shelby I. Courtland
© 2013 Shelby I. Courtland

Under the Obama administration, seven Espionage Act prosecutions have been unleashed – more than all those initiated by previous presidents combined. Of those that have been completed, prosecutions have either failed – as in the case of Thomas Drake, a former NSA official against whom all 10 charges were dropped – or led to a prison term for non-Espionage Act charges, as in the case of John Kiriakou, who is serving a 30-month sentence for disclosing classified information about a fellow CIA officer.

“The Manning verdict takes us to a whole other level,” said Liza Goitein, who co-directs the Brennan Center for Justice’s liberty and national security programme. “The government has done a poor job in thinking through the potential effects of this prosecution.”

Though Manning was found not guilty of the most serious charge, “aiding the enemy”, Goitein suggested that multiple convictions under the Espionage Act are certain to have a chilling effect across public information. “This will discourage the average whistleblower, an official who maybe has just a few classified documents that reveal corruption or wrong-doing and who ensure[s] accountability in the system. This will shoot down the least offensive, and the most valuable leaks.”

If the Obama Administration was all about ‘transparency’ then why has this administration prosecuted more ‘whistleblowers’ than all other presidents combined????!!!! This speaks volumes about the corruption that is rampant in this administration to the point where they are hell bent on attempting to prosecute those who have exposed their spying and their filthy war crimes, and then try to make an example out of them to discourage others from shedding light on their crimes and depravities. We have sunk to a new low in America when a corrupt government can point to a man and say “you are guilty because you exposed the truth that we did not want exposed and laid us open to claims of hypocrisy even though that is exactly what we are,” and many of us jump on the bandwagon. We do not care that this man is being subjected to torture and will most likely spend the rest of his life behind bars. I am so terribly sorry that unlike Edward Snowden, Bradley Manning was unable to seek sanctuary.

There is something terribly wrong in America when Russia is granting asylum to someone seeking asylum coming FROM America! America was supposed to be a beacon for people seeking relief from persecution and now the roles are reversed. We are the persecutors!…but then again…haven’t we always been?

Are We Really Free?

"Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free"...from spying and collecting our data.
“Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free”…from the government spying on us and collecting our data.

Progression to transparency? Guess not!
Progression to transparency? Guess not!

Why is my government spying on me?
Am I not in the land of lady liberty?

And what about ‘freedom and justice for all’?
That’s long gone, there’s been a recall.

They stomped the constitution and the bill of rights to death.
Got caught up in the act of secret, undercover stealth.

“We the people,” have freedoms nevermore.
When government officials are knocking down our door.

We look the other way when the government is wrong.
And never stop to think that we shouldn’t go along.

They play on our ‘terror’ fears to keep us all in line.
Gather data on our phone records; yes, yours and mine.

They say that they’re our savior, but is it really true?
Who are the terrorists? Could it be me and you?

We gave up our rights to keep the ‘bogeyman’ away.
I guess we all did promise to do everything they say.
Never question why. What do we know?
There’s the snooping NSA and don’t forget Guantanamo!

Doubting their intent? That’s not patriotic.
Trust in your government no matter how despotic.

Written by,

Shelby I. Courtland
©2013 Shelby I. Courtland

“Trust in the U.S. government? That’ll be the day!”
Apparently, Ecuador is standing firm against the U.S. government’s threats to cease preferential treatment and trade agreements.
Alvarado, who called threats from the US over trade arrangements a form of “blackmail,” said Ecuador’s government would not only willingly accept the loss of approximately $23 million in trade benefits, but in addition would offer a gift, in the form of an aid package of the same amount, that would be directed to provide human rights training in the United States.
source:http://www.commondreams.org/headline/2013/06/27-2 Ecuador to Us:We Won’t be ‘blackmailed’ over Snowden

Now, the U.S. government is engaging in what amounts to ‘blackmail’ in order to get Ecuador to deny asylum to the alleged ‘spy’ who spied on the U.S. government spying on its citizens and became a ‘whistleblower’. Ever one to take the high road, aren’t we? “Ecuador, it seems that the U.S. government could indeed use that ‘human rights training’ that your country is so willing to provide, quick, fast and in a hurry.” Not that it’ll do any good. We are talking about the U.S. government you know.