Tag: home

“The Peace Of Being Alone”

key to home

Wrap me in your warmth
And shield me from the cold.
A blanket would be nice.
It is worth its weight in gold.

A pair of shoes, I am in need,
but I won’t hold my breath.
‘twould be too much to ask
of those who have the wealth.

Need I hold out hope,
for a home to call my own.
A roof to hide the stars,
and the peace of being alone.

Written by,
Shelby I. Courtland
© 2013 Shelby I. Courtland

There is a difference in being lonely and being alone. The homeless are never alone, even out in the streets as there are always people passing by. They are lonely because they are shunned due to the loss of their identity. Our identity is also defined by our address and when we have none, we are never alone. If they are in shelters, there is never any peace and if they are on the streets, they are harassed. Again, no peace. This Christmas, think about how you would feel if, when you left your job, or went shopping, there was no ‘address’ for you to return to, no familiar personal belongings left untouched because they are behind lock and key and you are not toting them around with you; exposed for all to see, just as the homeless are, exposed and yet, invisible. Can you just imagine what it would feel like to a homeless person, who after 20 years of homelessness, turn a key in their very own lock, enter their ‘home’ and for the first time in years, experience the ‘peace of being alone’? Think about it!

I’m Finally Here!

I have not been active in here due to the fact that I moved from the south(my hometown) back to the midwest. I am moving into my new home tomorrow and will be quite busy, however, I thought that I would take the time to say how glad I am to be back in the midwest. When I lived here before, I really did not appreciate what the midwest had to offer. I kept comparing the south to the midwest and the midwest always came up short, but after living in the south this past year and finding that ‘sometimes home is not where a person belongs’ and I most definitely do not belong in my old hometown, I have a different attitude about the midwest. I found so many things in the south that I could not put up with like the fact that many seem stuck in a time warp, have not moved forward and have no wish to do so. I realized that many are still fighting the War between the States and have no desire to get past the fact that it’s over and they lost. I was so tired of seeing the confederate flag on practically every pickup truck. The sheer ignorance of so many people wallowing in their ignorance was just unreal. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not speaking of everyone in the south, just what I observed in MY neck of the woods.

I also noticed that my family members are the same as they’ve always been, spiteful, selfish and with an it’s “all about me” attitude. Some things never change, unfortunately. I am not like them, never wanted to be like them and really never had much to do with them. I am so thankful that I had it in me to leave, to explore, to broaden my horizons and become a ‘people person’, someone who cares about others. I have no intention of ever going back. I am done! I put my life on hold to go there and take care of my mother because I had gotten a phone call that she was ill. Words almost fail me trying to describe my mother. What I found was an extremely bitter, hateful and disrespectful woman who treated the few people who would put up with her as though she was doing them a favor. No, I am not perfect, but I did everything I could do for her, even offered to bring her back with me, but it came to a point where I had to say, “enough is enough, I’m done, stick a fork in me.” I packed up and left and I have no regrets. What shall become of her? I don’t know and I don’t care. This may sound cold, but that is how I feel.

And so, now…I look forward and not backward, not again. The next step for me is to continue to do what I can to bring to the forefront the issues that people are confronted with on a daily basis and who have no voice.

I found that home is not for me.
It is not the place I want to be.
I’ve traveled near and traveled far.
I followed each and every star.
I then decided to follow my heart.
An old home found me and I’m making a new start.