The Cost of Pumping Peter Piper’s Pecker!

Nothing is more important than pumping that pickled pecker up!
Warning: Pickled pecker plumper

Peckercare paid a pack to pump plenty Peter Pipers’ pickled peckers.
A peck of pickled peckers Peckercare pumped.
If Peckercare paid a pack for pumping pickled peckers,
Who got poked by the pumped pickled peckers that Peckercare pumped?

This is a quite a pickle. Apparently, Peckercare was over-priced for pumping pickled peckers and why is pickled peckers in need of pumping? Now, I understand that people’s peckers are living longer and the pumping mechanism gets puckered out, but to pay double for the pumping of pickled peckers just seems perplexing to me. From what I understand, no one has ever died because their pickled pecker puckered.

Peter doesn’t really NEED a pecker pumper, but Peter’s pecker was pumped to the tune of $172 million. Weee willy, thatsalotsa pumpin’! But get this, Peckercare doesn’t pay for dental work, but Peckercare will pay for Peter Piper’s pecker pumper. So, when Pops pokes you with his pumped pecker, thanks to Peckercare paying double what the going rate is for a pecker pumper, don’t look in Pop’s puckered mouth, his pecker is more pumportant.

Department of Health and Human Services said Medicare, the government health insurance system for seniors, paid nearly 474,000 claims for vacuum erection systems, or VES.

…and just when I thought I’d heard it all…..Peter Piper’s pecker’s pump appears and pisses in my Puffa Puffa Rice cereal. Sorry granpa, but you gotta look elsewhere, this lady ain’t having none of your Peckercare paid for pickled pumped pecker! Fuck off!

11 thoughts on “The Cost of Pumping Peter Piper’s Pecker!

  1. I heard this on a radio program, and I was under the impression that it was a Onion story. The government has a long history of over paying and charging for things. I just thought it had stopped. Oh well, I people die in the street for lack of basic needs while the lumped get’s to rise again.


    1. Oh, please! I am not surprised that they had no problem paying double the price to pump the puckered pecker. After all, we are talking about THE most important part of Peter Piper’s anatomy. Gotta keep those peckers pumped even at 99. Doncha know! LOL! “Pump a pecker, save a life!”, the new Medicare motto!


    1. Come on now Tube, pleasingly plump peckers please, purportedly. The puckered pecker posted poor poll performances. Preliminary Pew polls posted poor puckered pecker performances preparatory to pumping. Upon pumping, plump peckers performed perfectly. Remember, there is pump plump and then there is just plump.


    1. Robert, Peckicare paid because who runs the government? Pickled puckered peckers, my good man! You know the score, they play “my plumped pickled pecker packs a powerful punch compared to your pitiful puckered pickled pecker,” says the Dems to the Repubs and vice versa. They’re on some “my cock’s bigger’n your cock” bullshit.


  2. “Boys will be boys, and so will a lot of middle-aged men.” –Kin Hubbard

    “The first testicular guard, the “Cup,” was used in Hockey in 1874, and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.” –Unknown

    And … this also reminds me of the tired old chestnut about Japanese cars — “Economy stops at the pump.”

    Thanks Shelby, this is both funny sheesh and funny ha-ha. But no, we’re not surprised. They tell us we can’t afford to feed and educate our people, they want us to work for nothing if we have jobs at all, they’re kicking us out on the streets, and fighting like hell to limit access to vital health care. But the sacred penis marches on at all costs. Freud would be so proud. – Linda


    1. Of course the sacred penis must be kept UP!! If Cialis and Viagra won’t do it, then by god we’ll fund the pecker pump. Cock it UP!! Fuck your teeth seniors! We’ve got peckers to pump! Just because your sick mouth has the potential to make your entire body sick, fuck that shit, penises are muy importante, doncha know!! Now, all you bald mouth motherfuckers, close your puckered mouths and pick up a penis pump and poke a polecat!!

      No, it ain’t funny Linda. Not really because people’s mouths have the potential to kill them but that’s all good so long as men can pump up a pecker. By golly we’ve got our priorities and gum disease ain’t it, getting a ‘boner’ is!

      America ain’t shit!!!!! The NSA can be all over me like flies on shit, cause I ain’t got a penis to pump, so you can’t have mine, I don’t got one!!! For the love of ….!! Goddamn it all to hell!!


    1. Stuart, the penis always trumps women’s needs, even pickled peckers. Power to the pecker! Pump, pump, pump it up!

      Tell me about getting pissed off. I could write a book on it!

      Thanks for stopping by Stuart!


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